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Old 01-20-2019, 12:19 PM
 
252 posts, read 88,500 times
Reputation: 169

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Well, not sure where to start. My boyfriend and I broke up after a disastrous date. I took my things from his house. He texted me how he loved me and wanted to marry me etc. His mom called me. I pretty much ignored and he showed up at my place. He kept trying to hug me. I didn't want to look at him but I sat on the sofa with him and let him put his arms around me. I also let him come back the following night and we did have sex and basically got back together.
In the morning I told him let's trade phones. I wanted to see if anyone suspicious would call or text , he had mentioned someone else interested in him prior and admitted he took her number and did not say he had a girlfriend.
We traded phones , no hesitation on his part though he didn't like it of course. When I got mine back , he had erased the locations he had been on Google maps over the weekend. From the map that was still there, it looked as though he has been to an apartment and a house , both of which places I'm unfamiliar with.
When I went to see him after the weekend, he did not have sex with me. No one initiated , I never do and apparently he noticed because he complained about it a couple nights later when we were on the phone. He had other complaints about our sex life too. I thought it was a constructive conversation, I wasn't offended. He has been working 2 weeks straight and I complained about the lack of time , he has promised to change this. He offered to come over and I said it was ok (we live 40+miles apart) and that I would go to his house the following night. He had asked prior to that plan if I would clean for him. I said I would help him clean his house.
When I got there, the house was the cleanest I've seen it. He denies his mom cleaned it , said he did. He was also high and wanted to go buy more weed , he has a prescription. I said ok , trying not to fight. (Not at all my thing , not my idea of a fun Saturday night.) He said let me clean my car before you get in. When we got in the garage, he says "you're always looking around suspucious" which is true. I did initiate sex later that night and he said he was tired. There were no condoms missing or anything , I checked because we've never gone that long without sex.
In the morning we fought and it came out he thought I did something to over draft his account (I absolutely did not. I have helped him pay bills but I do not have access to his bank , he over drafts often. He also told his mom I did that. . .) I said why did you not tell me that you assumed that?! I was leaving because for the third time he said , "go find someone else" which is his standard answer if I complain these days. So I started to go , he told me to leave his key and I did. When I went outside he followed and I ended up back inside. He said he would work half a day today and come over and spend time with me afterwards. He had also said he knew I'd go online right away and so he would too to forget about me. (This was when I gave back the key)
I'm starting to think he already has someone else , these are a lot of cheating signs from what I understand. I went back with him but now I'm starting to really be suspicious. I know we need to at the very least take a break. Please share with me your thoughts , I just had to get this out of my head.
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Old 01-20-2019, 12:33 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
43,169 posts, read 41,773,101 times
Reputation: 82904
Is this the boyfriend with the ex’s pots and pans?
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Old 01-20-2019, 01:05 PM
 
252 posts, read 88,500 times
Reputation: 169
Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle View Post
Is this the boyfriend with the exís pots and pans?
No lol I forgot all about that. That boyfriend was cheating and married the person he cheated on me with. Not sure where the pots and pans went ~I suspect in the garbage . . .
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Old 01-20-2019, 01:14 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
43,169 posts, read 41,773,101 times
Reputation: 82904
Does this sound fun at all???


Quote:
Originally Posted by Idkeither View Post

I took my things from his house.

I pretty much ignored ...

I didn't want to look at him ...

I wanted to see if anyone suspicious would call or text...

... he didn't like it of course.

... he had erased the locations he had been ...

...he did not have sex with me.

No one initiated , I never do ...

...he complained about it

... I complained about the lack of time ...

... trying not to fight.

... he says "you're always looking around suspucious" which is true.

... I checked because we've never gone that long without sex.

In the morning we fought...

... for the third time he said , "go find someone else"

... I'm starting to really be suspicious.
Y'all are trapped in a cycle of pettiness and distrust.

I have no idea why you still hang around each other as you clearly don't love each other. And you're in your late 40s/50s, correct?

Just end it once and for all so you can think straight.
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Old 01-20-2019, 01:21 PM
 
252 posts, read 88,500 times
Reputation: 169
He is late 30s I'm mid 40s. Agreed a lot of pettiness. I was surprised he didn't trust me with bank stuff. I don't think he thinks I cheat or anything.
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Old 01-20-2019, 01:32 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
43,169 posts, read 41,773,101 times
Reputation: 82904
Quote:
Originally Posted by Idkeither View Post
He is late 30s I'm mid 40s. Agreed a lot of pettiness. I was surprised he didn't trust me with bank stuff. I don't think he thinks I cheat or anything.
No reasonable, intelligent, considerate person would randomly accuse you of "overdrafting" his bank account, especially when he knows you don't have access to it.

All this suspicion and talk about cheating? Just stay away from him. It's not worth it.
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Old 01-20-2019, 02:54 PM
 
Location: Planet Earth, USA
1,645 posts, read 1,786,445 times
Reputation: 3324
I thought you guys were in your 20s.

Guy is a loser. Walk away.
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Old 01-20-2019, 03:07 PM
 
Location: X marks the spot
692 posts, read 236,501 times
Reputation: 1189
Quote:
Originally Posted by behindthescreen View Post
I thought you guys were in your 20s.

Guy is a loser. Walk away.
Thatís funny I too was thinking they were a young couple. OP why are you cleaning his house? Heís a grown man let him pay someone to clean.
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Old 01-20-2019, 03:10 PM
 
252 posts, read 88,500 times
Reputation: 169
I didn't clean , said I'd help and with him working so much , I was suspicious because it was so clean. You have time to clean , but not so much quality time for me . . .
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Old 01-20-2019, 03:15 PM
 
Location: California Bay Area
339 posts, read 102,003 times
Reputation: 478
It doesn't matter whether he's cheating or not. You don't trust him regardless, nor do you seem to get along with him. If I were you I'd get out of this relationship before it keeps you unavailable any longer.
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