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Old 03-17-2019, 08:31 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
49,927 posts, read 59,935,627 times
Reputation: 98359

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Quote:
Originally Posted by SomebodyIsMe View Post
Well, I get from the reactions she likes me
And ... ?

People want stuff they can't have all the time.

Either you're a person who respects social boundaries or you aren't.

If you go after this woman just because you think she's flirting with you, then you aren't even a friend because a friend wouldn't do that. A friend would respect her relationship and her BF.

There is a LOT to think about here, and yes, the co-worker thing is a big deal too.

But it's not the most important factor for you to consider.
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Old 03-17-2019, 08:32 PM
 
Location: Scottsdale, AZ
16,960 posts, read 17,339,729 times
Reputation: 30258
Quote:
Originally Posted by SomebodyIsMe View Post
She is committed, but she has choices. I'm just going to see what she wants.
Update your resume.
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Old 03-17-2019, 08:32 PM
 
Location: In a place beyond human comprehension
8,923 posts, read 7,720,329 times
Reputation: 16662
Quote:
Originally Posted by SomebodyIsMe View Post
It is a deterrent. But she isn't married. Relationships are important. But people are in relationships to see who they want to be with.
Flip the roles...if you were in the committed relationship and the person moving in on your partner had this same mindset, would you be cool with that?
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Old 03-17-2019, 08:46 PM
 
Location: TN/NC
35,066 posts, read 31,293,790 times
Reputation: 47534
I'm a bisexual man. Most people "on the street" would not be able to tell that about me, as I'm not stereotypically gay or anything.

With that said, my "gaydar" can often pick up a gay man instantly. I went to a drive through of a place I don't normally frequent last week. The young man handing me the food set my gaydar off instantly. If I had gone inside, I would have tried talking to me. I just smiled and went on.

My way of thinking for same sex relationships when person isn't "out" or even acknowledging their homosexual desires is similar to water finding an outlet.
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Old 03-17-2019, 08:53 PM
 
Location: Between West Chester and Chester, PA
2,802 posts, read 3,189,891 times
Reputation: 4900
A possible threeway relationship? I'm sure her boyfriend wouldn't mind his woman getting down with another woman. You should totally go for it. It could benefit all three of you.
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Old 03-17-2019, 08:55 PM
 
Location: Texas
44,254 posts, read 64,358,815 times
Reputation: 73932
Don't date your coworkers
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Old 03-17-2019, 09:02 PM
 
8,085 posts, read 5,248,505 times
Reputation: 22685
Quote:
Originally Posted by Serious Conversation View Post
I'm a bisexual man. Most people "on the street" would not be able to tell that about me, as I'm not stereotypically gay or anything.

With that said, my "gaydar" can often pick up a gay man instantly. I went to a drive through of a place I don't normally frequent last week. The young man handing me the food set my gaydar off instantly. If I had gone inside, I would have tried talking to me. I just smiled and went on.

My way of thinking for same sex relationships when person isn't "out" or even acknowledging their homosexual desires is similar to water finding an outlet.


There seems to be an epidemic of food servers and random workers secretly adoring CD posters.
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Old 03-17-2019, 09:45 PM
 
Location: Canada
14,735 posts, read 15,033,548 times
Reputation: 34871
Quote:
Originally Posted by SomebodyIsMe View Post
Well, I get from the reactions she likes me

So what? She sounds like a trouble maker and a philanderer who could be two-timing her boyfriend all the time for all you know, and you're getting suckered too. You aren't being smart and mature or thinking ahead of the heart-breaking consequences of getting involved with a philanderer, whether you work with them or not.

The fact remains that if you get involved in an intimate personal relationship with a co-worker (of any gender and sexual preferences, it makes no difference what they are and nobody cares anyway) that is a conflict of interest that will get you fired really fast.

Or if you misinterpret the co-worker's cues and intentions, say the wrong thing, make the wrong move in front of witnesses and then you get accused of interference or harassment on the job - you'll soon be getting fired and looking for another job. Like lickety-split. Your co-worker won't lose her job, you will.

Your interference and conflict of interest with a co-worker and getting fired for it won't look good for your future job prospects. You'll get pegged as a trouble maker yourself and you wouldn't get a referral from any employer that fires you for that kind of thing. Do you want that on your employment record?

.
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Old 03-17-2019, 10:54 PM
 
Location: Avignon, France
11,159 posts, read 7,961,718 times
Reputation: 28962
Hmmmm... You look like a bad decision.. come on over here.
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Old 03-18-2019, 12:52 AM
 
17 posts, read 19,250 times
Reputation: 25
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sydney123 View Post
Hmmmm... You look like a bad decision.. come on over here.

I haven't even hooked up with someone in 5 years.
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