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You’re going to get two lines of thought on this subject
1) if it’s affecting your partner, it’s affecting your marriage
2) people are individuals and should be allowed to do what they want regardless of status.
I can’t tell you what you should do, it’s your choose and live how you see fit. I can tell you in marriage I personally see things more in line with number one. You may not be married yet, however you have made your intentions known that this is what you want.
Your issue in particular is one that has left you feeling misdirected by your partner, THIS aspect needs to be addressed.
When I was single, there was a time when I have a FWB type relationship with Laura. As I was courting another girl [Bonnie] at about the time when I asked Bonnie to marry me, we got into a conversation regarding other girls I was dating. Bonnie asked me to drop Laura before she would agree to marry me.
That was 37 years ago.
I think it is appropriate for a fiance to ask you to drop all other girlfriends.
No. I don't think it is appropriate to expect them to drop long term friendships (intimate nor platonic). It is however appropriate for them to honor the agreements made with their future wife/husband. They wouldn't be the person they are without them... you are asking them to change who they are... and attempt to erase the past that made them the person that stands before you.
Not really your place per se to tell him who he can associate with. All you can do is let him know whether or not it makes you uncomfortable. It's on him, what he does next. You can't control other people, you can only control yourself.
Thank you!
Like telling the ocean how to act. Not gunna happen.
I wouldn't worry about it in the least. Either you trust him or you should break it off now. I have never once asked my DH about past relationships and he has never asked me. If you can't trust him to keep the past in the past then you shouldn't marry him. He may not have mentioned it because he didn't want drama with you or because she is just totally irrelevant to him now.
You also could ask your fiance if he would have a problem with you asking his old FWB if she would not call/text him every time she needed to whine about boyfriend issues. But do remember that he is choosing to marry you and this woman is 10 years past. I don't see how you can feel her a threat.
Lol I'd be petty and invite all my exs to the wedding jk. But in all seriousness why didn't he mention it until now? And who describes someone they've previously had sex with as basically a brother or sister? When i eas in hs it was common for promiscuous girls to say "omg he's like a brother to meee" then it turns out they were fcking lol Red flags everywhere lol
The fact that he didn't tell you for 10 years is what would personally bother me the most. I consider that lying by omission especially if they still talk or hang out? I mean id they never talked or saw each other this would be different obviously lol
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