Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
That scene in Jurassic park was uncomfortable to watch. I don’t think she was attracted to him at all. She was just interested in the science and wanted to hear about it.
Right, because he's working on the "future ex-Mrs. Malcom" I think he had 3 ex-wives. lol
This x 1000. I don't understand what is so difficult to understand. Very few women (I am a woman) are going to keep it a secret so all theses bizarre plans, "styles" etc. are useless.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Auraliea
Stop thinking of it as a step by step equation. You're just going to make yourself (and others) feel uncomfortable.
OP, read the above quotes. As I said in your other thread...don't be that guy that makes people uncomfortable.
IMO, you shouldn't be looking to escalate anything. These things need to happen (or not happen) naturally. The woman will make it clear if she's interested. And if she doesn't, you just need to accept that.
Your recent posts come across as showing a predatory and creepy mindset. Based on some of the other posters' comments, I don't think I'm alone in thinking that. And if people online are picking up on that from your posts, I have to assume you're making people uncomfortable in person.
I understand you're getting frustrated, but....
"I've read many threads (elsewhere) and articles from women complaining about being hit on by guys they're not interested in but that's a risk I've got to learn to take."
^^^^ This is a really bad idea. If you're not getting clear signs of interest from a woman, please leave her alone.
But if the guy is inexperienced or maybe not confident, he won't recognize it.
I like "banter" - a light kind of teasing conversation with some slight sexy overtones. Nothing off-putting but enough for her to think...hmmmmmm.
Touching from a man so soon would be too intimidating for me, but yes, if she finds a reason to touch YOU in even an innocent way, that is a good sign she at least feels very comfortable with you.
OP, read the above quotes. As I said in your other thread...don't be that guy that makes people uncomfortable.
IMO, you shouldn't be looking to escalate anything. These things need to happen (or not happen) naturally. The woman will make it clear if she's interested. And if she doesn't, you just need to accept that.
Your recent posts come across as showing a predatory and creepy mindset. Based on some of the other posters' comments, I don't think I'm alone in thinking that. And if people online are picking up on that from your posts, I have to assume you're making people uncomfortable in person.
I understand you're getting frustrated, but....
"I've read many threads (elsewhere) and articles from women complaining about being hit on by guys they're not interested in but that's a risk I've got to learn to take."
^^^^ This is a really bad idea. If you're not getting clear signs of interest from a woman, please leave her alone.
Well, sometimes I get the woman that is "just friendly." I had a situation where I met a woman at a Meetup, we had a good back and forth "getting to know you" banter and she asked me to add her on Facebook.
When I got home I got to chatting with her, and I think I was starting to flirt with her.
She goes, "Don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not looking for anything right now."
And I said, "Oh, well...you asked me to add you on Facebook...figured wouldn't hurt me to give it a shot, right? lol"
She said, "Well, I'm that way with everyone".
So basically, you'll get that category of someone who is across the board friendly with the general population.
Because usually, I get women that are deliberately UN-friendly...their reason...that they aren't interested even at THAT point. They don't want to encourage you. Of course you do steer clear of them for obvious reasons.
Quote:
Touching from a man so soon would be too intimidating for me, but yes, if she finds a reason to touch YOU in even an innocent way, that is a good sign she at least feels very comfortable with you.
THis woman did the same with me, but I guess she's just a tactile person. YOu see, some women can be so subtle, so it IS hard decipher interest...until it'll come to a head via a back and forth dialogue (communication) getting clarification.
In some cases, interest cannot be deciphered, unless it was with the 2 kinds of women I described here.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,957,550 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by funymann
Do you even read what he is asking Timberline?!
Listen OP, if you like them then the easiest and most effective way is to smile, walk up and introduce yourself.
If she likes you then you will tell by how she responds.
I read what he is asking and it makes no sense. None. This stuff is simple. Really. It is. Your advice doesn't make any sense at all in the context he provided.
Quote:
Originally Posted by LLCNYC
This x 1000. I don't understand what is so difficult to understand. Very few women (I am a woman) are going to keep it a secret so all theses bizarre plans, "styles" etc. are useless.
Right? If they are interested it is almost always obvious. If I'm unsure for whatever reason (usually that is because I'm over thinking) just ask them out. Criminy.
Well, sometimes I get the woman that is "just friendly." I had a situation where I met a woman at a Meetup, we had a good back and forth "getting to know you" banter and she asked me to add her on Facebook.
When I got home I got to chatting with her, and I think I was starting to flirt with her.
She goes, "Don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not looking for anything right now."
And I said, "Oh, well...you asked me to add you on Facebook...figured wouldn't hurt me to give it a shot, right? lol"
She said, "Well, I'm that way with everyone".
So basically, you'll get that category of someone who is across the board friendly with the general population.
Because usually, I get women that are deliberately UN-friendly...their reason...that they aren't interested even at THAT point. They don't want to encourage you. Of course you do steer clear of them for obvious reasons.
THis woman did the same with me, but I guess she's just a tactile person. YOu see, some women can be so subtle, so it IS hard decipher interest...until it'll come to a head via a back and forth dialogue (communication) getting clarification.
In some cases, interest cannot be deciphered, unless it was with the 2 kinds of women I described here.
Sorry but IMO that's a bit odd & being added on FB means basically nothing.
"Figured it wouldn't hurt me to give it a shot, right?" reeks of desperation. Like stage 4.
OK, so early stages, like a first date, or we just met at a social event, here is what I like to get from a guy, which tells me that he is definitely interested in me "that way" but he is not crossing the line to making me uncomfortable...
We've been doing the friendly/chatty for a while. I'm smiling and talking, he's smiling and talking. Gradually as the night goes on, if we are in a social group, his attention is more and more on me, and less on others. Until it feels like it is just the two of us, and we're practically ignoring everyone else. He is looking at me a lot. Not creepy-ogling my chest or anything, but looking at my face. What you are doing with your eyes is CRITICALLY IMPORTANT in communicating desire. I know it's hard to pull off, being nervous makes humans want to look away. But even my shy, introvert boyfriend, that first night we met and spent time at this bar event, we went outside because we couldn't converse in the loud interior, and we sat on the patio for hours, and it was just us...and I did most of the talking, but I could tell he was interested in me. It would be easy to say it was his "energy" (people in my circles use that word a lot) but what did it LOOK like?
Even though he is not suave or smooth or Goldblum-in-J.Park-like...his energy was like that of a lounging leopard. He looked relaxed, calm. (This makes you look confident even if you don't feel it.) He asked leading questions to keep me talking, and he looked at me a lot. That calm but focused gaze.... It's full of potential but it's not threatening or boundary pushing.
If a woman is willing to engage in conversation with you one-on-one for a long period of time, as you are putting off that energy at her, without making any excuse to leave (most women are very good at extracting ourselves if we're uncomfortable)...then there is hope. And you might be able to press forward to a small bit of physical contact as a test to see where her comfort level is. A brush of the hand. But at each step, watch what she does. Does she pull back or try to escape, or is she still right there with ya? It's all about reading the response, and if it suddenly turns to "Nope, stop, I want off this ride" then you do have to respect that. At the end of this interaction, ALWAYS always try and make sure that a means to stay in contact is established, as well as a plan to meet again. A specific one. "I'm free on Saturday, I was wondering if you'd like to get together again, I have really enjoyed talking to you tonight" kind of a plan.
If she agrees to meet #2, and follows through, then you know your chances are good.
Regarding Mr. Goldblum, since I'm a fan, while the actor is very sexy to me, in that role in Jurassic Park, he was most definitely playing the part of "that guy." Suave and slightly boundary pushing nearly to the point of being annoying, he can get the woman but he cannot manage to keep her. You don't actually want to be that guy.
That poster judged correctly; I was going to say the same thing. The problem is there was no need to share your thought process as to why you thought there was a connection when there wasn't. Sharing that thought process just reeks of insecurity and fear. A man's reasoning for pursuing an attractive woman is self-evident; you don't need a woman to validate it for you unless you're insecure. What she hears in this situation is something like, "oh, I'm sorry, you added me on Facebook so I thought I had a chance, please don't think negatively of me," and to her you sound like a total weenie, and a final key point, it puts the woman in the position of having to come up with some BS to say on the spot so she doesn't hurt your fragile ego further. Which women rightly hate to do.
And how in the world could someone think a facebook contact is the same as a phone number? You don't have female FB friends with like 800 male FB friends? I do. You think these women were romantically interested in all 800 of these men? Reminds me of the episode in season 1 of Atlanta where they're at the club and Paper Boi asks for the number of a fox he had been kicking it with all night. She gives a rehearsed smile and says, "you can add me on Instagram!" Social media is a tool; it's not prima facie evidence that a woman is into you.
And how in the world could someone think a facebook contact is the same as a phone number? You don't have female FB friends with like 800 male FB friends? I do. You think these women were romantically interested in all 800 of these men? Reminds me of the episode in season 1 of Atlanta where they're at the club and Paper Boi asks for the number of a fox he had been kicking it with all night. She gives a rehearsed smile and says, "you can add me on Instagram!" Social media is a tool; it's not prima facie evidence that a woman is into you.
Because she asked me to add her, and I did not. She made the first move to desire to stay in touch.
I've gotten phone #'s from women, only to call them and not return my calls. It's all the same, dude. Women hand out digits to be nice, because they know if you call...they know to ignore it.
Mod cut.
Last edited by PJSaturn; 12-11-2018 at 02:11 PM..
Reason: Orphaned (replies to posts which have been deleted).
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
