Your opinion on what I consider bad behavior from my SO (social, relations)

[nobodysbusiness]

There is no relationship.

[BirdieBelle]

Originally Posted by Petunia 100

That's a good question. Have you moved to a new area recently, OP? Why is there no other person in your life who could give you a ride?

Are you hanging on to this guy out of loneliness?

Originally Posted by Mirabella

I was panicked and did finally find someone to take me.

Who took you, Mirabella?

[Petunia 100]

Originally Posted by matisse12

It is not unusual at all that people do not have someone to take them to a medical procedure, sometimes wait while the medical procedure is done and completed, then take the person home and see that they make to inside their dwelling and are safe.

This topic comes up all the time in the lives of many. To single out the OP on this point is not valid nor compassionate nor understanding.

For one, most people have a job and cannot take a big part of the day off from work to escort a friend or acquaintance or relative to a medical procedure and take them home.

Another is that not everyone, by a long shot, lives anywhere near relatives.

(on the OP's topic, I also think it was pretty low for your man to not follow through)

Ffs, I asked a simple question, I did not "single out the OP". My question is perfectly valid, and does not lack compassion or understanding. It's a QUESTION.

I have had people give me a ride home from a medical procedure, and I have given rides to orhers. A ride is really not an insurmountable obstacle.

[Lovehound]

Originally Posted by Mirabella

Thanks for the responses. I showed this thread to the SO and I think he gets that his behavior was bad. But he keeps saying he was just so angry. I think he believes that it was therefore justified that he didn't respond because I made him so mad.

So I said I would put that out here and see what the community says. I think there is certainly good in him - he has done a lot for me - but I believe he just doesn't have insight in to what is "proper" or caring behavior in difficult, emotional situations.

I'm late to the topic but read the whole thing and I just see absolutely no forgiving him not being happy to take you. If I were him I would do it just to show my love and affection for my woman.

He believes that anger excuses anything? Did you know that the the difference between 2nd degree murder and 3rd degree murder is whether anger and intent are involved? Either way it's still murder.

I don't understand what he was angry about. That you needed medical care? I've been in the situation, sedation = no Uber. And a week ahead of time is a bit short to make new friends, but plenty of time for boyfriend to adjust schedule.

I want to know what caused his anger. That you asked a favor? What the hell kind of care is that?

If I were you I would give a bit more thought to his temperament and character and wonder why he doesn't love you enough to do some minor favor for you. Maybe you might be better off with somebody else.

[LLCNYC]

Originally Posted by Lovehound

I'm late to the topic but read the whole thing and I just see absolutely no forgiving him not being happy to take you. If I were him I would do it just to show my love and affection for my woman.

He believes that anger excuses anything? Did you know that the the difference between 2nd degree murder and 3rd degree murder is whether anger and intent are involved? Either way it's still murder.

I don't understand what he was angry about. That you needed medical care? I've been in the situation, sedation = no Uber. And a week ahead of time is a bit short to make new friends, but plenty of time for boyfriend to adjust schedule.

I want to know what caused his anger. That you asked a favor? What the hell kind of care is that?

If I were you I would give a bit more thought to his temperament and character and wonder why he doesn't love you enough to do some minor favor for you. Maybe you might be better off with somebody else.

I think you didn't read where she was fighting with him about an ex prior...he had enough and left.

He had not spoken to her in 2 weeks prior to the appt. She even went banging on his door and he didn't respond.

I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be driving someone anywhere if I was pissed off at them nor would I expect someone to still take me.

[LLCNYC]

Originally Posted by Mirabella

Thanks for the responses. I showed this thread to the SO and I think he gets that his behavior was bad. But he keeps saying he was just so angry. I think he believes that it was therefore justified that he didn't respond because I made him so mad.
So I said I would put that out here and see what the community says. I think there is certainly good in him - he has done a lot for me - but I believe he just doesn't have insight in to what is "proper" or caring behavior in difficult, emotional situations.

IMO, he was justified not to take you.

I'd love to hear his side of this story.

[Gretchen963]

Originally Posted by Mirabella

Thanks for the responses. I showed this thread to the SO and I think he gets that his behavior was bad. But he keeps saying he was just so angry. I think he believes that it was therefore justified that he didn't respond because I made him so mad.
So I said I would put that out here and see what the community says. I think there is certainly good in him - he has done a lot for me - but I believe he just doesn't have insight in to what is "proper" or caring behavior in difficult, emotional situations.

If this is the way you normally address him, I can certainly understand what set him off and why you two have had multiple fights/arguments in the past.

You need to take a step back and realize that YOU play just as big of a role in how these issues are handled as he does, and that YOU are part of the problem as well. As long as you continue to absolve yourself of any responsibility, you'll continue to have these arguments/problems/issues in the future.

You don't get to treat someone like an arse and then still expect them to cater and do things for you. As you've found out, life doesn't work that way. If you want him to be considerate to you, then show him the same consideration and respect in return.

[Lovehound]

Originally Posted by LLCNYC

I think you didn't read where she was fighting with him about an ex prior...he had enough and left.

He had not spoken to her in 2 weeks prior to the appt. She even went banging on his door and he didn't respond.

I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be driving someone anywhere if I was pissed off at them nor would I expect someone to still take me.

Okay I missed that but I still he is being childish when she is in a real jam.

Arguments don't stop until both people quit feeding the fire. This was an opportunity for him.

Maybe I have a mistaken idea that relationships are not supposed to be combative.

[Mirabella]

Originally Posted by LLCNYC

I think you didn't read where she was fighting with him about an ex prior...he had enough and left.

He had not spoken to her in 2 weeks prior to the appt. She even went banging on his door and he didn't respond.

I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be driving someone anywhere if I was pissed off at them nor would I expect someone to still take me.

What? There is nothing in my post about a time frame of 2 weeks. Please stop posting on my thread.

[elnina]

No need to be rude, OP. You had a fight a week before the surgery.
Same thing. He didn't respond to calls and banging to his door. You KNEW that he probably wouldn't take you there. You should ask someone else. It's not his fault that you don't have friends...