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The first thing to do is visit the clinic with her and have her sign the forms to give you complete access to her medical records. Then you can go over her test results with a nurse. If he balks at this, you know she is running a scam.
If she looked into getting a paternity test, you know there is some doubt in her mind about who the father is. She could have been having sex with someone else before she broke up with you.
She may not be really pregnant. She may not know who the father is. The only way to know what's happening is through her medical records and a paternity test.
If she is really pregnant and the test says you are the father, you can decide what to do from there. If she has the kid, you are on the hook for a minimum 18 years of child support, and you get to pay the income tax on the money. That $400 child support payment actually will cost you about $525 a month out of your gross income. If you are the father, you need to decide if you want to marry a woman that you don't really trust. If you think child support is expensive, wait until you go through a divorce. It's how lots of guys end up deeply in debt and sleeping under a bridge.
Very simple solution to all of this.You're having doubt if she really IS pregnant and if she is...if the baby could be yours.If you had sex with her...yes the baby could be yours.There would be a possibility.Now if you feel that she's NOT pregnant...then when she claims to have any sort of Dr appts...GO WITH HER!! If she keeps making up excuses as to why you can't go or if she goes to these appointments without you...then she's probably NOT pregnant.Why would one hide that fact from you??
She shouldn't keep you from going to any Dr appointments.That way..you would be able to see IF she is actually pregnant.Now to know for sure if they baby is yours...you would have to wait until the baby is born to have a paternity test to know for sure.
If she is really pregnant and the test says you are the father, you can decide what to do from there. If she has the kid, you are on the hook for a minimum 18 years of child support, and you get to pay the income tax on the money. That $400 child support payment actually will cost you about $525 a month out of your gross income. If you are the father, you need to decide if you want to marry a woman that you don't really trust. If you think child support is expensive, wait until you go through a divorce. It's how lots of guys end up deeply in debt and sleeping under a bridge.
Good luck.
This is scary. Thanks for the heads up. It's just more reason to be vigilant. Yikes!
I had a baby scare a few years ago, losing sleep and thinking about what you just explained. After the coast cleared (false alarm), I promised myself I would be smarter in choosing the women I slept with. lol
This happened to a friend of mine. We always told him to refuse to sign anything till the DNA test was done. But he was stupid. When he finally broke up and divorced her he had 4 kids to support. The first weekend he had custody he did the DNA tests and found out 3 of the kids were not his. Too late. He had accepted paternity and he will be poorer than dirt while his cheating EX laughs all the way to the bank.
Laws in every state are a bit different. You need to see a lawyer and get expert advice. In most states if you sign the paperwork you are on the hook, even if the kid is not yours. Insist on a DNA/paternity test. Even if you stay together, get the kid tested. If you were to break up in the future you don't want to have to pay for someone else's child. Even if you love her and the kid, you need to protect yourself. If she can't accept that, she can leave you!
Always keep in mind family law will be about protecting and providing for the child. They do not care about you at all! You have to advocate for yourself.
Great advice! Don't sign anything until you get a paternity test!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Grlzrl
Why would she? Tell her you want to go to the next u/s with and and call her on the paternity test bluff. Don't just sit around waiting. Find out if you can get one somewhere cheaper. CALL HER BLUFF.
Agree. Price other paternity tests and do it now.
Quote:
Originally Posted by smitch100000
it sounds like everyone has the suspiscion that cheated on me, got knocked up, and came back.
honestly, i am kind of leaning the opposite way. If she got knocked up by someone else, the timing for when she was also having unprotected sex with me would have to been so close that not even she could tell who the baby daddy is.
More i think about this its one of two things
1)she monkey branched to another guy and when she found out she was pregnant and it was likely mine, she came back
2) she isnt even pregnant. Her ultrasound doesnt have any medical record information. and she is just playing me to some end
Hard to say if she's really pregnant. Her name not being on the ultrasound is a big why? You've gotten a lot of great advice. Please make sure you take it. Go to her next appointment whether she wants you there or not, go. Don't give her any other options
the pic is just a blob. but her name is not on it it or any identifying information... I dont get why she would lie about being pregnant though. if she wanted to stay with me, she just wouldnt of dumped me like 3 days earlier lol
around the time she said she concieved, we did not use protection and she was the one who would always push for me to not use a condom around the time....however, its also around the time she completely dropped off the map and ended up with like 15 new guy facebook friends. but i also dont undertstand why she would make a big point to say i love you, then the very next day disappear just to bang other dudes. the timing between the i love you and if she cheated and concieved with another guy was literally days.
This story is starting to sound more and more nonsensical to me. So you had unprotected sex 'around the time' on multiple occasions? Not buying it. If you did knock her up, you get what you deserve. If by 'around the time', you mean when she was ovulating, no sympathy for you.
This story is starting to sound more and more nonsensical to me. So you had unprotected sex 'around the time' on multiple occasions? Not buying it. If you did knock her up, you get what you deserve. If by 'around the time', you mean when she was ovulating, no sympathy for you.
It's not about sympathy. When women get pregnant, the first thing they do is go looking for Mr. Moneybags. If she puts his name on the birth certificate, he has a very limited time to deny paternity, and will probably need a lawyer to do it. Paternity fraud is rampant, and in most states if he falls for the scam there is no recourse when the fraud is discovered. "It's for the chiiiillllddren"
She split, and came back pregnant. Every alarm bell should be going off at this one.
How did you happen to have unprotected sex? Whose idea was it?
Yes, OP; this is not a rhetorical question people have been asking here. Why would she have agreed to that? Why would you have? It could've been an entrapment strategy that you (apparently) willingly dove into, you know.
around the time she said she concieved, we did not use protection and she was the one who would always push for me to not use a condom around the time.
This all by itself should have been a gigantic RED FLAG.
Quote:
Originally Posted by smitch100000
the timing between the i love you and if she cheated and concieved with another guy was literally days.
It only takes minutes......
There's something here that just doesn't pass the smell test. First of all you need to get a DNA paternity test done now, so you know where you stand. And be very careful not to sign anything. There's a lot of good women out there, but there are some who want nothing more than to turn a guy into their own personal ATM for the next 20 years.
the pic is just a blob. but her name is not on it it or any identifying information... I dont get why she would lie about being pregnant though. if she wanted to stay with me, she just wouldnt of dumped me like 3 days earlier lol
around the time she said she concieved, we did not use protection and she was the one who would always push for me to not use a condom around the time....however, its also around the time she completely dropped off the map and ended up with like 15 new guy facebook friends. but i also dont undertstand why she would make a big point to say i love you, then the very next day disappear just to bang other dudes. the timing between the i love you and if she cheated and concieved with another guy was literally days.
Oh, dear.
You want to figure out if she is pregnant.
If she is, keep in mind that she might be scared and rattled as well. Consider that as you move forward in determinig paternity, next steps, etc.
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