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Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,957,550 times
Reputation: 40635
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DefiantNJ
The gender ratio makes a huge difference. When there are significantly more men than women then women might start getting messages from several guys. Thus there is higher probability that men's message might be skipped or ignored. I would think the gender ratios that is as close to 50/50 as possible is the best...
Sorry, just way off. Again. Some women are getting lots of messages, others none at all. No matter the gender ratios this is happening. It's all about individuals. It's all individual to individual.
If someone is ignoring your message it is because they aren't either engaged or their not interested. Once again, gender ratios aren't going to impact that.
Think about using a site. Say OKC. Do I know in my radius how many guys there are to women? Nope. Do women? Nope. Does knowing, say, there are a couple of hundred or thousand more guys impact who I message? Nope. Why would it? How could it? Either the profile speaks to me, or it doesn't. Either our matching percent is high, or it isn't. Other dudes don't impact that. We connect, or we do not. Again, other guys aren't going to impact that, unless I have a really really mentally messed up outlook on dating and think, sigh, I'm desperate, this one I guess is good enough, there is nothing else out there, I just need something... which is never going to result in a connection or a good relationship.
Last edited by timberline742; 12-20-2018 at 10:41 AM..
Sorry, just way off. Again. Some women are getting lots of messages, others none at all. No matter the gender ratios this is happening. It's all about individuals. It's all individual to individual.
And when one does not recognize this, one tends to hit "dating" in a semi-random fashion that fails to recognize that the recipients of their messages are PEOPLE.
Sorry, just way off. Again. Some women are getting lots of messages, others none at all. No matter the gender ratios this is happening. It's all about individuals. It's all individual to individual.
If someone is ignoring your message it is because they aren't either engaged or their not interested. Once again, gender ratios aren't going to impact that.
.
Sorry, but I disagree with you. Again. Someone might be ignoring my message for the reasons you have stated. But a woman might also be ignoring it because she received quite a few good messages before she was able to get to mine. And my message simply gets lost or deleted.
And the more guys are there on the app, the higher is the probability that a woman might get multiple messages. That is just a simple law of probability...
Last edited by DefiantNJ; 12-20-2018 at 11:45 AM..
Sorry, just way off. Again. Some women are getting lots of messages, others none at all. No matter the gender ratios this is happening. It's all about individuals. It's all individual to individual.
If someone is ignoring your message it is because they aren't either engaged or their not interested. Once again, gender ratios aren't going to impact that.
That seems to defy logic and human nature. Sometimes I wonder if we, and at times I am part of this, are so determined to oppose the red pill types or the bit of red pill in many men that we don't really think things through. Or maybe the bit of truth in red pill thinking offends our sensibilities to the extent that all the stuff that matters ceases to matter when a red piller says it matters.
The process of finding one person is much easier if you can get the attention of several individuals as a step toward discovering if one might be a good match. It's harder to get that person's attention when there are several others speaking to her. Unless you believe that people who are meant for us appear like a back lit Hollywood soul mate we can pick out of a stadium full of people, the more static in the form of uninteresting men and the more men she might consider both serve to dim your initial glow. More men means she'll encounter both more of the static and more of the potentially interesting men.
Sorry, but I disagree with you. Again. Someone might be ignoring my message for the reasons you have stated. But someone might also be ignoring it because there a woman received quite a few good messages before she was able to get to mine. And my message simply gets lost or deleted.
.
Right, sometimes it pays to send another follow-up message like a week later. I did this in the past, and a woman DID respond admitting she had honestly overlooked it and apologized. We wound up going out on a couple of dates.
The gender ratio makes a huge difference. When there are significantly more men than women then women might start getting messages from several guys. Thus there is higher probability that men's message might be skipped or ignored. I would think the gender ratios that is as close to 50/50 as possible is the best...
I agree with all except for the 50/50 part.
Quote:
Originally Posted by somebodynew
I wonder if it hurts your head to come up with this kind of convoluted theory? So what you are saying is that, for you, it is better to be in a small group because you are otherwise uninteresting and unattractive? And that being "good enough" is cool as long as you "get" someone?
Nope, I keep myself in shape and have a broad range of knowledge But their are other guys who also have attractive traits, I'm not arrogant enough to think otherwise. there have been rare occasions where I have been someplace where the ratio's were reversed where more than one woman was interested at the same time and it was not an easy choice as they were BOTH my type and the one I did not pick may have been a great choice also but since I only focus on one woman at a time I'll never know.
And I remember the first "former factory woman heavy town" I was in it was like half the women in the bar noticed me and my friend walk in, I got flirted with aggressively the whole night(it was great) I was thinking the whole night"this must be what being a hot chick feels like" and I was also thinking "why do women complain about this?". now that was in 1990 and since then I have been many different places and lived in a few different places and yes men have an easier time dating in woman heavy populations, and women have an easier time dating in man heavy populations(like small towns with a military base or bases nearby), and yes there are a minority of people male and female who will do well no matter where they go for the rest of us it's hunger games"may the odd be ever in our favor" or we are screwed..
Nope, I keep myself in shape and have a broad range of knowledge But their are other guys who also have attractive traits, I'm not arrogant enough to think otherwise. there have been rare occasions where I have been someplace where the ratio's were reversed where more than one woman was interested at the same time and it was not an easy choice as they were BOTH my type and the one I did not pick may have been a great choice also but since I only focus on one woman at a time I'll never know.
I am curious. You were at a place. And in that place you "picked" someone. What did you "pick" them for? I mean, what prevents you from talking to and getting to know more than one person?
Quote:
And I remember the first "former factory woman heavy town" I was in it was like half the women in the bar noticed me and my friend walk in, I got flirted with aggressively the whole night(it was great) I was thinking the whole night"this must be what being a hot chick feels like" and I was also thinking "why do women complain about this?".
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,957,550 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by DefiantNJ
Sorry, but I disagree with you. Again. Someone might be ignoring my message for the reasons you have stated. But a woman might also be ignoring it because she received quite a few good messages before she was able to get to mine. And my message simply gets lost or deleted.
And the more guys are there on the app, the higher is the probability that a woman might get multiple messages. That is just a simple law of probability...
Fine, keep with the wishful thinking that your message was really from the person she wanted to connect with and wanted to read and your message was just lost or accidentally deleted.
Quote:
Originally Posted by homina12
That seems to defy logic and human nature. Sometimes I wonder if we, and at times I am part of this, are so determined to oppose the red pill types or the bit of red pill in many men that we don't really think things through. Or maybe the bit of truth in red pill thinking offends our sensibilities to the extent that all the stuff that matters ceases to matter when a red piller says it matters.
The process of finding one person is much easier if you can get the attention of several individuals as a step toward discovering if one might be a good match. It's harder to get that person's attention when there are several others speaking to her. Unless you believe that people who are meant for us appear like a back lit Hollywood soul mate we can pick out of a stadium full of people, the more static in the form of uninteresting men and the more men she might consider both serve to dim your initial glow. More men means she'll encounter both more of the static and more of the potentially interesting men.
What am I missing?
Your missing that more is not better. That its not a numbers game. And that chemistry and connecting isn't about logic. I can go out with someone new every night of the week. Lots of people can (if they have the time / money). That is no way shape or form will help me in connecting with a person I would want to connect with. It would just expend more time, money, energy, and that's it. Wasteful and stupid.
The entire key is NARROWING a focus on fewer and fewer people, to the point of the individual. If anything, smaller populations to deal with will help you with that as you're able to easily focus on everything in their profile.
Whether there are 600 men and 400 women, or 60000 men and 400000 women, it's not going to make a difference when you're focusing on just the very few that are what one is looking for... AND who are looking for you... It's only going to be a few and the other 397 or whatever are irrelevant, IF you are what they are also looking for... and even then, that's just the beginning.
One of the most frustrating things about people whining about OLD so much is it is clear they don't focus, for one, and two, they aren't considering what the other person is looking for. Are they reading the entire profile, thinking on it, looking at the answers to her questions, thinking on that and how yours differ and if who they are fit with what she is looking for. They just seem to think, she is cute and seems nice, and boom... that's enough. Nope.
Last edited by timberline742; 12-20-2018 at 04:23 PM..
One of the most frustrating things about people whining about OLD so much is it is clear they don't focus, for one, and two, they aren't considering what the other person is looking for. Are they reading the entire profile, thinking on it, looking at the answers to her questions, thinking on that and how yours differ and if who they are fit with what she is looking for. They just seem to think, she is cute and seems nice, and boom... that's enough. Nope.
I read the entire profile. Most of which sound alike, "Looking for my partner in crime", "Life's too short to sweat the small stuff", "My friends consider me easy going" "I love to laugh" "Have passport will travel!", "I look just as good in a little black dress for a night out, to a pair of torn jeans out in the yard."
That's a good majority of them, but I figure that most of what is actually about themselves can be covered in the correspondence as a typical profile write-up is only scratching the surface.
There are some stand-outs though. And I read those thoroughly (Narrowing my focus here), and make my email reflect what they stated in their profile. Some of which were people who shared the same obscure hobbies as I do. I'm into the sci-fi thing, board games, comic book movies, and I'd get a bit more descriptive when contacting them in my first email. You'd think that'd be a great way to get them to answer, but nada.
A lot of these ladies inboxes are so full, they can't get to them all. Some just throw up their hands and go "********** noise, this is like another job!"
One woman I dated said she tried online dating for a day and had an anxiety attack when she saw the amount of emails she received.
Sorry, but I disagree with you. Again. Someone might be ignoring my message for the reasons you have stated. But a woman might also be ignoring it because she received quite a few good messages before she was able to get to mine. And my message simply gets lost or deleted.
...
I appreciate your wishful thinking but I think that's basically all it is...as a woman, if I don't reply, it's not because it's lost or deleted.
Quote:
Originally Posted by timberline742
Sorry, just way off. Again. Some women are getting lots of messages, others none at all. No matter the gender ratios this is happening. It's all about individuals. It's all individual to individual.
If someone is ignoring your message it is because they aren't either engaged or their not interested. Once again, gender ratios aren't going to impact that.
.
+1
But I don't think men want to hear it. They'd rather send you yet another message...ya know....just in case.
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