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So, I take it you haven't laid your cards on the table for him, yet? (Sorry, I'm trying to catch up.)
No worries. I told him this. I’m not sure the exact wording or the sequence bc we kept hoping around topics but essentially I think I did lay the cards out. This is the gist of it
“So I know this isn’t exactly the time or place but our last conversation confused me and I wasn’t sure what you were trying to say or what we’re doing. I think after 5 years, it’d be a good idea to figure it out. We were actually friends and I didn’t want it to be about sex, we were never about that. And that’s not why I stayed in touch with you. I care about you, you’re my friend and more and all I know is I really enjoy spending time with you, I always have a lot of fun when I’m with you and I just enjoying hanging out and who knows what will happen”
Again I’m paraphrasing, I’m not quite sure the sequence or the wording but essentially that’s what I said.
No worries. I told him this. I’m not sure the exact wording or the sequence bc we kept hoping around topics but essentially I think I did lay the cards out. This is the gist of it
“So I know this isn’t exactly the time or place but our last conversation confused me and I wasn’t sure what you were trying to say or what we’re doing. I think after 5 years, it’d be a good idea to figure it out. We were actually friends and I didn’t want it to be about sex, we were never about that. And that’s not why I stayed in touch with you. I care about you, you’re my friend and more and all I know is I really enjoy spending time with you, I always have a lot of fun when I’m with you and I just enjoying hanging out and who knows what will happen”
Again I’m paraphrasing, I’m not quite sure the sequence or the wording but essentially that’s what I said.
I wouldn't call that "laying your cards on the table". That sounds like more vague obfuscation. What you told us earlier in the thread, was that you were seriously into him, and wanted to have a future with him. He was hinting at marriage, and you said you were for it (i.e. for it with him), but you never told him that.
"Who knows what will happen" is NOT "laying your cards on the table". See what I mean?
*sigh* Oh well. It sounds like, more recently you've begun to doubt his suitability anyway. I read something about him being immature in some important ways.
I wouldn't call that "laying your cards on the table". That sounds like more vague obfuscation. What you told us earlier in the thread, was that you were seriously into him, and wanted to have a future with him. He was hinting at marriage, and you said you were for it (i.e. for it with him), but you never told him that.
"Who knows what will happen" is NOT "laying your cards on the table". See what I mean?
*sigh* Oh well. It sounds like, more recently you've begun to doubt his suitability anyway. I read something about him being immature in some important ways.
Well he was being really weird and acting a little cold and distant towards me and complaining about money and not being rich so I felt like a subway ride wasn’t the right time to tell him hey I want marriage and kids with YOU. Ya know? Plus I did tell him I thought we should figure out what we are doing and talk was kind of saying “Let’s figure out if we’re more” no?
Well he was being really weird and acting a little cold and distant towards me and complaining about money and not being rich so I felt like a subway ride wasn’t the right time to tell him hey I want marriage and kids with YOU. Ya know?
Fair enough. All I know is, several days have elapsed since I last tuned in, so I was wondering if there had been any progress. Thanks, OP. Carry on! And good luck!
Oh, btw, how DO you feel about his "suitability"? What's his issue with not having enough money (real? Imagined? Chalked up to some kind of insecurity?), and having an immature side?
Fair enough. All I know is, several days have elapsed since I last tuned in, so I was wondering if there had been any progress. Thanks, OP. Carry on! And good luck!
Oh, btw, how DO you feel about his "suitability"? What's his issue with not having enough money (real? Imagined? Chalked up to some kind of insecurity?), and having an immature side?
I still love him and for me money isn’t an issue. But, I think it’s an insecurity he’s had for as long as I’ve known him and it’s being made worse by the fact he really wants to get married and have kids. I also think, part of him really isn’t ready. You can want something and say you’re ready but still not be mentally or even emotionally there yet. Ya know? That’s just my gut feeling. And I still don’t know if he was hinting at marriage with me or just talking for talks sake. Like I said he was sooo vague and confusing that night.
I still love him and for me money isn’t an issue. But, I think it’s an insecurity he’s had for as long as I’ve known him and it’s being made worse by the fact he really wants to get married and have kids. I also think, part of him really isn’t ready. You can want something and say you’re ready but still not be mentally or even emotionally there yet. Ya know? That’s just my gut feeling. And I still don’t know if he was hinting at marriage with me or just talking for talks sake. Like I said he was sooo vague and confusing that night.
Refer back to my early post about him dropping hints like bombs.
But this is why you really need to re-open that conversation, and hash it out with him. "Remember when you said __________, and we had what I thought. was a really sweet talk? Sorry, I was so caught by surprise at the time, I could respond much, but I'd like to go back to that, and re-start the convo, because it seemed important to you, and upon reflection, I realized it's important to me too..." or something.
But I think you know that. And yes, I do know what you mean, by -- you can want something, and still not be ready for it on some level.
Refer back to my early post about him dropping hints like bombs.
But this is why you really need to re-open that conversation, and hash it out with him. "Remember when you said __________, and we had what I thought. was a really sweet talk? Sorry, I was so caught by surprise at the time, I could respond much, but I'd like to go back to that, and re-start the convo, because it seemed important to you, and upon reflection, I realized it's important to me too..." or something.
But I think you know that. And yes, I do know what you mean, by -- you can want something, and still not be ready for it on some level.
Well then if he really was dropping hints like bombs than I ****ed it all up and it’s over and I missed my chance and have only my safe to blame ☹️
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And yes, I do know what you mean, by -- you can want something, and still not be ready for it on some level.
