If you are kinky at what point in a relationship should you talk about it ? (date, guy)
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Just say you’re a 7 on the sexual adventure scale but will be happy with a 5. Tie-up isn’t very strange.
Really? That depends...on a lot. Is it just a very casual tying up that is barely restrained and only for a few minutes and then "typical" sex starts? Or is it very elaborate bondage with patterned knots in particular positions and comprises about 90% of the entire scene?
Also, my guess is that while men may be quite comfortable with restraining women, many women have little if any interest in restraining men. Oh, I know they're out there and all the lore that the men who are most "take-charge" like bondage the most, but in terms of sheer numbers and the women willing to actively DO the tying up?
Not possible to know for the OP's particular situation.
I keed, I keed! The earlier the better, though. You could just try to meet on FetLife if it wasn't completely worthless and full of couples and (mainly) female doms looking for a buck... the Donald Trumps of the kink world.
"Light" bondage lover on fetlife? I wouldn't recommend going down that rabbit hole without being prepared. I consider light bondage to be vanilla with sprinkles. Its definitely more mainstream, thanks to 50 shades.
Tell them FAST. I have dated several males (back when) who seemed up my alley until one stated he was into feet and another (gorgeous man btw) stated he would adore having an encounter with "several midgets at once".
I was VERY glad to learn of these proclivities after just a few dates and prior to any intimate contact; much time wasting was thus avoided. I would've been super annoyed had they waited until later into the relationship to tell me.
All this stuff is a hard hard pass for me. I would mention it from the get go. Like shaking someone’s hand. Be like hello my name is Ron it’s nice to meet you and I like being tied to a bed post.
I prefer getting that kind of information out of the way right up front. I strongly advise anyone who is kinky to get on Fetlife, look for munches and events in your area, and get into a community if you can. Not only is it a great way (if you're patient and don't expect an instant-partner--nobody is gonna assign you one or anything!) to meet other kinky people and find a partner, more importantly you learn how to do your thing in ways that won't result in permanent injuries or death.
Because nobody really wants to go to the hospital, or jail, for any of this stuff.
And if you think that rope and "tie-up" play is light and harmless, you're completely utterly wrong. Statistically, and I mean among people who are apt to play with knives, needles, fire, hot wax, electricity, and a host of other seemingly hazardous things, ROPE is the single most dangerous thing resulting in the most injuries and deaths. You can easily cause permanent nerve damage with a cute little game of "tie me up" if you don't know what you're doing. Most communities have extensive rope workshops and classes and such, so people learn how to do it right. At least enough so as not to be a danger to themselves and others.
When I started getting into the kink scene, I was still on OK Cupid at the time, and I put it right out there on my profile, "Hey, I'm getting into the local BDSM community and strongly prefer to date partners who are at least willing to explore it and attend events with me." Not getting all into WHAT kinks I have, if I friended someone on Fet they could see that there, no need to be explicit, but just letting people know...I'm not vanilla, and I won't be wanting to date vanilla.
I got a lot of stupidity in messages because of that, like the young f-boys who were like, "Yeah...you're a freak, I'm a freak too I like to do it in the park" idiocy but they were easy to brush off (kinda funny sometimes even) and I felt it was worth it to put the disclosure out there. Muggles need not apply...
OP said he was only into the light play...Which i assume is him strapping someone to the bed post as opposed to practicing shibari. I don't think its necessary to join Fet unless he really wants to really explore kink, there's a huge difference between someone who wants to re-enact scenes from 50 shades and those that want to embrace the bdsm lifestyle.
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