My wife staying up late (relations, reason, brother, like)
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Well she doesn't even say when she'll be home. No she doesn't do much around the house it's mostly neglected and she only works part time. She works 10 miles away.
OP, you've given us very little info to go on. I'm not sure there's anything to be concerned about, going on. More info needed.
How is the relationship, otherwise? Does this going out after work for an hour, and sometimes staying out much later, represent a recent change?
What about the housekeeping: has it always been like that, or has there been a change? Do you contribute to the organizing, or do you contribute to the disorganization?
I don't understand about her work schedule, could you explain? She only works part-time, but goes out after work with co-worker/s regularly? What kind of a part-time schedule does she have?
More info needed. Why so parsimonious with the facts? You only told us in post #30, at the end of page 3, that you're in a wheelchair? And that she's nearly 20 years older than you? Usually people outline that stuff in the first post. It's hard for us to give advice, when the facts come out in dribs and drabs, just saying.
Last edited by Ruth4Truth; 02-04-2019 at 10:09 AM..
OP, you've given us very little info to go on. I'm not sure there's anything to be concerned about, going on. More info needed.
How is the relationship, otherwise? Does this going out after work for an hour, and sometimes staying out much later, represent a recent change?
What about the housekeeping: has it always been like that, or has there been a change? Do you contribute to the organizing, or do you contribute to the disorganization?
I don't understand about her work schedule, could you explain? She only works part-time, but goes out after work with co-worker/s regularly? What kind of a part-time schedule does she have?
More info needed.
And where is your 10-year-old child in all of this?
OP if I had to guess by all the information that you are not giving, the tiny bits and pieces you give after at least two people ask you point blank and then the fact that you title turns out to be completely inaccurate in that she's not your wife and your complaint isn't her being gone but in her not cleaning the house I'd say she's sick of being in the house with you and would rather be anywhere else. If you communicate as poorly with her as you do a bunch of strangers who you ask for advice then I feel sorry for her. More than that I feel sorry for the kids in witnessing such a backwards relationship. You say you've been together "a long time" but I don't even know what that means since staying out late means anywhere from 1 hour to 5. I guess we could assume you've been together at least as long as the child is old but assuming had already gotten your wife blamed for all sorts of infidelities when you aren't even giving all the facts. Please tell me this is a made up story by some bored kid who's had too many snow days lately.
Post #1: I don't know what she's doing when she's out and about. She says she's with friends or at work but I'm not so sure. How can I get it through to her that this is not ok?
#2: No it's her who is staying out late.
#3: Sometimes it's very late and sometimes it's about an hour after work.
#4: Well she doesn't even say when she'll be home. No she doesn't do much around the house it's mostly neglected and she only works part time. She works 10 miles away.
#5: Yes that's the problem. I never thought for a moment that she was cheating. It's the house. It's messy and disorganized.
#6: She has plenty of time to do it but she prefers being out, who knows where.
#7: I have told her many times that it's not fair to neglect the house while I'm working 50 hours a week and she only works 20, and some of that time she works at home. Also I'm in a wheelchair while she is perfectly able to do what needs to be done. I tell her this all the time.
#8: I'm 37, she's 56. We have 1 kid. Also I have 2 other kids from someone else.
#9: He's 10.
#10: We're not married. But I've been with her a long time.
That's all we know from this wordsmooth poster - a bunch of one-liners that make little sense. How anyone can answer that?
OP, you are going to elaborate, or this thread will be closed. It's a waste of time... You are definitely not word smooth. You need to learn how to communicate - online and in real life.
If he can't even use the correct term between wife & girlfriend/live-in lover of ___ amount of time, etc., etc., etc., then I don't know.........
So since this is a live-in girlfriend, then sure, you can still do what I said in post #49 or if you're just fed up & want to be done, break up w/ her, simple as that.
If he can't even use the correct term between wife & girlfriend/live-in lover of ___ amount of time, etc., etc., etc., then I don't know.........
So since this is a live-in girlfriend, then sure, you can still do what I said in post #49 or if you're just fed up & want to be done, break up w/ her, simple as that.
True. OP, since you're not married, you don't have to work it out. You can walk out, or boot her out. Who's taking care of the 2 kids by a different mom? Are they in your household? If you're not married, and you break up, you might lose the 10-year-old; there will be no judge to enforce shared custody, or whatever arrangement. But if you have custody of the other 2, custody won't be an issue in the breakup.
Is there a reason you'd want to stay coupled up to your partner? You've given us so little info to go on, we don't know what to make of this.
TPost #1: I don't know what she's doing when she's out and about. She says she's with friends or at work but I'm not so sure. How can I get it through to her that this is not ok?
#5: Yes that's the problem. I never thought for a moment that she was cheating. It's the house. It's messy and disorganized.
I'm calling BS on this poster.
1) Thread title references his wife, then he says it's not his wife
2) Thread title is about his wife staying up late, then says his actual issue is she isn't cleaning the house
You don't know how to clean and organize? How did she live before you were married? If she was never tidy and organized you can't expect her to change.
Sure I do but as I said I'm in a wheelchair plus I'm out of the house for over 50 hours per week. She has plenty of time to keep the place tidy and clean but she's not doing what is required.
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