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I am 40 years old and I've gotten mixed messages about my age and relationship prospects. I think I look very well for my age as I'm often mistaken by men and women for my late 20s to early 30s. I've been told I have a nice body etc.. I'm educated with 2 graduate degrees and 2 jobs. I think I'm a decent person. Perfect no but I am kind to others and when it comes to guys I am always being open minded and try to be non-judgemental even if I feel they aren't for me. I've been told that some guys will think I have alot of "mileage". I've only been in 5 sexual relationships in my lifetime.
But some men have told me I'm a lost cause because I'm 40 and old. Further, that no man will really want ME but only my body at this point. While some say 40 isn't old and I allegedly still have my life ahead of me. No, I do not have children but I am physically able to with IVF. I realize this may not be idea for some men but I don't think I'm a complete dud....though I have my moments like now.
What do you guys think? Are 40 year old women only good enough for sex and not a relationship? Are we just old hags? Or, is there hope for us?
Absolutely not. I am 44 years old and every single time I thought "No one would want me because of <fill in the blank>", I have been wrong. Every. Single. Time.
These guys that told you this garbage, I wouldn't even wipe my behind with their opinions. They don't speak for every single solitary man out there. Please don't internalize what they say, and keep your standards high.
I am 40 years old and I've gotten mixed messages about my age and relationship prospects. I think I look very well for my age as I'm often mistaken by men and women for my late 20s to early 30s. I've been told I have a nice body etc.. I'm educated with 2 graduate degrees and 2 jobs. I think I'm a decent person. Perfect no but I am kind to others and when it comes to guys I am always being open minded and try to be non-judgemental even if I feel they aren't for me. I've been told that some guys will think I have alot of "mileage". I've only been in 5 sexual relationships in my lifetime.
But some men have told me I'm a lost cause because I'm 40 and old. Further, that no man will really want ME but only my body at this point. While some say 40 isn't old and I allegedly still have my life ahead of me. No, I do not have children but I am physically able to with IVF. I realize this may not be idea for some men but I don't think I'm a complete dud....though I have my moments like now.
What do you guys think? Are 40 year old women only good enough for sex and not a relationship? Are we just old hags? Or, is there hope for us?
Are you going to let these sad sack males predict your future? They're not worth your time OP. Without trying too hard I can bring to mind several women friends and relatives who met the love of their life at 40 or older. One met and married my uncle when both were past 60. Both of my sisters had their kids later...one at 38, the other at 41. A colleague of mine wanted to raise a child but didn't really want a "mate". She adopted an orphan from somewhere overseas at about age 43. Both their lives changed for the better partly because she bucked the "trend".
That's the thing about assumptions; they're usually wrong.
Last edited by Parnassia; 03-28-2019 at 12:42 AM..
Nah , not at all, great age, especially if your good for your age .
And to me personally , not having had kids would just be a bonus especially physically but baggage as well, plus all the things that come with a single woman with kids, and then it's grand kids and it never ends.
Good luck with everything anyway.
Everyone will sooner or later make the experience, that somebody will reduce him or her to his age number. And yes, this feels pretty hurtful as noone has chosen to be as old as one is.
But in my view, that after making this experience once or a few times themselves, people will maybe less often judge others by their age or even ask about it. Because they now understand, how that feels.
If you look younger than your age and assuming you are like a 30 year old woman, then does the number need to matter?
Its a different story, when men tend to only want your body. But thats not a problem of age, but of dating habits.
I am 40 years old and I've gotten mixed messages about my age and relationship prospects. I think I look very well for my age as I'm often mistaken by men and women for my late 20s to early 30s. I've been told I have a nice body etc.. I'm educated with 2 graduate degrees and 2 jobs. I think I'm a decent person. Perfect no but I am kind to others and when it comes to guys I am always being open minded and try to be non-judgemental even if I feel they aren't for me. I've been told that some guys will think I have alot of "mileage". I've only been in 5 sexual relationships in my lifetime.
But some men have told me I'm a lost cause because I'm 40 and old. Further, that no man will really want ME but only my body at this point. While some say 40 isn't old and I allegedly still have my life ahead of me. No, I do not have children but I am physically able to with IVF. I realize this may not be idea for some men but I don't think I'm a complete dud....though I have my moments like now.
What do you guys think? Are 40 year old women only good enough for sex and not a relationship? Are we just old hags? Or, is there hope for us?
So, you have been a busy woman with two jobs and school and now you are ready to settle down?
That’s great you look younger than 40. Honestly though, it’s whats inside that really counts. Want Your Thoughts on a Lady
There are men everywhere who would find you a catch. Don’t be discouraged.
The older you get the more the games and whatever the younger generation does fades. It’s relaxing to know you can go have a hot beverage with an older person and be past the foolishness of youth.
Be the aggressor. Ask a gentleman at the grocery store for help locating something. A lot of guys may think you are taken. Let them know you are not.
There's woman, and then there's the "performance" of woman. The more you confuse being a woman worthy of a loving sexy relationship, with the performance of woman, like the way you look, or the economic/scholary accomplishments, or your youth/lack of youth, the more you'll find that echoed in the people you meet.
No amount of years or aging can ever take away from the genuine woman that you are, and youth cannot make you more of a woman. A man's attention cannot make you more of a woman, and his ignorance or dismissal cannot make you less of one, either. If you feel that all you're attracting is men who are seeing you as an object that is supposed to mimic whatever ideal they are clinging to in their mind, then stop looking at yourself through the male gaze. Go inward!
Find out where you've taken on beliefs that cultural, social, and economic powers are invested in you keeping...that your worth is first and foremost to be generically titillating and pleasing to men, in the hopes of attracting that special one. This is a false narrative and a zero sum game in the long run.
Be yourself, love yourself, delight in yourself: FOR YOU. For yourself, be the female version of that Dos Equis beer commercial's "most interesting man". Not objectifying yourself for men's approval is so, so, SO good. I wish I could put that feeling in a bottle and send it to you right now, because once you really know it, you can never, ever go back. I've had it for many years, but it still is just...amazing.
And interestingly, the special man DOES tend to show up, when you know--and live from--your true worth. He walks into your life like he's just been waiting there the whole time. Waiting for the real woman, the real you
I wish you the very best!
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