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Well, you have been together for an over decade now, so maybe they are just frustrated with the lack of marriage, living in a "sin", religious differences and/or perhaps they don't view you as a desirable prospect. Some Jewish people can be very traditional and conservative. Did you discussed religious matters with your GF?
Obviously they don't respect you much or accept you as a future family member.
Their behavior could be a way they think will discourage you from marry your GF.
Hey Elnina, they are Jewish by heritage but not so much religion. They are not too intense in that regard.
Do you and the gf have the option of moving away? keeping family interactions to a minimum? If i was in your situation i would leave, I would not want future children to grow up in that kind of family, I could see them rough housing with your sons and continuing to belittle you in front of them.
Elly thanks for reading and responding.
Yes, I do have the ability to do that, but at the same time, all my family is in this town also and I don't want to leave like that.
The thought about my future kids is what really got me thinking about it. Will they mess with them, will they try to make me appear weak in their eyes, will they use the kids as leverage? Most likely considering current course.
Who knows. If you actually DO leave and tell her why, it might be the wake up call she needs. She can't have it both ways...stand up to the abusive family or lose her partner.
Yes, I do have the ability to do that, but at the same time, all my family is in this town also and I don't want to leave like that.
The thought about my future kids is what really got me thinking about it. Will they mess with them, will they try to make me appear weak in their eyes, will they use the kids as leverage? Most likely considering current course.
So even if you did break up, would you still see the family around town? I guess in that instance you can press charges.
The future kids would be a huge concern for me, they already don't respect you, what makes you think they will change in front of your kids. Kids mimic what is around them. My in-laws used to disregard my parenting style, when my kids were young they felt like they didn't have to listen to me either, i ended up having to be a lot stricter just to undo what they allowed, i don't think it was fair to them but i didn't want to raise spoiled brats.
So even if you did break up, would you still see the family around town? I guess in that instance you can press charges.
The future kids would be a huge concern for me, they already don't respect you, what makes you think they will change in front of your kids. Kids mimic what is around them. My in-laws used to disregard my parenting style, when my kids were young they felt like they didn't have to listen to me either, i ended up having to be a lot stricter just to undo what they allowed, i don't think it was fair to them but i didn't want to raise spoiled brats.
Yes to question one. Yeah, exactly to point number 2. This is my primary concern. Because right now I've limited seeing them to 2 times a year. I'm trying to whittle it down to 1 time a year, but if we have kids, they are going to force themselves into our lives.
Family is not important to me. I think it's important to her.
The point is, you said...…
"My girlfriend isn't being very supportive. She doesn't really take up for me or set boundaries."
Isn't that telling you that family isn't just important to her, but more important than you?
If, and it shouldn't ever have to happen, but it does, you make her choose, which do you think she'd give up on? The family or you?
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