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So I have a suspicion that my boyfriend, well now ex, is on opioids. I am not sure, but I've noticed some serious personality changes and backing out of social events. He's 20 years old by the way if that helps. His dad is also a serious alcoholic and I've heard addiction can be genetic. Additionally I've noticed he's sleeping way later than normal, yet still complaining that he's up all night. He was in a car accident a year ago and still has minor back pain, and he told me one day at work a coworker offered him an opioid pain killer for his back and he took it. He said it was only was and he wouldn't do it again, but since then the behavior has gotten worse. Also the night he told me he took the pill he was acting out screaming then got super emotional. Like two weeks after he told me that he again had an outburst very similar but worse, where he got mad at me because I complained about having to drive (which I always complain about but I offer so he doesn't have to all the time and I want to and he knows that, I just still complain cause I always complain about driving) Anyways, so he freaked out completely and started full on screaming at me saying that I always make him feel bad about himself and like everything is his fault. At this point I'm pretty confused. A few minutes later he's crying and basically having a panic attack. At this point I pulled over, and next thing he's getting out of the car walking down the sidewalk away from me saying he's gonna get a cab home. Finally he comes back and says "I'm so upset I had to get away from the road or I would've just jumped in front of a car." So after this I got him to calm down and comforted him but I know that the way he was acting wasn't normal. So I still noticed a lot of irritability the next few days but he still told me he loved me a lot and clearly was happy with the relationship as we normally were before, but then a week later he throws another fit and starts screaming because I got angry at him for not getting his college work done on time. This time, he tells me everything is my fault and I don't care about him (which I'm not gonna list things but I have done so much to show I care to the point of filling out all of his job applications because he "didn't have time") and that he's done with this relationship. He's ghosted me ever since. This was after a year and a half of dating, and I know he's not the kind of person that would be this cruel. He's even very close with my mom and was even yelling at her a few weeks ago which is so out of character he's always been a good respectful person until now. So do you think he's on opioids or I mean maybe it's just depression? Also if it is drugs should I try to help him or talk to him about it? I care about him and would like to help him recover from this but I'm not sure if there's really anything I can do at this point.
Last edited by the_simple_beauties; 03-15-2019 at 09:21 PM..
Reason: additional info
So I have a suspicion that my boyfriend, well now ex, is on opioids. I am not sure, but I've noticed some serious personality changes and backing out of social events. He's 20 years old by the way if that helps.
His dad is also a serious alcoholic and I've heard addiction can be genetic.
Additionally I've noticed he's sleeping way later than normal, yet still complaining that he's up all night. He was in a car accident a year ago and still has minor back pain, and he told me one day at work a coworker offered him an opioid pain killer for his back and he took it. He said it was only was and he wouldn't do it again, but since then the behavior has gotten worse. Also the night he told me he took the pill he was acting out screaming then got super emotional.
Like two weeks after he told me that he again had an outburst very similar but worse, where he got mad at me because I complained about having to drive (which I always complain about but I offer so he doesn't have to all the time and I want to and he knows that, I just still complain cause I always complain about driving) Anyways, so he freaked out completely and started full on screaming at me saying that I always make him feel bad about himself and like everything is his fault.
At this point I'm pretty confused. A few minutes later he's crying and basically having a panic attack. At this point I pulled over, and next thing he's getting out of the car walking down the sidewalk away from me saying he's gonna get a cab home. Finally he comes back and says "I'm so upset I had to get away from the road or I would've just jumped in front of a car."
So after this I got him to calm down and comforted him but I know that the way he was acting wasn't normal. So I still noticed a lot of irritability the next few days but he still told me he loved me a lot and clearly was happy with the relationship as we normally were before, but then a week later he throws another fit and starts screaming because I got angry at him for not getting his college work done on time. This time, he tells me everything is my fault and I don't care about him (which I'm not gonna list things but I have done so much to show I care to the point of filling out all of his job applications because he "didn't have time") and that he's done with this relationship.
He's ghosted me ever since. This was after a year and a half of dating, and I know he's not the kind of person that would be this cruel. He's even very close with my mom and was even yelling at her a few weeks ago which is so out of character he's always been a good respectful person until now.
So do you think he's on opioids or I mean maybe it's just depression? Also if it is drugs should I try to help him or talk to him about it? I care about him and would like to help him recover from this but I'm not sure if there's really anything I can do at this point.
I think you might be jumping to conclusions at this point. It is still the end of winter and he might have seasonal affective disorder, which would be made worse if he doesn’t feel well. I know I haven’t felt well this winter and can’t say my behavior has been that far off from your boyfriend’s. I have never tried an opioid and don’t have a drug addiction. The weather is improving and so is my mood.
So I have a suspicion that my boyfriend, well now ex, is on opioids. I am not sure, but I've noticed some serious personality changes and backing out of social events. He's 20 years old by the way if that helps. His dad is also a serious alcoholic and I've heard addiction can be genetic. Additionally I've noticed he's sleeping way later than normal, yet still complaining that he's up all night. He was in a car accident a year ago and still has minor back pain, and he told me one day at work a coworker offered him an opioid pain killer for his back and he took it. He said it was only was and he wouldn't do it again, but since then the behavior has gotten worse. Also the night he told me he took the pill he was acting out screaming then got super emotional. Like two weeks after he told me that he again had an outburst very similar but worse, where he got mad at me because I complained about having to drive (which I always complain about but I offer so he doesn't have to all the time and I want to and he knows that, I just still complain cause I always complain about driving) Anyways, so he freaked out completely and started full on screaming at me saying that I always make him feel bad about himself and like everything is his fault. At this point I'm pretty confused. A few minutes later he's crying and basically having a panic attack. At this point I pulled over, and next thing he's getting out of the car walking down the sidewalk away from me saying he's gonna get a cab home. Finally he comes back and says "I'm so upset I had to get away from the road or I would've just jumped in front of a car." So after this I got him to calm down and comforted him but I know that the way he was acting wasn't normal. So I still noticed a lot of irritability the next few days but he still told me he loved me a lot and clearly was happy with the relationship as we normally were before, but then a week later he throws another fit and starts screaming because I got angry at him for not getting his college work done on time. This time, he tells me everything is my fault and I don't care about him (which I'm not gonna list things but I have done so much to show I care to the point of filling out all of his job applications because he "didn't have time") and that he's done with this relationship. He's ghosted me ever since. This was after a year and a half of dating, and I know he's not the kind of person that would be this cruel. He's even very close with my mom and was even yelling at her a few weeks ago which is so out of character he's always been a good respectful person until now. So do you think he's on opioids or I mean maybe it's just depression? Also if it is drugs should I try to help him or talk to him about it? I care about him and would like to help him recover from this but I'm not sure if there's really anything I can do at this point.
That wall of text was just so huge, so I pulled a few bricks out of it.
Based on my experience there are some signs that generally point to addiction. First, is he always broke? Does he work all the time yet never have any money? Is he always asking to borrow money? Does he have no explanation where his money goes? Has he been selling or pawning his belongings? Pills are really expensive and it takes a lot of money to finance an addiction.
Another sign of addiction is unexplained disappearances. Does he disappear or go without contact for long periods of time without a logical explanation as to where he's been? Does he act secretive and sneaky? Does he guard his phone?
Also, depression is another sign. Does he no longer do activities that he used to enjoy? Does he isolate and spend most of his time alone? Does he seem anxious for no reason? Does he break plans often and avoid social situations?
These are questions you need to ask yourself but ultimately if he does have a drug problem there's nothing you can do for him besides be supportive when HE decides to get help. Good luck.
The never having any money yet having a job is definitely something I noticed, especially because he just switched jobs and was making $5 an hour less at his old job with the same expenses and he’s still broke. He has depression but he’s that on and off all his life it just got worse recently.
Another update, he came to my house a lot and today my mom found some of her old opioid pills from a surgery and she said she only took 2 out of 20 but somehow there’s only 3 left now. I’m not sure how he would’ve gotten into her room he wasn’t here alone often but I guess a couple times for brief periods like 5-10 min so I’m not sure how he would’ve found them that quickly. Also why would he leave 3?
The never having any money yet having a job is definitely something I noticed, especially because he just switched jobs and was making $5 an hour less at his old job with the same expenses and he’s still broke. He has depression but he’s that on and off all his life it just got worse recently.
Another update, he came to my house a lot and today my mom found some of her old opioid pills from a surgery and she said she only took 2 out of 20 but somehow there’s only 3 left now. I’m not sure how he would’ve gotten into her room he wasn’t here alone often but I guess a couple times for brief periods like 5-10 min so I’m not sure how he would’ve found them that quickly. Also why would he leave 3?
Because he probably didn't take them.
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