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It's as if you've extracted part of 'my life,' and shared it with everyone. Unfortunately, this story has a bad ending for you! As everyone has already said, 1) Start collecting evidence; 2) Consult with an attorney; 3) Plan for divorce, it's coming! Don't be like I and others have been, hopelessly optimistic, and gaslighted! It's over!!!
It's as if you've extracted part of 'my life,' and shared it with everyone. Unfortunately, this story has a bad ending for you! As everyone has already said, 1) Start collecting evidence; 2) Consult with an attorney; 3) Plan for divorce, it's coming! Don't be like I and others have been, hopelessly optimistic, and gaslighted! It's over!!!
.....but take Pilot's advice before the inevitable.
*see post at top of page
No other posters here seem to be serious about this at all. This is a VERY HORRENDOUS situation & you need to do something about it ASAP. So you married a party girl who seemed to have this best friend way before she knew you, right? She obviously wasn't ready to be a wife & mother. The part about them kissing each other is horrendous. Your wife must be a closeted lesbian or at least bisexual...why else would she do that? No straight, wholesome wife & mother should even care to do that.
You must have known of her wild ways when you 1st met her. A person can't hide that much of their lifestyle w/o anyone knowing. This is a very legit cause for divorce if she doesn't straighten up fast, but I doubt she'll change now. SHe obviously has way too much time on her hands & like they say, idle hands are the devil's workshop...IF the person has the mind to do things like that.
Here's all the dangerous risks she's bringing to you & your children:
- diseases into the house by getting drunk & not knowing what she's even doing herself
- diseases also by kissing this best friend & God knows where her mouth has been. She probably sucks d-ck, other women's cooch & every other nasty thing under the sun & here your wife comes along kissing her.
For all you know, YOUR OWN wife is doing these things too, having orgies, etc. After all, they're drunk & wild, they don't even know what they're doing!
- wreckless other behavior causing herself injury or worse, like drinking & driving in which your kids won't have a mother anymore
- attracting dangerous people to her life & home. She's not dealing w/ upstanding individuals here. What if she meets some seedy people who think she crossed them, so they seek revenge. People out there are crazy & your stupid wife isn't thinking of anyone but herself.
Then, you kiss her at home, she kisses your kids goodnight, using utencils, plates, etc. If I were you, I'd get tested for AIDS & all the other STDs NOW!!!
I have no doubt that someone like your wife has probably cheated on you who knows how many times. You better protect yourself & your kids! She doesn't deserve to be a mother.
If she is like my ex, the more you try to make her "get right," the worse you are making it for yourself. She could be plotting with her friend already about leaving you and sticking it to you in the process. Its unbelievable how they can turn it back at you...and succeed in court doing it. In that situation, I could not believe after all my "good deeds" that she could punish me so with lie after lie. The court can be pathetic do you cannot always count on them to do you right. The nerve to bite the hand that feeds them by going to the depths they can and often do is disturbing and despicable.
If you back off, collect evidence, document, trying to not to not care is the hard part. See what happens.
Other thoughts:
Which is best for the kids among the possible outcomes?
Set up hidden cameras and/or hire a PI if possible (especially for monitoring times you are not around).
I am sorry to say that you sound like me: basically a good guy getting taken for a ride. Looking back do you see red flags you overlooked? I sure did.
It's on you to get a good lawyer, to anticipate her arguments, and to present your case, if your SO has cheated on you. The court responds to the arguments and evidence presented. Make sure you have your ducks in a row.
This goes for you, too, OP. I hope you'll set up a meeting with a lawyer next week, to find out what you need to do to protect yourself financially to the extent possible, and to obtain evidence and start a file.
So sorry it's even necessary to say this; you may not have even contemplated this yet, when you started your thread. But she's not behaving like someone, who's open to reconciling.
No other posters here seem to be serious about this at all. This is a VERY HORRENDOUS situation & you need to do something about it ASAP. So you married a party girl who seemed to have this best friend way before she knew you, right? She obviously wasn't ready to be a wife & mother. The part about them kissing each other is horrendous. Your wife must be a closeted lesbian or at least bisexual...why else would she do that? No straight, wholesome wife & mother should even care to do that.
You must have known of her wild ways when you 1st met her.
I'd like to hear from the OP about this. We don't know if this has been going on for the entire 9 years of the marriage, or if it's a more recent development. Has the OP been blindsided by this, or were there signs back when they were dating and engaged? Or did she claim to have matured out of her party days, as their relationship got serious and led to marriage?
I'd like to hear back from the OP too (& often, they don't reply back). It doesn't even matter whether she knew him longer or her best friend longer. It's just a terrible situation NOW & the OP needs to put his foot down, everyone in the household needs to be tested, vaccinated, checked out for their own health, etc. He needs to divorce her honestly. It's obvious all this isn't sudden behavior of hers...it's over the course of time.
I'm a female. I wouldn't dare want my husband to have a wild buddy doing God knows what, kissing each other, etc. while I'm am work slaving away, earning money for our family!
OP seems to have very bad judgment about who he picks as a mate OR he was just as wild at 1st & has settled down when he got married but she hasn't at all obviously. Still, a leopard doesn't change his or her spots. When a certain lifestyle is such a HUGE part of one's life, no use even getting into a relationship w/ them when it doesn't coincide w/ yours. So OP, don't be surprised that she's like this because she was probably like this when you met & married her.
I'd like to hear back from the OP too (& often, they don't reply back). It doesn't even matter whether she knew him longer or her best friend longer. It's just a terrible situation NOW & the OP needs to put his foot down, everyone in the household needs to be tested, vaccinated, checked out for their own health, etc.
I'm a female. I wouldn't dare want my husband to have a wild buddy doing God knows what, kissing each other, etc. while I'm am work slaving away, earning money for our family!
OP seems to have very bad judgment about who he picks as a mate OR he was just as wild & has settled down when he got married & she didn't. Still, a leopard doesn't change his or her spots. When a certain lifestyle is such a HUGE part of one's life, no use even getting into a relationship w/ them when it doesn't coincide w/ yours.
Yes, true. I wasn't knocking your post; some similar things crossed my mind upon reading the OP, but I chose not to go there. It's good that someone did, though; it's a concerning scenario. The poor OP may be very depressed, at this point.
Tell her you are attracted to the girlfriend, and that you want a threesome. That will fix it.
Diabolical! Unfortunately, that would backfire on him in court. Do not doubt, that she would trot that out for the judge. The OP will be busy enough, filming his wife coming home drunk, and gathering other evidence. His best suit is to play the chocked and emotionally-devastated victim, concerned about the bad example being set for the kids.
OP, be sure to ask the lawyer about full custody of your kids. They'll need a stable parent. I'm sorry it's come to this.
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This is a VERY HORRENDOUS situation & you need to do something about it ASAP. So you married a party girl who seemed to have this best friend way before she knew you, right? She obviously wasn't ready to be a wife & mother. The part about them kissing each other is horrendous. Your wife must be a closeted lesbian or at least bisexual...why else would she do that? No straight, wholesome wife & mother should even care to do that.
