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One of the last women I dated was indeed 40 and told me specifically in these words, "I can count on one hand how many men I've had sexual relations with".
Oh my gosh, I think I know her, Anne right? She told me the same thing, only back when she was in her early 20s.
By the way, that was an attempt at humor. But her name was Anne. : )
Last edited by GhostOfAndrewJackson; 03-31-2019 at 11:06 AM..
This type of debate about older women started because there are many people (both men and women) who don't maintain themselves as they age (which is more difficult as you grow older). This impacts women a lot more than it impacts men unfortunately as men place a much higher value on physical attractiveness.
If you take care of yourself, go to the gym, and try to at least eat reasonably healthy, then age shouldn't be a problem.
Wow, really? I thought part of dating and the before sex conversation was a frank discussion of number of sexual partners, last time you were checked for social diseases, HIV, and herpes II, riskier behaviors (needle sharing), drug use in general, bi-sexuality, and any sexual fetishes. Then you go home and evaluate the information so an honest and dispassionate assessment is made (and time for testing if needed) before proceeding to sexual intimacy.
Nope. Discussion occurs of course, but when I was dating in my 40s a discussion about the number of sexual partners? Never. It would serve absolutely no purpose. No one ever asked me if I use intravenous drugs either. That would be hilarious. Never asked about bisexuality either.
I have NEVER, ever been asked those things.
Have discussed STD testing and such.
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Nope. Discussion occurs of course, but when I was dating in my 40s a discussion about the number of sexual partners? Never. It would serve absolutely no purpose. No one ever asked me if I use intravenous drugs either. That would be hilarious. Never asked about bisexuality either.
I have NEVER, ever been asked those things.
Have discussed STD testing and such.
Interesting. I have had that conversation with every woman except my first love (and probably because of her - seriously).
I must disagree that it serves no purpose, but it may serve no purpose to you but it may to the other party. In which case you decline to answer and then logically they decline to pursue the relationship further and both parties part company amicably. My point is some people weigh these things differently. Personally I am more interested in the way people answer the questions than the actual answer. The answer matters, but you learn a great deal about people from the way they handle uncomfortable conversations.
The fact that you never encountered this, tells me you did an excellent job of screening that allowed you zero in on the companionship of like minded individuals.
Thanks for the informative response. It was very interesting.
I am 40 years old and I've gotten mixed messages about my age and relationship prospects. I think I look very well for my age as I'm often mistaken by men and women for my late 20s to early 30s. I've been told I have a nice body etc.. I'm educated with 2 graduate degrees and 2 jobs. I think I'm a decent person. Perfect no but I am kind to others and when it comes to guys I am always being open minded and try to be non-judgemental even if I feel they aren't for me. I've been told that some guys will think I have alot of "mileage". I've only been in 5 sexual relationships in my lifetime.
But some men have told me I'm a lost cause because I'm 40 and old. Further, that no man will really want ME but only my body at this point. While some say 40 isn't old and I allegedly still have my life ahead of me. No, I do not have children but I am physically able to with IVF. I realize this may not be idea for some men but I don't think I'm a complete dud....though I have my moments like now.
What do you guys think? Are 40 year old women only good enough for sex and not a relationship? Are we just old hags? Or, is there hope for us?
Interesting. I have had that conversation with every woman except my first love (and probably because of her - seriously).
I must disagree that it serves no purpose, but it may serve no purpose to you but it may to the other party. In which case you decline to answer and then logically they decline to pursue the relationship further and both parties part company amicably. My point is some people weigh these things differently. Personally I am more interested in the way people answer the questions than the actual answer. The answer matters, but you learn a great deal about people from the way they handle uncomfortable conversations.
The fact that you never encountered this, tells me you did an excellent job of screening that allowed you zero in on the companionship of like minded individuals.
Thanks for the informative response. It was very interesting.
Cheers.
I'm not sure how my response led to ascertaining that I must have done a lot of screening.
But you are absolutely correct.
I found it tortuous to be on a date with someone I did not find appealing and the easiest way was to chat with them for a couple weeks to determine compatibility. It made it easy to weed them down to men I genuinely liked.
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Just start doing activities that are stuffed full of affluent 40-something professional guys and relatively few women. I ski. At the ski resort, it's a total sausage fest. A fit 40 year old woman is going to have no problem meeting people. Sailing is also like that.
Excellent point. I've always met guys (at every age) doing physical hobbies. Arts and crafts---ain't gonna happen.
Nope. Discussion occurs of course, but when I was dating in my 40s a discussion about the number of sexual partners? Never. It would serve absolutely no purpose. No one ever asked me if I use intravenous drugs either. That would be hilarious. Never asked about bisexuality either.
I have NEVER, ever been asked those things.
Have discussed STD testing and such.
Me, either. How weird is that. I regretted telling my ex-husband even.
I don't think so. I'm just not one for "dating". So, I am pretty ok being single at this stage in my life. Although, I keep my heart open. Frankly, I just want him to show up and we click and it just takes off from there. I've had friends tell me that when they were just about to give up and resign themselves to being single forever, their guy showed up when they least expected it. I'm hopeful, but happily single at the moment.
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