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Just out of curiosity, are you familiar with this poster's history?
Like at all?
It's pretty clear where most people in here stand on this guy's situation.....you are one of (if not the only one) "playing devil's advocate." For what? I don't know. Sometimes I wonder if you make the types of posts you make because it's how you genuinely feel or you just want to go against the grain just to do it.
Just because he's "taking care of her," and helped her out in major parts of her life, DOES NOT give him the right play with her emotionally because he can't come to terms with who he is. It's like someone making excuses for an abuser because they pay the bills. It's sick. He's given this woman the impression that he is in a committed relationship with her and acting like he's into her, when he is in fact not. Sooner or later his baggage is going to come out and he will leave her in an even worse position than she is already in. Everyone deserves to be treated with respect, and if someone is saying they're going to commit, they need to be in it all the way. Expecting someone to commit to you and honor that commitment is in no way shape or form asking someone to be perfect. And claiming that the world isn't perfect does not excuse his actions. Just sayin.
At the end of the day, is she better off with the OP in her life or out of her life?
I'd argue for in her life.
Quote:
Originally Posted by redplum33
Nobody wants to comment on this?
What are you asking? Do you want recognition of your "astute" but contrarian opinion - I doubt you'll get it here as we have a pretty clear idea of the OP. Or are you just stirring the pot?
Just out of curiosity, are you familiar with this poster's history?
Like at all?
Yes, I am very familiar with his history. Are you? If you were, you'd know how badly her family treats her and that she has nobody else in her life. He has a lot of issues, but he's been there for her when she's needed someone.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Auraliea
It's pretty clear where most people in here stand on this guy's situation.....you are one of (if not the only one) "playing devil's advocate." For what? I don't know. Sometimes I wonder if you make the types of posts you make because it's how you genuinely feel or you just want to go against the grain just to do it.
I firmly stand by my comment that she is better off with the OP than without him.
And I'm not "playing devil's advocate".
Quote:
Originally Posted by Auraliea
Just because he's "taking care of her," and helped her out in major parts of her life, DOES NOT give him the right play with her emotionally because he can't come to terms with who he is.
No, it certainly doesn't. I never said it did.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Auraliea
It's like someone making excuses for an abuser because they pay the bills.
Ummm no. It's nothing like that at all. Not even remotely similar.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Auraliea
It's sick. He's given this woman the impression that he is in a committed relationship with her and acting like he's into her, when he is in fact not.
He is in a committed relationship with her.
As for being into her or not, he's stuck around for some reason. And he always says he loves her. I question that also based on some of his comments, but we don't know what's going on in his mind. Who are we to tell someone whether or not they love another person?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Auraliea
Sooner or later his baggage is going to come out and he will leave her in an even worse position than she is already in.
We don't know that.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Auraliea
Everyone deserves to be treated with respect, and if someone is saying they're going to commit, they need to be in it all the way.
I agree, but life rarely plays out like a fairy tale.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Auraliea
Expecting someone to commit to you and honor that commitment is in no way shape or form asking someone to be perfect. And claiming that the world isn't perfect does not excuse his actions. Just sayin.
I agree again. I never said it excused his actions. I simply said I believe her life is better with him in it - flaws and all.
Yes, I am very familiar with his history. Are you? If you were, you'd know how badly her family treats her and that she has nobody else in her life. He has a lot of issues, but he's been there for her when she's needed someone.
I firmly stand by my comment that she is better off with the OP than without him.
And I'm not "playing devil's advocate".
No, it certainly doesn't. I never said it did.
Ummm no. It's nothing like that at all. Not even remotely similar.
He is in a committed relationship with her.
As for being into her or not, he's stuck around for some reason. And he always says he loves her. I question that also based on some of his comments, but we don't know what's going on in his mind. Who are we to tell someone whether or not they love another person?
We don't know that.
I agree, but life rarely plays out like a fairy tale.
I agree again. I never said it excused his actions. I simply said I believe her life is better with him in it - flaws and all.
The OP has posted about ''Making out'' with another woman before, while still being in a relationship with this woman. So I really don't think he's gay.
Either way, his sexuality is irrelevant here. The OP has some serious issues, but his sexuality is irrelevant.
It’s completely relevant given the topic and things he’s said in past threads. I guess you could also ask what relevance the orientation of the “hookup” is — OP could have just said he hooked up with someone else without specifying that this person is trans. But he purposely made that point.
What are you asking? Do you want recognition of your "astute" but contrarian opinion - I doubt you'll get it here as we have a pretty clear idea of the OP. Or are you just stirring the pot?
If you're honest with yourself, I'm sure you'd recognize that he's not the monster that many here are making him out to be.
The OP has posted about ''Making out'' with another woman before, while still being in a relationship with this woman. So I really don't think he's gay.
I get where you were coming from though. When she couldn’t collect disability, and “oh she can’t get out alone, her parents live atop a mud hill” “I bring her to a parking lot to drive with inoperable legs” I kinda saw where this was going...
Often times (here) posters are given the impression / advice that they need to fix themself before they’ll ever have a happy relationship. As if relationships are reserved only for well-adjusted people with no lapses in judgement, who should only be thinking logically at all times.
Well who is that?
Some people are pretty messed up, they’re still out there going to work or riding the bus, or rehabilitating. They ask for advice, they’re the same people as your relatives or coworkers, only we know their deficits and shine a light on them.
You cheated! You drink! You have kids to think of! You’re unemployed! One time you said you did it with a man in May of 2013!
I’m not always being sarcastic when I say: Well you’re pretty even in negatives, it may ‘work’. Because that is reality.
He's bisexual. You don't understand what bisexual is?
That was exactly my point. The poster I was responding to seemed to be taking a shot at his sexuality by suggesting him having a girlfriend was just a cover up for him really being gay. I was pointing out that he has dated/been with other women before.
That was exactly my point. The poster I was responding to seemed to be taking a shot at his sexuality by suggesting him having a girlfriend was just a cover up for him really being gay. I was pointing out that he has dated/been with other women before.
Sorry, what you're saying still does not make sense. A bisexual person is both gay and heterosexual - a bisexual likes both gay sex and heterosexual sex. You seem to think there is not a gay component to being bisexual.
And saying a person is gay is NOT "taking a shot at one's sexuality" as you state it. You're assuming that being gay or liking gay sex is a 'shot' and an insult and is a demeaning category and a demeaning thing for a person to call another person. There is nothing wrong with being gay and in having gay male to male sex. It is not an insult to be gay or derogatory to be thought of as gay. And a male bisexual has gay sex male to male, and also has heterosexual sex with females.
Last edited by matisse12; 02-14-2019 at 02:18 AM..
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