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Asking if her meet-and-greets normally include dinner wouldn't be off-putting, depending on how it's done.
Why would he ask her that? It makes no sense. It wasn't a meet-and-greet, and he obviously asked her out to dinner. It was clearly a date that she didn't want to label as a date for whatever reason.
Perhaps she didn't want him to have sexual expectations afterwards? Who knows...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth
Her comment that it wasn't a date would have been off-putting to some guys, but she clearly wasn't worried about offending the person buying her dinner.
Why so much focus on him paying? Again, he asked her out to dinner.
Why would he ask her that? It makes no sense. It wasn't a meet-and-greet, and he obviously asked her out to dinner. It was clearly a date that she didn't want to label as a date for whatever reason.
Perhaps she didn't want him to have sexual expectations afterwards? Who knows...
Why so much focus on him paying? Again, he asked her out to dinner.
Because if it's not a date, then she shouldn't assume that he pay.
She's playing dumb. She wants all of the benefits of a date, without calling it a date.
Asking if her meet-and-greets normally include dinner wouldn't be off-putting, depending on how it's done. Her comment that it wasn't a date would have been off-putting to some guys, but she clearly wasn't worried about offending the person buying her dinner.
This, exactly. Mikala gets it.
I agree her reaction is off-putting and I personally would have asked for her definition of a date. If you can't ask another person a question, time to move on. The inability to ask a question is definitely an orange flag for me.
Where’s OP?
Since he hasn’t come back to clarify whether or not he paid fo her dinner, but let the thread continue in the direction of he paid for dinner, I have an additional question.
Your date said: “Ok I’m leaving then,” and she was just kidding. Presumably you had this conversation in the restaurant.
So she said it’s not a date, but you paid for her dinner anyway?
To answer the threads title: Should We Clarify First? You should. You state that this is the third time you’ve been in this position. That way there will be less promotion of the “Women just want a free meal” tales going around.
Don’t pay for someone’s dinner, even if you’re the one who invited them out to dinner, if you then are told: This is not a date.
Next time that you take her out, after the meal take out a quarter. When she says what are you doing? Then tell her since you're unsure of what anything is, you'll flip for the bill.
I bet you it'll be a date then.
If she argues, you tell her that you've talked to your co-workers and that they weren't sure if it was a date either.
Why would he ask her that? It makes no sense. It wasn't a meet-and-greet, and he obviously asked her out to dinner. It was clearly a date that she didn't want to label as a date for whatever reason.
Perhaps she didn't want him to have sexual expectations afterwards? Who knows...
Why so much focus on him paying? Again, he asked her out to dinner.
lol. Because her assumption that it wasn't a date makes no sense. Because he asked her out to dinner. Obviously. Yet still, somehow, she did still think it was a meet-and-greet (or said she did). Even though......as you say.....he was paying.
Where’s OP?
Since he hasn’t come back to clarify whether or not he paid fo her dinner, but let the thread continue in the direction of he paid for dinner, I have an additional question.
Your date said: “Ok I’m leaving then,” and she was just kidding. Presumably you had this conversation in the restaurant.
So she said it’s not a date, but you paid for her dinner anyway?
To answer the threads title: Should We Clarify First? You should. You state that this is the third time you’ve been in this position. That way there will be less promotion of the “Women just want a free meal” tales going around.
Don’t pay for someone’s dinner, even if you’re the one who invited them out to dinner, if you then are told: This is not a date.
Yup. She says, "a DATE?! No way, this was a meet-and-greet". You say, "oh, great! So you're paying for your dinner, right? It's a meet-and-greet."
OP, RbccL wants to know if you paid for her dinner. She feels the rest of us are making an assumption, only. What I'd like to know, is---is she hot? She must have something going for her, for you to politely and patiently overlook her odd remark, which some guys would have found off-putting.
Please come back to your thread, to answer the burning questions, that inquiring minds need the answers to.
To me, I can understand some of the confusion, depending on the verbiage you used. If you said something like "Hey, would you like to meet up and do blah blah blah", it MIGHT signal to her that this is not a date, it's 2 aquaintances (or just 2 people) meeting up. And it might imply that 'this' is just preliminary, and be prepared to pay my own way.
If you say something like "I'd like to take you out to do ************" that implies (to me) an actual date.
To me, I can understand some of the confusion, depending on the verbiage you used. If you said something like "Hey, would you like to meet up and do blah blah blah", it MIGHT signal to her that this is not a date, it's 2 aquaintances (or just 2 people) meeting up. And it might imply that 'this' is just preliminary, and be prepared to pay my own way.
If you say something like "I'd like to take you out to do ************" that implies (to me) an actual date.
Good point. It's not exactly clear how he approached it.
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Yet still, somehow, she did still think it was a meet-and-greet (or said she did). Even though......as you say.....he was paying.
No way, this was a meet-and-greet". You say, "oh, great! So you're paying for your dinner, right? It's a meet-and-greet."
