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Old 01-06-2019, 09:54 AM
 
78 posts, read 32,715 times
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Or how do you talk about it ? This is sooo awkward !

I like playing tie up, sure its pretty much mainstream now but I feel totally awkward typing this in even with the anonymity of the internet. I was very lucky that past partners were into it too, in fact with one we used to always argue about whos turn it was.

We are supposed to keep it PG 13 lets try, the topic is about telling a partner your kinks and how to go about it cause I think its important cause the relationship won't work if one person wants to engage in activity and the other doesn't that will just lead to resentments.
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Old 01-06-2019, 11:41 AM
 
4,696 posts, read 1,418,054 times
Reputation: 6510
I'm not into that stuff, so I'd want to know ASAP if the other person was.
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Old 01-06-2019, 11:52 AM
 
Location: The cupboard under the sink
3,945 posts, read 7,545,226 times
Reputation: 7729
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Old 01-06-2019, 11:56 AM
 
Location: The cupboard under the sink
3,945 posts, read 7,545,226 times
Reputation: 7729
However, if it doesn't get locked, and the OP's question has any real point, IMHO, tell them fairly quickly. Anything non-vanilla is a dealbreaker for many
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Old 01-06-2019, 12:09 PM
 
Location: Hockey Rulez, Texas
779 posts, read 250,289 times
Reputation: 1225
I would think - if they say "no" - would that be a deal breaker for you.

I think that unless what you want is REALLY weird... Or, if you just cannot do anything without always incorporating your kink - it would be best to wait a few months. When the other person is comfortable with you, and you have some report - THEN you can say what you would like to do.

I'd think the other person would be willing to try once they know you a while and can tell that you aren't some weird person (in their eyes)
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Old 01-06-2019, 12:21 PM
 
Location: In the Pearl of the Purchase, Ky
7,410 posts, read 12,940,514 times
Reputation: 30947
Quote:
Originally Posted by SpaceTraveller View Post

I like playing tie up, ...
Any time I hear tying up mentioned I keep thinking of a TV show I watched where one of the stars met a woman who liked being tied up. He already had tied her arms to the bed then she told him she had more rope in her car to tie up her feet. As he ran out the door to get rope, the door shut, and locked behind him. lol
I think I'd like to know right off the bat.
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Old 01-06-2019, 12:23 PM
 
Location: Central IL
15,201 posts, read 8,513,923 times
Reputation: 35600
Quote:
Originally Posted by MisterShipWreck View Post
I would think - if they say "no" - would that be a deal breaker for you.

I think that unless what you want is REALLY weird... Or, if you just cannot do anything without always incorporating your kink - it would be best to wait a few months. When the other person is comfortable with you, and you have some report - THEN you can say what you would like to do.

I'd think the other person would be willing to try once they know you a while and can tell that you aren't some weird person (in their eyes)
I dunno...maybe it is only semantics but it seems that once someone calls something "a kink" then it is incorporated a lot. And once it is then sex starts to feel like it's all all about the kink and not about me as a person. So I guess I don't know how low profile a kink can be and then if it is not met with some frequency they'll go elsewhere for it. I'm sure SSpork will weigh in with something helpful.
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Old 01-06-2019, 12:24 PM
 
Location: La lune et les étoiles
17,611 posts, read 19,033,833 times
Reputation: 18918
Quote:
Originally Posted by SpaceTraveller View Post
Or how do you talk about it ? This is sooo awkward !

I like playing tie up, sure its pretty much mainstream now but I feel totally awkward typing this in even with the anonymity of the internet. I was very lucky that past partners were into it too, in fact with one we used to always argue about whos turn it was.

We are supposed to keep it PG 13 lets try, the topic is about telling a partner your kinks and how to go about it cause I think its important cause the relationship won't work if one person wants to engage in activity and the other doesn't that will just lead to resentments.
Define "kinky"
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Old 01-06-2019, 12:28 PM
 
Location: Florida
19,784 posts, read 19,886,317 times
Reputation: 23202
If it's something you really can't do without, mention it as soon as the topic of sex comes up even if you have to allude to it some way.
I would gather many couples do have onesided non-negotiables which they can either work around or even discuss after the relationship is better established.

But if something is "Never, no way" or "I absolutely need" then sooner than later.
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Old 01-06-2019, 12:34 PM
 
Location: Florida
19,784 posts, read 19,886,317 times
Reputation: 23202
I have agreed to a first time meet with someone I've been talking to online. He did 'mention' something I'm not at all sure I'm interested in but I'm willing to listen, consider how much of that is just me and inexperience with it or if it's a "Sorry, Charlie" as well as his reaction.
This is the 'sooner than later" aspect.
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