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Old 03-26-2019, 04:37 PM
 
Location: Middle of nowhere
24,260 posts, read 14,155,092 times
Reputation: 9895

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Quote:
Originally Posted by KLC2018 View Post
Well, we tend to arrive around the same time. I don’t know. I mean, I get what you are saying and believe me, that is my fear. Like last night, she was busy and I just started walking down the hall and she ended up following behind, I mean, we all have to leave class. And then we walked out together so it tends to just happen. If we don’t chat at the gym, I likely won’t talk to her as she isn’t much into texting.


I know I can’t do this but I feel like I want to text her and say something so she doesn’t think that. But doing that will probably just make me look like an idiot.

I would like to think she doesn’t think of me as a puppy dog and I don’t think she would have text me last weekend to tell me that she would be teaching the class and that I should come or to let me know which classes she will be coming to that week, so my god, I hope she doesn’t think that!! But the way you put it, the puppy dog thing, is the exact fear that I have.
My yoga teacher and my zumba teacher both text me when they are teaching. They get paid by the body in the class. Sometimes they even text me about classes that their friends are teaching to up their body count.

You may or may not be reading too much into this situation.
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Old 03-26-2019, 05:00 PM
 
32 posts, read 15,264 times
Reputation: 28
Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle View Post
Yeah, please don’t do that.

You’ve got to try and be patient and put this out of your mind. Just be normal, like any other person in the class.

Right now, if you get all excited leading up to it and then shoot her cute looks during and also hang around expectantly after, you’re just gonna make it weird.

Youve done what most people would do to make inroads with her. You’ve got to find a way to not obsess about this but just be normal.

Don’t make any more overtures.
Thanks, Birdie- I really do appreciate your advice. I will play it cool. After class on Friday, I’ll just leave. And I won’t text her this week. Thank you, really.
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Old 03-27-2019, 12:18 PM
 
32 posts, read 15,264 times
Reputation: 28
Quote:
Originally Posted by jjrose View Post
My yoga teacher and my zumba teacher both text me when they are teaching. They get paid by the body in the class. Sometimes they even text me about classes that their friends are teaching to up their body count.

You may or may not be reading too much into this situation.
Thanks, Jjrose- I just saw your reply.

I don’t think head count was the reason because she was teaching someone else’s class but either way, I have decided just to let it go and let it be whatever it will be or not.
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Old 03-27-2019, 12:22 PM
 
Location: Boulder, CO
2,066 posts, read 895,406 times
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As you leave, I don't think you can go wrong with a friendly smile and a wave.


Or a neutral "thanks for teaching the class" sort of good-bye.
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Old 03-27-2019, 01:21 PM
 
32 posts, read 15,264 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ADogNamedSam View Post
As you leave, I don't think you can go wrong with a friendly smile and a wave.


Or a neutral "thanks for teaching the class" sort of good-bye.
Thanks, ADogNamedSam. I’m totally hearing you. So, let’s say I have been a total DWEEB and like what BirdieBelle says with her possibly thinking I’m her little annoying fan. Can I change the situation now at this point after I have been walking out with her for weeks? I really should be less focused on what she thinks of me but I really would like to have a friendship with her if it’s something she even wants. I know I haven’t done anything to ruin anything but if I start acting this way now and just wave and say goodbye unless we naturally leave together, I guess I’m wondering if it can change what has already been established.

For example, let’s say, she is unsure of my intentions and she thinks that I *may* be interested and that is not something she wants which is entirely possible. Then, we leave, I don’t text her and the next time I see her in class, I wave and leave. Will that make her think, “Oh, maybe she does just want to be friends?” I feel really stupid even typing this but I really do want to establish a basis of friendship and I will be the first to admit that 1) She hasn’t taken the initiative on hanging out which tells me she probably doesn’t want to and 2) I did get really excited about meeting a like-minded friend when we met and while I thought she was cute, I really did not think anything more about it. My feelings have only recently turned into more of a hopeful crush.

There is also a chance that she doesn’t think I’m her little fan and isn’t thinking any of this and then I totally pull back and she thinking that I don’t want to be friends. Damn. I don’t know.
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Old 03-27-2019, 02:45 PM
 
Location: Middle of nowhere
24,260 posts, read 14,155,092 times
Reputation: 9895
Quote:
Originally Posted by KLC2018 View Post
Thanks, Jjrose- I just saw your reply.

I don’t think head count was the reason because she was teaching someone else’s class but either way, I have decided just to let it go and let it be whatever it will be or not.
If she was teaching, then it would be in her best interest to get the head count up too since she would be getting paid for that class not the person she was filling in for.
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Old 03-27-2019, 02:52 PM
 
32 posts, read 15,264 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jjrose View Post
If she was teaching, then it would be in her best interest to get the head count up too since she would be getting paid for that class not the person she was filling in for.
Okay, so let’s say you’re right and I have been reading into this... I want to change it. Can I? Basically what I posted above...
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Old 03-27-2019, 08:04 PM
 
Location: Riverside Ca
22,146 posts, read 33,353,142 times
Reputation: 35433
Quote:
Originally Posted by KLC2018 View Post
Hi, all!

Wow. I mean, I would say that I’m typically great at reading people but I have been having a little conundrum.

I started taking a class at my gym and totally enjoy the instructor. I’m gay. She has been married to a man. I have been taking her classes for a few months and we ended up having a great chat after class one day and she mentioned that she and her hubby are separated and she asked for my number and said, “Let’s hang out sometime.” She already knew I was gay when she said that. That was a couple of months ago and I asked her if she wanted to go to coffee sometime and she said sure!! That hasn’t happened either but we are both busy people. We tend to talk after class every time we have class and walk out together. Once in awhile, I have to walk out before her because she is doing something and I feel like a dweeb if I wait for her but we have spoken so much that I would also feel weird to just say goodbye and walk away. That wouldn’t be like me anyway.

I really like this person and would like to get to know her more but I also literally can’t figure out if I’m making up a connection between us. She definitely isn’t afraid of me having a crush on her because she will ask me to help tighten her sports bra, etc.

We have had a lot of really good conversations but they all seem to be in passing as we have never had coffee or anything. I don’t actually know the status of her relationship and I want to have total respect for that and I also don’t know if she is interested or just being friendly. I thought she was gay when first met her. She set off my gaydar right away but I respect that she may not be.

So, that is where we stand. She seems to enjoy talking to me and sometimes I really feel that and then there are nights like tonight where I feel like a dweeb waiting for her like I’m too eager.

We don’t talk about relationships except that we both admitted that we have relationships that evolved into
friendships. So, sometimes I feel like we are connecting on the same level and other times I feel like a major dork that is off-base. She isn’t much into texting either and so we don’t do much of that but she went out of her way last weekend to tell me she was subbing for a class and that I should come down.

I feel like a kid, I swear. Like I haven’t done this a bunch of times in my life. Any thoughts?

Thank you!
Look...go out as friends. I mean you can have a friend right. It can be a friend date. It doesn’t have to be romantically or sexually involved date. If she’s thinking or could be a suppressed gay tendencies then if you guys like each other I’m assuming a gay relationship starts off just like a hetero relationship. With dates possbly hangung out then moving on to making out etc. I’m talking about two people who are looking to start a relationship not hookup.com relationship
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Old 03-27-2019, 08:08 PM
 
Location: Riverside Ca
22,146 posts, read 33,353,142 times
Reputation: 35433
Quote:
Originally Posted by KLC2018 View Post
Hi, all!

Wow. I mean, I would say that I’m typically great at reading people but I have been having a little conundrum.

I started taking a class at my gym and totally enjoy the instructor. I’m gay. She has been married to a man. I have been taking her classes for a few months and we ended up having a great chat after class one day and she mentioned that she and her hubby are separated and she asked for my number and said, “Let’s hang out sometime.” She already knew I was gay when she said that. That was a couple of months ago and I asked her if she wanted to go to coffee sometime and she said sure!! That hasn’t happened either but we are both busy people. We tend to talk after class every time we have class and walk out together. Once in awhile, I have to walk out before her because she is doing something and I feel like a dweeb if I wait for her but we have spoken so much that I would also feel weird to just say goodbye and walk away. That wouldn’t be like me anyway.

I really like this person and would like to get to know her more but I also literally can’t figure out if I’m making up a connection between us. She definitely isn’t afraid of me having a crush on her because she will ask me to help tighten her sports bra, etc.

We have had a lot of really good conversations but they all seem to be in passing as we have never had coffee or anything. I don’t actually know the status of her relationship and I want to have total respect for that and I also don’t know if she is interested or just being friendly. I thought she was gay when first met her. She set off my gaydar right away but I respect that she may not be.

So, that is where we stand. She seems to enjoy talking to me and sometimes I really feel that and then there are nights like tonight where I feel like a dweeb waiting for her like I’m too eager.

We don’t talk about relationships except that we both admitted that we have relationships that evolved into
friendships. So, sometimes I feel like we are connecting on the same level and other times I feel like a major dork that is off-base. She isn’t much into texting either and so we don’t do much of that but she went out of her way last weekend to tell me she was subbing for a class and that I should come down.

I feel like a kid, I swear. Like I haven’t done this a bunch of times in my life. Any thoughts?

Thank you!
Look...go out as friends. I mean you can have a friend right. It can be a friend date. It doesn’t have to be romantically or sexually involved date. If she’s thinking or could be a suppressed gay tendencies then if you guys like each other I’m assuming a gay relationship starts off just like a hetero relationship. Let her become comfortable with the thought and imagery of being with another woman. With dates possibly hanging out then moving on to making out etc if you both feel it. I’m talking about two people who are looking to start a relationship not hookup.com relationship. Don’t start the date by humping her leg
If she isn’t interested in that way so what. You still made a friend
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Old 03-27-2019, 08:10 PM
 
32 posts, read 15,264 times
Reputation: 28
Quote:
Originally Posted by Electrician4you View Post
Look...go out as friends. I mean you can have a friend right. It can be a friend date. It doesn’t have to be romantically or sexually involved date. If she’s thinking or could be a suppressed gay tendencies then if you guys like each other I’m assuming a gay relationship starts off just like a hetero relationship. With dates possbly hangung out then moving on to making out etc. I’m talking about two people who are looking to start a relationship not hookup.com relationship
I would be totally fine with that. I don’t think she is interested in that just yet. I have opened the door by asking her to coffee. She just has to walk through. She hasn’t yet so perhaps that means she isn’t interested in hanging out. Perhaps that means she is busy. I have no idea what it means but I would be perfectly fine hanging out as friend. The trouble is that she has been hard to read. Really friendly in person but she has not taken me up on hanging out or doing anything more than talking on the way to our cars. I can’t possibly know how she feels but I don’t want to be less friendly as I do want to be her friend. I just don’t want her to think I am being too awkward around her. I would take friends for sure if she was into that. LOL at the “humping her leg” part ��
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