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Not to give a lot of details bc this is new for me, but I wanted to ask opinions.
I'm seeing a guy who has two kids. His wife died a little more than a year ago. we haven't been seeing each other long, but we both like each other. I can see us long term, if you know what I mean. like it has that potential. The only thing is that:
a.) he's a different faith and I'd have to convert I think. which the more I get educated about his religion, the more I wouldn't mind doing that. maybe in the future. He said he doesn't mind me being a christian but that he prefer I not mention it to his family and he wants me to start going to church with him. He says he doesnt want to push me but that if i got involved in the church he thinks I'd like it.
b.) He likes me too, but also that he needs someone to help raise his kids.he wants them to have a mom. I wouldn't mind that since i miss all my siblings i used to help raise. I love kids. This would make me happy too.
c.) also Id have to move to a different state bc he doesnt live locally to me (though we have met in person and he has met a few of my friends. He did live here when we met but he moved back to his home state to be closer to his parents)
I keep thinking about this and we have talked about being married. this is all very new. I'd like to get to know him more first. But it's neat bc he supports me going after my degree and taking classes (like I have been doing) and I could also quit working which would honestly be great for me. I have issues with my leg which makes it hard for me to do my job. I'm thinking we could both help each other. i'm thinking we could both make a marriage work.
Im not saying it will happen tomorrow but if it does go in that direction, is that ok? I always saw being married as being crazy in love and then commiting your life to someone and I'm not saing it couldnt be that- I already really care about him. I know he cares about me. Is it okay to marry for reasons other than love right off the bat?
my friends think me even thinking about this is crazy lol although they do like him. But I think about it and pray about it and it may be an opportunity for me and I could finally get on the right path Anyway... I'm just thinking and wanted opinions or stories that may help me.
We have talked about it a bit. He’s said he would marry me and he wants to date. He let me know when he dates he is looking for the next step to be marriage. He says he dates with purpose not just to mess around but to find a wife.
He says he wants me to meet his family but just not mention that I’m not converted just yet, if I do. He doesn’t say I would have to convert. He wants me to do what’s in my heart but he has expressed his faith is important to him and if we do get serious he would want me to but ultimately it’d be my choice. He was very honest about that
And yah it’s no secret that I’d love to get married and have my own family. I have just been waiting for my opportunity.
If he won't be honest with his family, he won't be honest with you. Oh Belle, you are so naive it pains me. You are looking to be rescued and you always will. I have a friend almost 50 still bouncing from man to man and in between in the hole on welfare with kids she can't support. That is your future. You are not a boot strapper, you are not a long term thinker. I am sad.
I think Belle's mind is made up already. She's just looking for someone to validate her decision but only one person in this thread has.
We all live and learn from (mostly bad) experiences. Good luck to you. I can tell you from past experience that getting married is easy. Getting divorced is messy and difficult in more ways than one.
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