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Having lived in LA for 8 years, I can tell you my point of view. I'm female. I was poor when I lived there. I started out making $13k a year and when I left, I was making $45k. I dated the poorest of guys who had no hope of a future making much more. I didn't want to live an expensive lifestyle, but I DID want to be a stay at home mom. Having grown up with a mother who had to work and divorced parents, it was important to me. I knew that wouldn't be possible in LA. I moved to Chicago and kept working, upping my income over several years. It was around then I decided I was no longer dating guys who made nothing. I didn't need to live a fancy life. Just wanted to be able to raise a family. I was lucky I found someone who agreed with me.
It's harder when you live in an expensive place.
When I was in my 20's I was like most people just starting out and not making that great of money, but the time I was in late 20's early 30's I was starting to do pretty well. It matters more when you are older. Like I said back when you a kid everyone was pretty much broke as a joke.
I'm late 40's now and if I were single I wouldn't want to be dating a woman that was always broke. Doesn't have to be well to do but in the middle area where you can still do stuff and aren't scrapping by barely making it.
Being broke sucks. I come from a very modest background and while I never missed a meal growing up I was definitely the least wealthy of people when I was out and about at school and whatever.
My husband makes about $20k a year more than I do. WE bought a house together but ultimately wanted to make sure that, if god forbid, we separated either of us could afford the house by ourselves.
So while, yes, we share $$, my income by myself is just as important as ours together.
I often get critisize from people just because I graduated college and don't make as much as certain other people do like an engineer or doctor.
Some girls get disappointed too because I don't give expensive gifts, tips, or just be flat out honest with that I can't be buying expensive cars, houses around California, give them the SAHM lifestyle.
I can go out, have casual dinners dates, go dancing, save up for a vacation, and can possibly buy a new compact car but of course this is California money here doesn't stretch too far for me for a luxry life by myself.
Im not cheap but after bills, yea I can only do so much.
Such is life lol. I hope I can find a girl thats more financially independent so maybe I can combine my income with her and we can do more bug things like buy a house lol
I often get criticized from people just because I graduated college
and don't make as much as certain other people do like an engineer or doctor.
Do you have an engineering or medical degree? If not then what would these comparisons matter?
What matters is vs those with YOUR degree and general adequacy vs area.
In most areas $40-50K is the threshold to middle class family life.
In coastal CA and similar HCOL areas... it doesn't come close.
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Im not cheap but after bills, yea I can only do so much.
Yup. But the top of that list is relocating to a lower COL area and/or find a way to earn more.
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I hope I can find a girl thats more financially independent ...
I'm at crossroads with my gf over this very thing. Her income fluctuates because she's an entrepreneur. The last year she hasn't been successful and I want her to get a job. She wants a man who is going to be mostly responsible for all the bills. I'm not signing up for a marriage where it all falls on me. No thank you.
To the OP, you probably live in the wrong state to find what you want. I think there are many more independent women willing to pull their weight and financially contribute on the east coast (based on my experience). If you're from Cali, you may not realize these women exist, but they do.
The majority of women do not care about a man's salary. That way of thinking is outdated. Most women out earn men and that number will increase due to more women going to post-secondary.
If a man will take care most of the domestic duties and learn how to cook most women will be more than happy being married to a man of little means. The only thing holding back guys with no careers or low salaries is their ego, nothing else.
The majority of women on CD are the breadwinners and do not hold a grudge being one.
The majority of women do not care about a man's salary. That way of thinking is outdated. Most women out earn men and that number will increase due to more women going to post-secondary.
If a man will take care most of the domestic duties and learn how to cook most women will be more than happy being married to a man of little means. The only thing holding back guys with no careers or low salaries is their ego, nothing else.
The majority of women on CD are the breadwinners and do not hold a grudge being one.
Every relationship (& my first marriage) I was the breadwinner. Now my husband is (though we both have really good salaries) and I hate it, lol.
There is a great feeling that comes with a woman out-earning a man.
I have never been the breadwinner in my relationships, my ex earned double my income, my current partner earns a lot more. I have a good career and earn enough to take care of myself and my children but i have always opted for the career that is less demanding because i try to balance my role as a working mom, its important for me to be able to take time off when someone is sick, cook them a homemade meal every day, make sure my home is clean and inviting, take them to play dates and extra curricular activities and be as present as possible when they're around me. If i had opted to focus on my career i could have been making double what i do now.
I have never been in a position where i needed someone else's income to take care of me, but for me personally it is important that my partner makes a decent living too, the idea of living paycheck to paycheck is scary.
I wouldn't need to be the breadwinner, but I would like to be with someone that can afford the same things I like to do. I enjoy traveling and going out to different places. I would like to be with someone that could afford to do those things as well.
I wouldn't need to be the breadwinner, but I would like to be with someone that can afford the same things I like to do. I enjoy traveling and going out to different places. I would like to be with someone that could afford to do those things as well.
Ditto, and it's hard to find a woman (where I live) who can or will do that and not expect the man to pay for everything.
To me income would matter. I always want to get ahead, do better, live better, etc. thus any partner I took on had to have the same goals and be able to share/contribute to my goals.
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