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First off, as I'm sure you already know, people tend to REALLY fall in love with someone they already know a lot about and have spent time with. I'm not ruling out meeting people on the internet, but I think you should start dating outside the net. People are evidently "picky" and shallow about who they date when they have MILLIONS to choose from online... All it takes is one click to make you go away. I'm sure everyone's done it... You know, get on myspace, look at people's pictures... Too ugly, NEXT... Not pretty enough, NEXT... They can "next" all they want because they know there's a million more to look through.
If your being in a wheelchair is a deterrent for women online, I guarantee that's the reason why. Because they don't really know you. I personally have dated someone I met online, but only because we met in a forum where he stated he had just moved here 2 weeks prior and had no friends. He seemed cool so we hung out for a while then started dating.
In "real life" (as opposed to online) people are less shallow and see you for who you really are. There's no button to click to make you go away. There's time to REALLY get to know you, and see who you really are. And since they know you personally, they already know you're in a wheelchair. Therefore there's no surprises.
I just think you're looking in the wrong places. Stop looking online! This place is for information, not dates.
I would agree with this most. Years ago when I was about 23 I worked at a hospital and got to know a paraplegic patient very well and by the time he left I was bonkers about him. We kept in touch thru letters for awhile--the relationship ended up not working out and he moved out of state shortly after leaving the hospital, but I would have gone with him if he'd asked. And yet, for many of the reasons cited by slove here, I'm not sure I would contact someone who is in a wheelchair on a dating site. There are just too many other choices, and I'm not attached to any one of them yet. I was totally attached to the man in the hospital and that was all the difference. I'm not trying to be cruel either, but online dating has definite limitations.
Wow, I thought I was being tough... I was wrong, Alot of these people are shallow and focus on hair and nails,,, Women are out there!!!! Some like sence of humor... Like I said take care of you and do what you want to do ie fishing , boating, snow mobling, skiing, basketball If you want to do it figure a way out... I can 4 wheel, fish , snow moble , ice fish, If you cannot be or do things in the public then figure a way it only takes 1 person to fall in love with you. Its not a movie it takes time...
Sorry I didn't mean to hurt anyones feeling even the nails and hair people
To Pennymsch
You must be a strong and a beatiful women. Like I said before There is someone. It might take longer than you want but there is someone special that will be in your life... Remember that you need to be happy with what you can do... Then figure out what else you want to do or can do more..Live life
I'm sorry, but this self-righteous pontificating is gross. Let's face facts, most people will not consider someone who is in a wheelchair as a dating partner. Am I being insensitive by stating this? No. I'm being realistic. To the OP, this is not an indictment of you. It's an indictment of people in general. To everyone cooing about how a person is inside, let's be real. Who would catch your eye in a party? The gorgeous hunk with bulging biceps or the man in the wheelchair? The same goes for you guys. Who would you approach first--the buxom blonde or the woman in the wheelchair? Quit playing games and 'fess up for God's sake. All these platitudes are great for movies and novels but they don't play out in real life. You want proof? Well, why would the OP even post if this weren't the case???
BobmulkYou are not realistic. I've been in a wheelchair for a little over a year. FRom no fault of my own.. I lost my wife in divorse because she is as shallow as you. That does not stop me from going on date and now in a relationship that I'm in now.. All the women that I went out with ask if I wanted to go out with them.. tell me besides walking what can I not do or hasn't been in a wheelchair. All people need hope I also have 2 kids give up for them no way... Not every women wants you also. Their are poeple out there be active.
Is it appropriate to ask a man in a wheelchair whether he can get an erection? Is there a certain time frame in which you can ask? This is a very awkward question which is a very big reason why I've never contacted someone online who is in a wheelchair. Maybe this makes me seem like an ass, but no sex would be a deal breaker for me. (I went out with an able-bodied man once who told me about his erectile dysfunction... I never went out with him again.) If I met a good looking, funny intelligent guy in a wheelchair and I somehow knew he didn't have any sexual problems, I'd give him a chance.
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There's time to REALLY get to know you, and see who you really are. And since they know you personally, they already know you're in a wheelchair. Therefore there's no surprises.
