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Old 04-07-2008, 01:52 PM
 
Location: Dallas, NC
1,703 posts, read 2,765,341 times
Reputation: 785

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You really need to have a conversation with him about it. I don't understand how people get married without talking about this stuff. My hubby has always looked at the magazines and watched movies. We watch them together. We make sure they are kept where our son won't find them. I don't think that makes us bad people. We just have different ideas of keeping things spiced up for us.
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Old 04-07-2008, 01:53 PM
 
Location: Plano, Texas
8,639 posts, read 16,051,238 times
Reputation: 21163
Quote:
Originally Posted by LoveBoating View Post
Nope, a lot of husbands DON'T do it......I'm one of them. But, then again, I'm 59 years old also. Actually, I've never been attracted to porn anyway. Watched a couple of movies a few years ago (before being married), but just didn't "get into" them. My wife is very, very happy about that!! No magazines either.
As far as you go, just depends on what you can/want to tolerate. If you don't like it, talk to him and see what his reaction is. Then, go from there. If there is a problem......you will definitely find out FAST!!
Opinions about the acceptability of one partner using porn in a marriage is all over the board. I think LoveBoating expressed it pretty well. Depends on what you can/want to tolerate. I think LoveBoating gave you good advice about addressing the issue and seeing what your husband has to say about it.
Personally, for me it would be a BIG issue because of my personal convictions about it (convictions which he shares as well) For others, not so much if at all.

Last edited by kaykay; 04-07-2008 at 02:01 PM..
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Old 04-07-2008, 03:13 PM
 
Location: NE Florida
5,774 posts, read 11,729,322 times
Reputation: 3376
As said before, talk to him about this! If you say, "I'm afraid to", then you have even a bigger problem at hand......a lack of communication in your marriage. Looking/watching porn is good and bad, just depends on the couple. And, by me saying "good", I sure don't mean teriffic by any means. Porn is one of the major things that has broken up marriages. What I'm saying is, if you don't like it or knowing that your husband is spending money for it, you'd better do something QUICK. In marriages, especially ones with kids (small, grade school or HS) porn can be a REAL problem and should be addressed. I don't care how good you say he is as a husband/father, TALK TO HIM.....ASAP!!

Last edited by LoveBoating; 04-07-2008 at 03:14 PM.. Reason: puncuation adjust
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Old 04-07-2008, 03:19 PM
 
16,597 posts, read 14,428,806 times
Reputation: 9552
Quote:
Originally Posted by LoveBoating View Post
As said before, talk to him about this! If you say, "I'm afraid to", then you have even a bigger problem at hand......a lack of communication in your marriage. Looking/watching porn is good and bad, just depends on the couple. And, by me saying "good", I sure don't mean teriffic by any means. Porn is one of the major things that has broken up marriages. What I'm saying is, if you don't like it or knowing that your husband is spending money for it, you'd better do something QUICK. In marriages, especially ones with kids (small, grade school or HS) porn can be a REAL problem and should be addressed. I don't care how good you say he is as a husband/father, TALK TO HIM.....ASAP!!

I second that motion and echo it, in huge agreement.

Well said!

Creme
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Old 04-07-2008, 05:23 PM
 
Location: Beautiful New England
2,412 posts, read 5,081,508 times
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One thing that might be a factor here: has the husband expressed interest/desire for more sex (and by "more" I mean increased frequency, variety, excitement, etc.)? It may be that his looking at porn is a way for him to achieve stimulation that he is otherwise not getting.
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Old 04-07-2008, 07:51 PM
 
545 posts, read 1,403,128 times
Reputation: 191
Quote:
Originally Posted by bkneilbunch View Post
I am curious to know if other husbands rent XXX (porno) movies?
I recently saw evidence of my husband doing this. He is absolutely the most wonderful, loving husband/father ever. Am I just making too much out of it or do I need to be concerned?
REPLY: You have a husband that is a Fantiser and is developing his own little world with nude women in movies and on the internet. Pornography is a very addicting problem in the USA and actually accounts for a high number of divorces. You should be concerned and if you want some good materials on this subject, go to New Life Ministries: 1-800-NEW-LIFE . If he doesnt break the addiction, it will keep on advancing to greater destructive choices that are going to affect you directly. And you family, if you have one.
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Old 04-07-2008, 10:09 PM
 
11,815 posts, read 20,004,597 times
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Its easier to buy it than to rent it. The problem is that seeing the same thing over & over gets really old. I wish someone would actually have a plot & have the sex be secondary.
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Old 04-07-2008, 11:18 PM
 
Location: Franklin Massachusetts
7 posts, read 14,004 times
Reputation: 18
Join him my wife does. It makes for a great relationship. Some people are prudes I believe that if being sexy in the privacy of your home is a good thing. Feed the dog and he/she won't wander into garbage cans
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Old 04-07-2008, 11:33 PM
 
431 posts, read 1,220,416 times
Reputation: 303
my husband used to rent them on the dish and watch it on a huge screen tv ( they were larger than lifesize) sometimes you just need to join in and find something like soft porn so that both of you can be comfortable and learn some new things (you can still teach an old dog new tricks) however if it really bothers you then talk to him about it.
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Old 04-08-2008, 02:30 AM
 
Location: Ohio
2,178 posts, read 5,782,967 times
Reputation: 3760
Most men I have known like to watch porn at sometime or other. It is very common with us males and pretty much just a curiosity thing. It gets boring after awhile and most of us get tired of all the fake stuff and lose interest in watching it.
If it becomes a long term addiction and changes the quality of family life due to money spent or time taken away from family routine then it is a problem that should be addressed.
I have been married to the same woman for over 25 years and we raised 6 kids and I admit I have looked at porn a few times. But for me the watching was never as good as the doing.
I can live just fine without it. The few times I do check it out anymore is more or less to see if the old girls have croaked and been replaced with some new ones.
I don't think you should make a big deal of it yet. It may be just a passing fad that he will get bored with. If it continues long term, then you might have to question his motivation for watching it.
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