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I have seen a guy a few times at some gigs I go to where there is a regular crowd, and ever since I saw him I had a massive crush on him. He talked a lot the first night and a few of my friends commented that they thought he found me attractive also because he kept looking, and he came back over to me at the end of the night to talk again.
After that night I added him on Facebook and he accepted. I saw him again at an event on Friday night and he saw me, introduced me to his friend and told the story of the last event (how we met etc), and when he saw me he literally looked me up and down and kept looking at me again like he did last time.
So I got really drunk that night and after I left I sent him a message. I was surprised at how put together it was, baring in mind I was hammered. I said that I’ve had eyes for him since the moment I saw him and i’d love to get coffee with him if he was interested. I then went on to say I didn’t want to make it awkward as we are going to be at the same events and if he didn’t feel the same there were no hard feelings. He replied back with “definitely not feeling uncomfortable, and I am truly flattered and love your straightforward approach, however, I’m taken.”
I thought his response was really nice and it could have been a lot worse, but now I feel absolutely mortified because I’m supposed to be going to an event on Saturday that he will be at; and I honestly feel at this point I can never go to any events again that involve that crowd.
I just have it in my head I totally embarrassed myself and he has probably told all his friends and it’s just not good and they probably just think of me now as totally cringe.
I also found his message of emphasis on truly flattered and loved my approach as encouraging, but I think he was probably just being nice because I put myself out there, and I now feel like a girl who hit on a guy with a gf (unintentionally).
I know this probably sounds trivial, but I feel so upset about it all I’ve been depressed for days.
I have seen a guy a few times at some gigs I go to where there is a regular crowd, and ever since I saw him I had a massive crush on him. He talked a lot the first night and a few of my friends commented that they thought he found me attractive also because he kept looking, and he came back over to me at the end of the night to talk again.
After that night I added him on Facebook and he accepted. I saw him again at an event on Friday night and he saw me, introduced me to his friend and told the story of the last event (how we met etc), and when he saw me he literally looked me up and down and kept looking at me again like he did last time.
So I got really drunk that night and after I left I sent him a message. I was surprised at how put together it was, baring in mind I was hammered. I said that I’ve had eyes for him since the moment I saw him and i’d love to get coffee with him if he was interested. I then went on to say I didn’t want to make it awkward as we are going to be at the same events and if he didn’t feel the same there were no hard feelings. He replied back with “definitely not feeling uncomfortable, and I am truly flattered and love your straightforward approach, however, I’m taken.”
I thought his response was really nice and it could have been a lot worse, but now I feel absolutely mortified because I’m supposed to be going to an event on Saturday that he will be at; and I honestly feel at this point I can never go to any events again that involve that crowd.
I just have it in my head I totally embarrassed myself and he has probably told all his friends and it’s just not good and they probably just think of me now as totally cringe.
I also found his message of emphasis on truly flattered and loved my approach as encouraging, but I think he was probably just being nice because I put myself out there, and I now feel like a girl who hit on a guy with a gf (unintentionally).
I know this probably sounds trivial, but I feel so upset about it all I’ve been depressed for days.
But you told him this:
" I didn’t want to make it awkward as we are going to be at the same events and if he didn’t feel the same there were no hard feelings."
SO ... hold up your end of the bargain, and get over yourself.
You didn't know he had a GF. You wouldn't want HIM to make it awkward, so don't make it awkward.
could have been worse....being hammered...at least you aren't on video giving him a lap dance..
brush it away …..its nothing too bad or serious...
just be yourself.... and like any meeting its good if you are attracted to someone but take it slow...you don't know anything about the guy..
I have said many things while drinking too much …. the sinking feeling you have is as much self criticism than this guy(it could have been much worse) ...meaning you may be a bit ashamed..... that's not such a bad thing.. because you may not allow yourself in that position again...
(to be totally hammered)
usually in those circumstances ...most others are in the same boat - and many cant even remember what was said ..let alone be responsible for it
all part of maturity learn from it ..don't beat yourself up about it
I would play it off and say something like "hey, that was said by Drunk Me, and not Sober Me, so this needs to be taken up with Drunk Me because honestly......Sober Me is just as surprised as you are!" lol
Just move on from it. You had no idea he is taken. There is nothing wrong with what you did. I would NOT tell him you were drunk. That would be more embarrassing and you would look like a fool and actually negate what you told him, which in reality, you really meant. Besides, you don't know how serious his relationship is. Should it end sometime in the future, he will know you are interested, so you just never know.
Hold your head up high, and be yourself around him like you were before the message.
In the future, no matter how drunk you get, try and tell your drunk self that you are not going to do these things until you are sober to make sure it's a good idea.
At least you had the guts to try, which is more than you can say for a lot of people, including a lot who post on here regularly. Instead of being mortified you should feel good about yourself that you took a chance and put yourself out there like that. And truly he isn't going around telling his friends that you messaged him. That's something us girls do! But guys are not gossipy with their friends like that so I guarantee he didn't even tell anyone that you messaged him.
You should just keep going to these shows regardless. And when you see him, don't act any differently than before. Just be like, "Hey Joe, how's it going! Awesome band tonight!" Act like nothing happened because you told him you wouldn't be weird about it.
Shrug it off and act like the text never happened.
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