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I have known a couple of people who did this (both male and female) and I'm pretty sure it's because deep down, they didn't really want commitment. Obviously, if a person is married, that's an automatic stumbling block built right in.
I also knew one person, a woman, who went after unavailable men for the chase. If she could "get" the guy "away from" someone else, then that proved that she must be extra special. It was terrible and there were many times that we didn't speak for months (she was a family member so I didn't cut her off completely). I couldn't stand watching that. I know it was because of severe "issues", but still. I credit that person, actually, for making me so loyal today. I just can't imagine cheating on my husband and have never cheated on anyone.
I know, it is sort of a weird question...but here goes.
It's not really that weird... It's a fact. People have more or less competitive streak. If a person is already considered desirable by another, it kinda makes him/her more appealing. As far as looks go, it's different for men and women. Generally single women and married guys look better. Single women look better because they have more time to take care of themselves, whereas married men look better because their wives often take care of their clothing and nag them about their grooming. Also, some singles reek of desperation and as we all know desperation is hardly an aphrodisiac...
I have known a couple of people who did this (both male and female) and I'm pretty sure it's because deep down, they didn't really want commitment. Obviously, if a person is married, that's an automatic stumbling block built right in.
Personally , I'm just not the type to be attracted to men who are "less attainable," I don't have that kind of competitive streak. Be it whether he's in a relationship with another woman, or perhaps gay, the neon "off limits" sign reads loud and clear for me. The attraction (if there was one) would then turn into a friendship kind of attraction ONLY.
LOL well here we go again,first it was niceguy VS badboy now this.Ah well tell you this.
I use to have a friend she was a girl and good in the looks dept.We would go bar hop,girls would come up to her and ask if I was her boyfriend,or they would ugh...order a drink next to me brushing up against me or look at me when she was away.It happened a few times.
I've seen this happen with other people to.
Now when I went out alone there were sometimes that I got the eye or the sign or whatever but it seems it made a difference when I was with friend.
Funny enough she at first didn't want to be anything other than friends then latter she just did a 180 and came on to me.
I swear you women are strange sometimes,awesome but strange.And sierra,yeah sometimes it seems the best thing is to have them want you more than you want them but it kinda sucks to be like that.
I swear you women are strange sometimes,awesome but strange.And sierra,yeah sometimes it seems the best thing is to have them want you more than you want them but it kinda sucks to be like that.
Hey, sucks or not... I say whatever works!
This reminds me of some books on the 180-degree change in behavior. It's a pretty simple concept, but most of us don't do it! We keep trying and knocking our heads against the wall insisting on doing the very same thing we know darn well does NOT work! The author simply said - just try something else... something... anything... it might not work, but you're already pretty certain the other approach doesn't work for sure.
I did used to go for the unattainable. It was like some kind of challenge but now that I'm older and more mature (hopefully) the single man appeals to me more and sometimes I wonder why I did the stupid competitive thing when I was younger but past is past. I learned from it.
I wouldn't ever be attracted sexually or romantically to a man with a mate. However, I suppose that a man that is romantically unavailable would be more appealing as a platonic friend. Just like being friends with a gay man, it's nice to be able to be friendly with a guy and not worry about him hitting on me. I've always had lots of platonic male friends. And no, I am not too friendly or flirty with them either. I just enjoy the company of men more than the company of women. I want to talk about geeky tech and car stuff, not girly talk about shopping or babies.
I think, based on my weird experiences, that there are two kinds of women:
1) Once a man is engaged/married, he is off the market.
2) Once a man is engaged/married, his stock goes up.
When I got engaged and then married, it was weird. Immediately upon getting engaged, one co-worker broke down and sobbed, saying how she was breaking up with her boyfriend after the holidays so she could start dating me (I never saw that coming). Another co-worker, this one married, took my hand in the elevator and started caressing it, wanting to know if I wanted to have lunch at the Hilton. Another single co-worker insisted on making me lunch a couple of days before my wedding. Would not say no. I finally did.
Oh, and when going out on bachelor night (no porn movies, no strippers, just a bunch of guys making the rounds at bars), three gave me their phone numbers. And the list goes on and on.
Now before you collectively roll your eyes, I had done NOTHING to court any of this. Seriously. Yeah, I'm funny and fun to be around. But I certainly wasn't a hot commodity until I was spoken for, and then women suddenly came out of the woodwork. And it was even worse for a couple years after I got married. As a matter of procedure, I told my wife when a client or co-worker got fresh with me. Finally, I think they figured out that I wasn't going to stray. But it still emerges from time to time.
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Single women look better because they have more time to take care of themselves, whereas married men look better because their wives often take care of their clothing and nag them about their grooming.
Also, some singles reek of desperation and as we all know desperation is hardly an aphrodisiac...
