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Problem is I want kids, I want a family (when the time is right obviously).
l was the worst dog l knew when l was younger but when the right girl comes along it helps a lot. lf your content and happy with her .
50s now and it's mostly faded away because not only am l sick of most women but most don't look anywhere near as good as they use to these days so the temptations are less and less.
So there ya go , 20 or 30yrs time you'll be fine.
I don't think there is anything wrong... you are just being human. That's not going to change... period.. it may just wane down but many will always find others attractive.
The key here is what do you do with that attraction.... just like love... you don't get to choose. But you certainly get to choose what you do with it. Monogamy and such is a social construct. You have to find someone so important to you that the feeling of loss or hurting that person far outweighs your curiosity for other women... accept it and have self control.
This is on point! You can always look at the menu. Hell, you can even fantasize about what the entrees on the menu taste like! Just make sure you don't order off the menu and make sure you're happy with what you ordered when you do!
Anyone that says they don't look at the entrees on the menu every so often is most likely a liar.
Doing it ALL the time, WHICH IS WHAT THE OP SAID, is absolutely not normal.
Not to be argumentative...
But
The OP didn't say he wasn't able to stop or doing it "ALL" the time. He prefaced with "Everytime I go out or go on vacation". I'd be concerned if he was at the office or similar and couldn't function because of the thoughts.... or if it drives him to do inappropriate things like masturbating in public.
Walk around on a nice warm day.... I bet for every skimpy wearing woman that is strolling down the street, there are dozens of men wondering "What if????" More if it is the beach.... where even less clothing is worn.
Some of the most abusive men I've crossed paths with have very shameful/self deprecating/suppressed views on sexuality....
How old are you OP?
Things like what you describe clam themselves with age.
You need to elaborate on what you meant about “wanting children” and where that fear coming from.
The relationships you make and hold define how bad or good your choices are within them, not the choices themselves. If monogamy isn't something you’re comfortable with do not seek out relationships with those who define theirs by it.
Just clarifying before someone reads this wrong...
OP wants a family with children. Not that he has a sexual desire for children.
Lol, yes.
I do not mean the OP desires romance from children.
It was towards his fear and trepidation surrounding his desire to have them while also wanting relationships with others.
I’m curious as to what is driving this fear for him.
I only brought up age because the way the OP described his thoughts it came off as a very young person who has yet to have really formed an identity.
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