Why are there so few female loners who still want romantic relationships? (boyfriends, guys)

[timberline742]

Originally Posted by VanMarlton

But hey, women have a thing for men in charge, no?

Being attracted to a strong and confident person is one thing. That is attractive.

A person that has to keep a mate subservient and reliant on them to feel confidence and control shows that the person actually has neither strength or confidence, quite the opposite, it shows them to be mentally and emotionally weak. That is not attractive.

[gazzaa2]

Originally Posted by TMBGBlueCanary

This is just my opinion, nothing to back it up. Not scientific AT ALL.



But I think, overall, women don't need men in their lives as much as men need women/their brains are wired a little differently due to human history andit's influence on biology. I am not saying they don't love as much as the men do or they don't care, but I think that women are somehow able to cope and compartmentalize the loss of a mate or not having a mate better, out of necessity.

In the past/human history, men went off to hunt for weeks at a time and didn't come back or went off to war for months and years at a time and many did not come back/were never heard from again. A woman who was not well adapted to handle this kind of loss (who because depressed or suicidal) didn't thrive/her children didn't thrive and was selected against. Being able to cope with no mate is a survival mechanism that women needed that men didn't need as much.

Again, just my own theory based on personal experience and it could be total hogwash (so take with a heap of salt). But I've often wondered why it seemed like female friends (widowed or broken up relationships) as a group seemed to cope better with loss or breakup and not want someone else longer than male friends who seem to need someone in their lives.

Of course, that's just as groups. On an individual level, things are different and people, regardless of gender, have a wide range of tolerances, abilities to cope, etc. They are unique. Do not make the fallacy of comparing an individual to a group. Doesn't work.

While there's much truth in this I rarely ever come across a single woman, whereas single men are seemingly everywhere. Once women get older and reach more widow age (men on average die younger) women adapt better than men probably typically do to losing a spouse and grow used to being alone. That's more where men want to go out and find someone else. Often the same post-divorce although it varies as the guy might go all MGTOW.

In younger age groups though women nearly always have a boyfriend. I work in a large office and an unmarried woman without a steady boyfriend is very rare. There's a ton of single guys though.

[Amelie90]

Originally Posted by cyphorx

I have noticed online as well as in real life, non-social(different from antisocial) men outnumber non-social women by a HUGE margin, and while some male loners have no use for romantic involvement they are a(granted loud) small minority, for most male loners a romantic partner is their ONE exception to their "I don't like people" mindset, on the flip side most of the few women that are loners also include potential romantic partners as people to avoid also.



Why is this?


I'm an admitted loner, I don't like being in groups of random people for very long, even this Xmas I may go to the family Xmas party long enough to say hi to everyone and I'm out... But my fondest memories of the holiday seasons were times I had a girlfriend on the holidays(especially on who's relatives lived in another state).



For me not wanting a huge or even a medium sized social circle does not = wanting to be alone.

I know other guys in depression group who feel the same way, but why aren't there many women with that mindset?

I think you’re making an assumption that isn’t correct for all or even most “loner” women.

[LivingDeadGirl]

I am completely baffled by the thought that being a loner is depressing. I am a single female, BS and MA college degrees, well-traveled, retired from a university where I was a police officer, administrator, then, became a stripper for 10 yrs. I was married 2 times in my life for a total of 7 yrs. I LOVE being alone, to do what I want, when I want, spend what I want, see who I want, and so forth.

If being alone is depressing, then even if one doesn't desire marriage, it seems that joining a number of social groups should cure depression.

For me, at least, I don't like social groups. It seems the women all want to talk about babies and the such, and I have nothing in common with most people.

Fascinating thread.

[timberline742]

Originally Posted by gazzaa2

While there's much truth in this I rarely ever come across a single woman, whereas single men are seemingly everywhere. Once women get older and reach more widow age (men on average die younger) women adapt better than men probably typically do to losing a spouse and grow used to being alone. That's more where men want to go out and find someone else. Often the same post-divorce although it varies as the guy might go all MGTOW.

In younger age groups though women nearly always have a boyfriend. I work in a large office and an unmarried woman without a steady boyfriend is very rare. There's a ton of single guys though.

So, who are they dating? Since the sex ration is really 1 to 1 (with very minor variations), they are dating someone... so who?


Or are they fibbing so clueless dudes leave them alone?

[VanMarlton]

Originally Posted by timberline742

Being attracted to a strong and confident person is one thing. That is attractive.

A person that has to keep a mate subservient and reliant on them to feel confidence and control shows that the person actually has neither strength or confidence, quite the opposite, it shows them to be mentally and emotionally weak. That is not attractive.

Nah, I dont think a man you're describing would be in charge of anything. Even with money. (Although again, it would be hard to achieve wealth for someone so spineless)

[gazzaa2]

Originally Posted by timberline742

So, who are they dating? Since the sex ration is really 1 to 1 (with very minor variations), they are dating someone... so who?


Or are they fibbing so clueless dudes leave them alone?

Honestly it's always been a mystery to me that wherever i've worked (plenty of office jobs) the ratio of single men to women has always been a lot higher.

[VanMarlton]

Originally Posted by gazzaa2

Honestly it's always been a mystery to me that wherever i've worked (plenty of office jobs) the ratio of single men to women has always been a lot higher.

Yes, I have been noticing that as well. No idea why.

Also, when I ask the girls I know if they have any single girlfriends they almost never do (and I believe that to be honest truth) but if I think of the guys I personally know only about half of them are in relationships, if not less.

[timberline742]

Originally Posted by VanMarlton

Yes, I have been noticing that as well. No idea why.

Also, when I ask the girls I know if they have any single girlfriends they almost never do (and I believe that to be honest truth) but if I think of the guys I personally know only about half of them are in relationships, if not less.

Clearly the top 20% of men are dating these 80% of women like a harem, that's the most obvious answer

[VanMarlton]

Originally Posted by timberline742

Clearly the top 20% of men are dating these 80% of women like a harem, that's the most obvious answer

I appreciate the humor, but I am referring to exclusive relationships, not "dating"