Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
From what I've seen and experienced, it is more likely for a guy to attach quickly to any THING. However, I've also seen women get really attached to someone quickly, but there are certain factors or...
I'll say this, women have standards (good thing). Guys would attach to a pile of trash if it had a heartbeat (only from what I experienced and seen).
I can only go by my experience, which is the men have always gotten attached to me long before I felt any attachment. I'm not needy, maybe that had something to do with it.
I used to go on a forum frequently that tended to about 99% women. In the relationship forum, I often saw women say they had some kind of FWB relationship or had sex early on and even though they may have claimed they didn't want a relationship, they admit they really did. I still think it's more in women's nature to attach emotionally especially if they have had sex.
I think it's probably been for the best. Detachment has been useful for brushing off rejection and also allowing myself to reject people who set off red flags.
Yeah I agree. And being detached doesn't hinder you from making connections. You can still be really open and vulnerable with a person while remaining detached. Because it's not the connection with the person in the moment you're detaching from. It's the idea that you've found "the one" you're going to spend your life with. You have to be okay getting to know someone in the moment and then letting them go on their way.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Grlzrl
I used to go on a forum frequently that tended to about 99% women. In the relationship forum, I often saw women say they had some kind of FWB relationship or had sex early on and even though they may have claimed they didn't want a relationship, they admit they really did. I still think it's more in women's nature to attach emotionally especially if they have had sex.
Oh yeah definitely. Sex makes me super attached. That's exactly why I hold off on having it. I want to get to know a person without sex chemicals in my brain influencing my view of them.
It takes me a very long time to become attached to someone, it doesn't mean I haven't formed other bonds with them but for the most part the guys in my life have been the ones to form attachments to me first and rather early. In my last relationship I think I was about a year in before I thought I would be quite devastated if we broke up.
But I don't think its a gender specific thing. I have been lucky to have never dated a bad man or been cheated on (that im aware off) But I have girlfriends that go from relationship to relationship always claiming they've found the love of their life and end up getting burned and fall apart from it, how they continue to allow themselves to fall so quickly is beyond my comprehension. So I would say dating history plays a bigger part in how quickly attachments are formed.
guys might get attached quicker because of a ladys' looks and flexibility..
usually women ...don't want to get emotionally invested too quickly if hes a player or a psycho..
..men usually have to prove more merit to women... and that takes longer..
however once a lady does attach she may attach deeper than the guy does..
From what I've seen and experienced, it is more likely for a guy to attach quickly to any THING. However, I've also seen women get really attached to someone quickly, but there are certain factors or...
I'll say this, women have standards (good thing). Guys would attach to a pile of trash if it had a heartbeat (only from what I experienced and seen).
Do you suppose women could have the reputation for becoming emotionally attached faster because they are more open about sharing their feelings of rejection with everyone? Perhaps men feel they have to keep it bottled up?
Perhaps some of us attract certain types? Before the first date some fellows act like "you are the one." Then again, I've had girlfriends that are sure this is the one before they get out on that first date, too. Settle down people, and think with the big head!
Then there is ghosting. I can't wrap my head around that one. Why don't people just ask if they're being ghosted instead of getting all worried that they have texts that aren't being returned? And if a person isn't interested, why are they so namby-pamby about just saying so?
That last paragraphs a little off topic, but it seems to come up frequently.
I think it is more an individual thing then a gender thing.
__________________ ____________________________________________
My posts as a Mod will always be in red.
Be sure to review Terms of Service: TOS
And check this out: FAQ
Moderator: Relationships Forum / Hawaii Forum / Dogs / Pets / Current Events
Technically it's not a male/female thing, it's an options thing. It just so happens that the AVERAGE female has more options than the AVERAGE male.
in group therapy I hear women all the time complain "why do all the guys who have their $#!t together have a fear of commitment?" and every guy in the room will say "because they know they have options!!!!!".
So if some guy who when single may manage to land 1 or 2 date a month(moderately attractive guy) gets involved with a woman who when single averaged 8 or 9 date offers a week or 3 or 4 even when not putting herself out there(moderately attractive woman), of course he is going to be more invested in the relationship and want to move it along more quickly.
Part of this is because of expectations and the differences between what men and women look for.
Joe average is happy with someone moderately attractive and pleasant to be around, average woman want's those things also but add a certain job level, home is a specific number of neighborhoods, melding seamlessly with her friends and family etc etc
Do you suppose women could have the reputation for becoming emotionally attached faster because they are more open about sharing their feelings of rejection with everyone? Perhaps men feel they have to keep it bottled up?
Perhaps some of us attract certain types? Before the first date some fellows act like "you are the one." Then again, I've had girlfriends that are sure this is the one before they get out on that first date, too. Settle down people, and think with the big head!
Then there is ghosting. I can't wrap my head around that one. Why don't people just ask if they're being ghosted instead of getting all worried that they have texts that aren't being returned? And if a person isn't interested, why are they so namby-pamby about just saying so?
That last paragraphs a little off topic, but it seems to come up frequently.
To be honest, I think like another poster said, it is an individual thing.
I have often heard that it is the man who is expected to fall in love faster than the woman, and vice versa. I honestly think that each person who makes the narrative about who falls faster is just using their own experiences as if they are the total facts.
I think it depends on the relationship. Some women fall in love with men who never really fall in love for some reason. Then some men fall for the woman who is just not that into them.
I'm admittedly rambling because there are so many factors I can think of when it comes to this. I would have to write a book on it to get into it (which I would love to do).
As far as ghosting, I hate that. But my theory is that the person who ghosts just wants to avoid confrontation. And no, it is not just awkwardness, there are times when things can get ugly over rejection and a break up (for instance, the news).
There are tons of people who don't know how to take rejection and they may lash out in ways that endanger others. That would be the only reason I would think to ghost someone.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
