Welcome to City-Data.com Forum!
U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
 
Old 01-02-2019, 04:59 PM
 
Location: Middle of the valley
48,436 posts, read 34,627,532 times
Reputation: 73585

Advertisements

At the end of the day LowonLuck, you keep ending up in this same situation with a multitude of different guys.

Either your picker is non existent, or you are unreasonable. As in most cases, it is normally a combination of factors.
__________________
____________________________________________
My posts as a Mod will always be in red.
Be sure to review Terms of Service: TOS
And check this out: FAQ
Moderator: Relationships Forum / Hawaii Forum / Dogs / Pets / Current Events
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 01-02-2019, 06:09 PM
 
Location: Virginia
10,077 posts, read 6,372,858 times
Reputation: 27600
Quote:
Originally Posted by LowonLuck View Post
Well I have ocd and a perfectionist so my rigid way of doing things has benefited me substantially. Very rarely have I found someone that has a better way of doing things. Granted I am all for listening but he brings nothing of substance to the discussion
Considering the string of failed relationships you've had, I find it hard to believe that your rigid way of doing things has benefited you substantially. I also doubt that you're "all for listening". In fact, I would strongly suspect that during most conversations, if the other person starts to state an opinion contrary to your own, you immediately tune them out.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-02-2019, 06:22 PM
 
Location: Wisconsin
19,480 posts, read 25,056,304 times
Reputation: 51113
Quote:
Originally Posted by LowonLuck View Post

I don’t know what more I can do to make him feel like it is his place also.
He doesn’t want to buy anything for the home jointly.
What? If he really is your fiancé it certainly does not seem that he plans to stay with you very long if he does not want to buy anything jointly.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-02-2019, 06:36 PM
 
Location: Earth
4,575 posts, read 5,175,502 times
Reputation: 7010
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mikala43 View Post
At the end of the day LowonLuck, you keep ending up in this same situation with a multitude of different guys.

Either your picker is non existent, or you are unreasonable. As in most cases, it is normally a combination of factors.
Agreed. I am wondering if this is the same super hit Religious guy who wanted to monitor her texts & stood for her outside the bathroom to make sure she wasn't calling or texting anyone in it.

there's been a lot, and I have gotten them confused. Maybe I even missed one since that one.

But honestly, LOL, you don't sound like you need a man. Apparently your life is straight & you feel your way has gotten you taken care of. What's the man for? Why the desire to have a relationship or get married? You don't seem to be an emotionally invested person & you mentioned being indifferent to sex. Do you just want a boyfriend & husband so you can say you have one? Is it an ego deal because many around you are married, and you feel you deserve it too?

It seems you need a maid, or houseboy. Someone who can clean & do things around the house. But since it's business, there won't be the relationship drama that comes with it. You would be the guy's employer, and then you can have everything your way & the maid or houseboy would accept that, being a business.

Forget relationships & exposing your children to this kind of dysfunction. Get a house-helper & call it a say. After you get rid of this current guy you're with.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-02-2019, 07:38 PM
 
Location: The point of no return, er, NorCal
7,400 posts, read 6,351,299 times
Reputation: 9636
Quote:
Originally Posted by LowonLuck View Post
Have you ever moved into a home your significant other owns? How did you make it feel like it was your home?

My fiancé walks around constantly harping on the fact that this is my house, my responsibility and not his home. Today he actually said “if this is my home, the rules would be different”.

This is a common issue I have found. I use the phrase “our home” when I speak. I don’t know how to make him feel better. It has been almost 4 years.
Yeah...no. Why haven't you ended things yet? I'd have been done with this arrangement long ago. That statement right there signals clear problems that need to be evaluated.

And unless y'all are married, I wouldn't be into the whole this idea that it's his home, too. He's not invested. I don't know why you're playing into this fantasy that he wants to be a family in your "shared" home. He's just buying time until a better arrangement comes along.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-02-2019, 09:31 PM
 
Location: OHIO
2,575 posts, read 2,064,773 times
Reputation: 5966
Sounds miserable and like a waste of time and energy at this point.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-02-2019, 10:04 PM
 
Location: Texas
13,480 posts, read 8,334,679 times
Reputation: 25947
Four years and he still hasn't married you?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-02-2019, 10:33 PM
 
972 posts, read 538,435 times
Reputation: 1844
Based on what you've expressed, I think you need to have your own home and an SO who has his own home. It sounds like you don't cohabitate well.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-02-2019, 10:36 PM
 
10,341 posts, read 5,842,316 times
Reputation: 17884
Quote:
Originally Posted by Metaphysique View Post
Yeah...no. Why haven't you ended things yet? I'd have been done with this arrangement long ago. That statement right there signals clear problems that need to be evaluated.

And unless y'all are married, I wouldn't be into the whole this idea that it's his home, too. He's not invested. I don't know why you're playing into this fantasy that he wants to be a family in your "shared" home. He's just buying time until a better arrangement comes along.
Yeah, if I was still wondering, the morning after he high-speed bailed out of the car with my child witnessing the drama, he would have had his bags on the sidewalk. Just a note: “Come get the rest of yours stuff with the cops”.

This is ridiculous.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-03-2019, 08:53 AM
 
5,291 posts, read 5,216,211 times
Reputation: 18657
Quote:
Originally Posted by LowonLuck View Post
Have you ever moved into a home your significant other owns? How did you make it feel like it was your home?

My fiancé walks around constantly harping on the fact that this is my house, my responsibility and not his home. Today he actually said “if this is my home, the rules would be different”.

This is a common issue I have found. I use the phrase “our home” when I speak. I don’t know how to make him feel better. It has been almost 4 years.
You posted this a couple of months ago:

My fiancé and I have been together since April 2016, so over 2 years. Plenty of time to develop a trust in regards to money.

Not anywhere near 4 years.

You are treating him like you are his mommy. And he's acting like your spoiled adult kid. And you wonder why he doesnt feel like it not his home? Because its not.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships

All times are GMT -6. The time now is 04:10 PM.

© 2005-2024, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top