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this guy from my work started talking to me (mostly over text) a couple months ago & we’ve been on 2 “dates” & now he thinks we’re in a committed relationship. I haven’t done anything to lead him on, but I assume I’ve been a bit too nice to the point where he thinks I like him back. I’m fine w/being friends but I do not want a relationship w/him. I know that he tells people (including his parents) that we’re dating & I feel like **** knowing that I don’t have the same feelings for him. I’m not sure how to politely tell him that we’re not dating/committed/etc. w/out hurting him & I really don’t want this to cause problems between us. What should I do?
TIA
Because it's an awkward situation. She may have only recently found out he's been telling people they're an item, so she's asking us how to soften the blow, when she does tell him.
Tia, you need to let him know at your earliest convenience. Lotsa nut jobs out there in the real world and he might be one of them possessive types of he's latched onto you so quickly. Speak your mind and voice yourself.
sometimes one just doesn't know until they know; it's a process (experience). "it was interesting; i'm not ready for a relationship."
of course, you can get an adverse reaction, but that's all the more reason to not continue.
you deserve someone who listens to you and respects personal decisions for yourself.
A few months ago I was in a situation where a former work colleague (we no longer work together) and I stayed in touch after I left for a different job. There was a communication breakdown, I thought we were going to have a relationship, and she thought we were just good friends.
She had the sense and decency to apologize for any communication mix up; take ownership of any confusion or misinterpretation, and make clear to me that this was not supposed to turn into a romance.
Even though she chose to go "No Contact" on me (likely to prevent leading me on any more), I still think she handled it properly.
It beat being ghosted. She owned it. She apologized. She gave me an explanation so I could work thru my disappointment
this guy from my work started talking to me (mostly over text) a couple months ago & we’ve been on 2 “dates” & now he thinks we’re in a committed relationship. I haven’t done anything to lead him on, but I assume I’ve been a bit too nice to the point where he thinks I like him back. I’m fine w/being friends but I do not want a relationship w/him. I know that he tells people (including his parents) that we’re dating & I feel like **** knowing that I don’t have the same feelings for him. I’m not sure how to politely tell him that we’re not dating/committed/etc. w/out hurting him & I really don’t want this to cause problems between us. What should I do?
TIA
Tell him you're really not interested in being romantically involved. Not that hard.
This. It's not fair to let someone continue to believe something. Tell him. Otherwise he'll wind up getting hurt.
Yep. And one more thing.
Unless you're absolutely sure, convinced without a shadow of a doubt that someone is the perfect person for you, never, ever, ever, ever date someone you work with. Don't do it because you're lonely, or bored, or because you're both working late together, or have a common hatred of your boss or anything else under the sun. Because unless you get married or something, it can very quickly turn into a nightmare with people getting fired, complaints getting filed with HR, and a host of other disasters in your professional life.
this guy from my work started talking to me (mostly over text) a couple months ago & we’ve been on 2 “dates” & now he thinks we’re in a committed relationship. I haven’t done anything to lead him on, but I assume I’ve been a bit too nice to the point where he thinks I like him back. I’m fine w/being friends but I do not want a relationship w/him. I know that he tells people (including his parents) that we’re dating & I feel like **** knowing that I don’t have the same feelings for him. I’m not sure how to politely tell him that we’re not dating/committed/etc. w/out hurting him & I really don’t want this to cause problems between us. What should I do?
TIA
Maybe you are the hottest gal he has ever “dated” and wants to show you off as if you and him are a couple.
I can see why he would do that if you are a hottie.
If you “don’t have feelings for him” then you have to step up to the plate and make it very clear.
“Listen, we are not going in the same direction. I don’t feel the same way as you do.”
The best solution is to say everything you think about your “relationship”.
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