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I know people won't generally agree with this, but I would use the scare tactic.
I would honestly call that dude up and ask him why he's calling your wife at late hours or even go to his house, but I don't know...that might be pushing it as it might turn to violence right away.
Just call him and punk him over the phone.
Hahahahahaha that's idiotic.
This isn't a TV show about high-schoolers.
The other guy doesn't matter. This is an issue to be sorted between husband and wife. If you have to resort to threats or ape-like behavior to "keep your woman in check," your marriage is done for anyway.
Your wife has shown she’s incapable of being truthful, you should be concerned.
Her word is about as good as dirt when it comes to actual answers surrounding this. until it’s addressed with honesty there really isn’t much you can do as far as a course correction is concerned.
You have to tell her what you need from her. She’s not going to offer it to you while this type of relation is ongoing.
somehow let him know you exist...visit your wife at work when shes there..
im on the fence with this...because if she's great overall....she should have earned your trust and respect...
however,,,,, ive seen innocent attention spiral out of control too many times..
IF something is really going on....he wouldn't be texting at night.....that's just dumb.. and IF something is going on....she has at least told him...you are on to it. and he should back off..
again....if shes been great overall...id probly believe her .....he's being a dick.....but she has to tell him to back off
give her a date night ...be very nice and the only thing you mention of this is.....you love her too much and you will be like a male lion protecting his lioness.....
tell her its not jealousy or controlling its your frustration you cant do what you want and that's to directly deal with him....
Thanks everyone for posting some good insight both ways.
So I dropped in discreetly at his site. Felt like a personal visit would be more effective. I introduced myself and told him I wasn’t cool with his text messages. Didn’t do it at his home because he’s married He said he wasn’t pursuing my wife mentions he does group texts. I told him I didn’t care for his after work personal messages to my wife. I told him I understand messages to co workers about work but I don’t tolerate my wife receiving messages after work hours. Wife and I have never brought work home.
I was firm, direct non-confrontational. The basic tone was the actions were not acceptable to me and I’m not cool with it on my wife. Do what you want not her to judge but not with my wife.
The wife hasn’t mentioned anything so it appears nothing was said to her.
Going to plan a date night.
I trust her I think this guy doesn’t pick up on social cues. Wife is now telling me she can’t believe I didn’t trust her she waited her life for me and wouldn’t jeopardize anything for it. Now I’m feeling real bad
Thanks everyone for posting some good insight both ways.
So I dropped in discreetly at his site. Felt like a personal visit would be more effective. I introduced myself and told him I wasn’t cool with his text messages. Didn’t do it at his home because he’s married He said he wasn’t pursuing my wife mentions he does group texts. I told him I didn’t care for his after work personal messages to my wife. I told him I understand messages to co workers about work but I don’t tolerate my wife receiving messages after work hours. Wife and I have never brought work home.
I was firm, direct non-confrontational. The basic tone was the actions were not acceptable to me and I’m not cool with it on my wife. Do what you want not her to judge but not with my wife.
The wife hasn’t mentioned anything so it appears nothing was said to her.
Going to plan a date night.
I trust her I think this guy doesn’t pick up on social cues. Wife is now telling me she can’t believe I didn’t trust her she waited her life for me and wouldn’t jeopardize anything for it. Now I’m feeling real bad
You did the right thing, but stay vigilant. This isn't over. Trust but verify. Your wife has lied to you, that I can guarantee.
Hopefully you nipped it in the bud. I think it's premature to say that your wife is cheating. She has terrible boundaries, but tha t doesn't make her a cheater.
I hate to be that person, but if your wife is really having “that type” of relationship for this long with someone outside of the house she’s not likely to just drop it because you made yourself known to someone.
If I was some dude screwing around with some guys wife and was told to stop it by the husband I would laugh it off and just keep on keeping on with it. The only thing that matters is the wife is still allowing it.
This begins and ends with the wife, The dude is just some dude. the wife is the point of allowance.
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