Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Maybe YOU pick up the women you date on the side of the street in some random fashion, but I don't and never have.
Almost snappy, you must try harder young one. I do tend to pick on you quite a bit, but I can't apologize for it, as a decent amount of your viewpoints and opinions seem to be antiquated from some storybook vision, usually from so far off in left field it...well..takes my breath away.
Actually, it wouldn't surprise me if it was a dating "method", roadkill romancing. Women seem to enjoy it, but only after a few years of marriage and kids, then backing over hubby in the driveway back and forth a few times.
Quote:
What I'm talking about is the usual situation of people starting relationships by first interacting through mutual friends, classes at school, work, church, or doing some other shared activity or common interest. Of meeting, their personalities clicking, then being friends first, then forming deeper feelings for each other. That's really the way that most people who aren't 8's, 9's or 10's in the looks department find friendship and love.
That was not the inferring of this:
Quote:
And I feel that it's much more likely that a woman will date a man in a wheelchair, than a man to date a woman in a wheelchair because women tend to have a kinder and more sympathetic heart, plus they have a strong nurturing instinct.
Not to mention the fact that how would that change anything? Still far more likely in reality with the same looks and personality that the woman would be far more easy to get dates in that situation again. The more usual initial reaction is pity at the onset from a woman, men simply don't care as much in this case. If anything, it might be a bonus, being able to say you popped a wheelie during sex in the park, gotta be a mental "man, that would be so cool!" to most in the back of their head. I don't think the wheelchair is even thought of for the average guy until it reaches the level of picking them up for a date somewhere.
Again, pity, compassion, and nurturing do not translate into love.
Might be a concept you're unfamiliar with, as you might have that need to care for thing that's characterized in House's best friend on TV, but that still doesn't create love. It just means you love to feel needed.
Last edited by Waynec613; 06-26-2009 at 11:59 AM..
I was in a truck wreck 22 yrs ago and have been paralyzed from the chest down since. Is being in a wheelchair that big of an issue with women? About 75% of the women I meet online stop talking when they find out I'm in a wheelchair. Seems like it's always the ones I really interested in too.
Being in a wheelchair hasnt slowed me down any. I have a college degree, job, pay taxes, own a small ranch. I'm new to this forum and thought it would be a good place to get women's thoughts on this.
have you tried dating websites, that are geared for the disabled?
maybe your chances would be higher if you dated women, who maybe are in wheelchair themselves or have other disabilities?
Also you may need to pursue trying to befriend women too, so they get to know you so do not make snap judgement based on your disabilities.
Ok, so we all are aware that he has found someone! Let's not put emphasize that he needs to find someone! The reason people respond on this site is to help each other realize that there are women and men out there who are willing to be with people in wheelchairs. I am not in a wheelchair myself, but I would and hope to be with a person who is in a wheelchair. Now, you are probably thinking what kind of a person I am to make such a comment. I have always been very fascinated by wheelchair sex and by wheelchair dancing, and I hope to experience it. Now, that does not mean that I want to be with the person for the wheelchair or disability. That simply is not the case here. What is the meaning behind my fascination is simply the feelings, and love each other can give. Wheelchair users know that there is more to them than sex and that they can give a lot more to a woman than an abled bodied man can. If you don't understand how, you are not in a wheelchair. Also, women do not necessarily want to be with a man in a wheelchair for pity. And if you do, shame on you! I would never pity a man in a wheelchair for I do not see the chair. Men in wheelchairs out there- Listen up- Many people on this site are speaking from too many view points. There are so many women out there that do not pity men in wheelchairs and are not scared to have wheelchair sex or to wheelchair dance, and guess what- the women aren't in wheelchairs- go figure- huh!
I also want to mention that it is very important for the disabled and wheelchair bound to know that you do not have to be in a wheelchair to be paralyzed. I know a lot of wheelchair users who do more with their lives, travel, play sports, have full time jobs, have children, and their are lots of abled bodied people out there who have chosen to do a lot less in life than they do. There are so many people who have given up on life and exist instead of living. My life felt so paralyzed for so long before I found a roommate to help fill the emptiness and lonliness that consumed more than half my life. And, I chose to be that way instead of living life to its fullest. Now, I am going out, and living and it feels great. All these years I thought I barely existed, now I know I'm alive! Well, the meaning behind all of this, is life is a journey, not a destination. We, no matter who you are or whether you have a disability or not chose to live the life we set out for ourselves. We all have the ability to live, and whether we use that ability is up to us individually. LIVE your life no matter what anyone else thinks. All the negative responses on this site, ignore them, stick with the positive and go with it! Life is for living no matter what your situation. Nothing nor no one can stop a person determined to find that special someone, or live their life to their fullest. We only live once so never give up and never ever let anyone tell you there are girls who only go out with guys for pity, want to be their nurse/ she wants to help with everything, or there has to be something wrong with the girl if she wants a man in a wheelchair when she can have abled bodied men. That is all crap! And if you believe what they are saying you are just as naive as they are. I actually found a man I was very attracted to on the internet. He was handsome, had many of the same interests as myself and we were stated as being a perfect match. I e-mailed him stating how interested I was and I really wanted to hear back from him. I checked every day for his response and could not figure out why he was not contacting me in any way. I waited a week, then two weeks, only to find out the reason he did not even give me a try is because I am a BBW. He only wants to be with a slim girl who works out. I felt so low and stupid for not noticing in his description that he wanted a skinny girl only. Ironic! Here we are talking about wheelchair users finding that someone special, and this wheelchair user would not give this abled bodied BBW the time of day. But it is his loss as I am one hell of a woman and have so much to offer. I am glad I did not waste my time on someone so judging. Just remember: When someone does not give you the time of day for any reason at all it is their loss- as many people lose out on meeting very special, wonderful people just for the fact they are not how they want them to be! No one is perfect-No one has the right to judge someone before they have met them! To everyone- think before you respond and do not respond for others, respond for yourself. It is a large world out there with all kinds of people! LIVE, LIVE, LIVE your life!!!!!
I would think being in your position is tough. Like having an arm missing or a leg. You would always have to explain what happened that you are missing your arm or leg. Or you would have to tell them why you are in a wheel chair.
People tend to be so stereotypical.
I have a friend, a young guy who is in a wheel chair who is a great kid. He is always smiling and joking around. We should treat them as if they are just one of the kids. That's it. Nothing more.
I would hope more people can read these posts and realize that you are just like everyone else. You don't need anything special. Well, unless we are going mountain climbing or swimming. Even then we should be reminded by you that you can't do those things and we should say, "Oh yeah, I forgot."
Glad to hear your thoughts on here. Thanks again.
Thank you for your kind words! And you are right. People are always asking me why I am in a wheelchair. I don’t use feet rests. When I workout, I can do squats. Spotted, of course! Many people automatically assume wheelchair means paralysis.
I like your friend’s outlook on life. We all need to try to stay positive. There are so many things in the world today that can bring anybody down. If it’s something that can’t be changed then get over it. If it is something that can be changed then do something! But don’t be in the corner pissed off because life has dealt you a crappy hand.
Mountain climbing…might be difficult. How about I meet you on top of the mountain and we repel down together? Fortunately for me, I can still swim. Actually, I’ve seen paralyzed people swim also with a life vest. But I do miss mountain climbing. I used to live in Tucson, and I loved going mountain biking/climbing every chance I got. Now, I can’t do either. But I now live in Oklahoma; so even if I was able to mountain climb, the best I could do would be to climb a tumbleweed!
[quote=FourOhFive;9535904]Thank you for your kind words! And you are right. People are always asking me why I am in a wheelchair. I don’t use feet rests. When I workout, I can do squats. Spotted, of course! Many people automatically assume wheelchair means paralysis.
I like your friend’s outlook on life. We all need to try to stay positive. There are so many things in the world today that can bring anybody down. If it’s something that can’t be changed then get over it. If it is something that can be changed then do something! But don’t be in the corner pissed off because life has dealt you a crappy hand.
Mountain climbing…might be difficult. How about I meet you on top of the mountain and we repel down together? Fortunately for me, I can still swim. Actually, I’ve seen paralyzed people swim also with a life vest. But I do miss mountain climbing. I used to live in Tucson, and I loved going mountain biking/climbing every chance I got. Now, I can’t do either. But I now live in Oklahoma; so even if I was able to mountain climb, the best I could do would be to climb a tumbleweed![/quote]
I'd have no problem with dating or being in a relationship with a man who happend to be in a wheelchair for whatever reason that may be.They're still a human being who just wants to be loved and respected just like we all do.
Now, I've heard some of you talk about, people being afraid or hesistant to date and be with someone in a wheelchair because needing to care for them, it's an added responsibility. I hear this so much, upsets me some. Now, I do understand everyone's different, they need help with different things, some less, some more. Some have different care provided through health services and in-home health care. Some get very little assistance, some get a lot. Now me, I'm in a wheelchair and I can barelly do anything for myself but I have 24/7 nursing care. Now if I had a wife or gf, she would not need to care for me at all unless she wished to. So she wouldn't be in a ton of pain being my sole-care-giver, I got plenty of help besides her. I know every person and situation is different. I would never drop my nursing care just so my wife/gf can do everything for me, that's selfish, cruel, not right, unfair, etc. etc. I'm sure it would be hot and sexy having ur wife/gf help you, she can do stuff a nurse can't. She won't feel like it if she's tired, overworked, and in pain. She's a companion, not your slave, be good to her. That man had no right to expect so much from his wife and get angry becaue she's in too much pain to help him anymore. I'd never do that. So if you are concerned about being with someone in a wheelchair because you need to help them with everything, realize every person is in a different situation, and many already have established caregivers. So don't let the fear of the added responibility stop you from being with someone in a wheelchair. They got by fine without you I'm sure, they got help prior to you. Thanks.
Haha, another thing I saw, now I'm not judging, I just want to enlighten some of you who may need enlightening, Now, some say, yes be friends first, cough. Yeah, that's how most relationships form into more, like a gf, wife, lifetime companion, cough cough. I'm not saying it can't & doesn't happen, I'm sure it does, but not always, there's no one answer here. The thing is, when it comes to women, c'mon guys, women have their own laws and rules, yeah, they have none, and if they do, you couldn't fit enough computer storage space and books on this earth to put all thier laws. If you think you found a breakthrough, a solution to how women think and act and why, think again, we're men, we can't ever entirely understand women, they're different creatures. No offense ladies, we still love you, you're just very confusing sometimes, you're an unsolvable mystey. Sorry for going off on a tangent, moving on. Being friends first has never ever worked for me, I become friends first, then they say "your a great friend but I don't think we could ever be more, lets just be friends" or "if we were together romantically and it didn't work out, I may lose you as a friend, and I don't want that. I'd like us to just remain friends" (nothing seemingly wrong w/ that, you are a very important friend to her that she doesn't want to risk losing you as a friend. Of course you'll rather have her as a friend and in your life than not at all, right? Right, but it still doesn't take away from your want for more, but you stay her friend to respect her, or you may be so hurt and drop her as a friend which is pretty nasty to do to someone you love, even if she is just a friend and not what you actually wanted her to be. ) So, sounds logical right? Yeah. So no, becoming a friend first is not always the best way to a great romantic relationship. If she hasen't ever had those types of feelings for you all along, she likely never will. She likes you as a friend, thats it. Friends first can be a complete waste of time.
I'd have no problem with dating or being in a relationship with a man who happend to be in a wheelchair for whatever reason that may be.They're still a human being who just wants to be loved and respected just like we all do.
As a wheelchair user, myself, I can definitely say that that is encouraging. It definitely requires a lot of positive thinking because, like it or not, not everyone feels the way you do. But credit to you! That's awesome.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Even then we should be reminded by you that you can't do those things and we should say, "Oh yeah, I forgot." 
