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his sister and siblings and mom will ALWAYS come before me. He never has my back and always lets them talk bad about me.
OP, why would you put up with this? He's not on your team. A devoted couple is supposed to be a team, a 2-person team (more, when there are kids), that defends its members against any detractors. Team members' first loyalty is supposed to be to that team, and then their parental-family's team second. This guy isn't on board with you, and is making excuses not to be.
Sorry, OP, but marriage with this guy isn't going to happen, nor should it, given what you've told us about his character. You can do better than this.
trust me I would run like hell away from this relationship and never look back. I dated a guy for 6 years from my senior year of high school into my early 20's. I am thankful to this day that we never married and ended up breaking up and going our separate ways. Just seemed like there was some weird, unhealthy "clinginess" between him & the rest of his family. Fast forward 15 years later...I ran into him in a store in my hometown and we got to talking.. Turns out that he ended up marrying someone but it didn't last and he had been divorced for the last 10 years. ANYWAY he seemed really happy to see me and really wanted to talk but then his sister called him and instead of saying to her "hey, I am busy can I call you back?" he proceeded to spend the next 10 minutes listening to her gab on about nonsense and barking orders at him (he put her on speaker) All I could think about was "yup, I remember this sh*t" and I chuckled to myself about how I had dodged a bullet of misery by us going our separate ways back then
Most families aren't cultish like that, thankfully. But when you see red flags of this or any other sort, you don't have to wait 2 years to leave. Good Luck!!
Your boyfriend does have the right to talk to someone he trusts (other than you) if you’ve had a bad argument. It’s unfortunate that they want you to break up.
However, virtually everyone here tells you the same thing. You are not compatible. That’s just how it is.
Maybe you should join some sort of travel group or plan a trip this summer with a friend?
Your boyfriend does have the right to talk to someone he trusts (other than you) if you’ve had a bad argument. It’s unfortunate that they want you to break up.
Getting advice from a trusted family member who knows you well is a good idea. It read like he was rallying family to gang up on her and sway her to “their side.”
General comment: A person shouldn't have to choose between a spouse and his/her family. These are both special relationships and one can't replace the other. Trying to get a spouse to ignore his/her family generally is a recipe for marital discord. Before marrying, it is important to explore compatability on issues such as this.
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