What's it like to date a cop? (wives, boyfriend, married)
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My guy was a regular guy, except he had big time authority. IDK about today's breed but back in the '70s they weren't paramilitary yet. He also was killed in the line of duty before we got married.
I wouldn't either. I worked at a police department for five years. It was the 90s, not half as stressful as it is these days. The divorce rate among the officers was high; many were on their third marriages. There was a lot of not very well hidden cheating going on, and a great many groupies who just couldn't resist flirting and more with a man in a uniform. I heard from some of the wives about how their husbands would get off duty at 2:30 AM and bring the guys back home for cards and drinking until dawn. It's a high stress career and a lot of the time, their personal lives suffer for it.
I dated a female cop years ago. She was fine with the relationship but her male cop friends thought she should date a fellow officer and completely ignored me in social settings. Tough "fraternity" to break into.
I read a thesis that was written by a former psychology major in which she described her research in the statistics that women who date or marry policemen suffer a higher rate of domestic violence. The conclusion she reached was that it's a high stress environment which doesn't lend itself easily to a happy home life.
I like cops. I like cop-type personality. Throw in a little sarcasm...sounds good to me. Never dated one though, only called a couple in emergencies.
Despite what I said when I posted the links above, I've gotta say that every police officer I've interacted with when they were in uniform and doing their jobs, has been really nice to me. I've never had a problem with one. The only exception was that I was, with my boyfriend, visiting a friend of his once who was really close friends with a cop. This man was talking very "off the record" and I did not like how he was going on. Very cynical, everybody was a "scumbag" and bragging about beating people down and basically he was a large bully with a gun. It was extremely nasty.
But I'm sure I did not meet him at his best, as he was going through a divorce at the time.
Still. It did make me wonder if all of the "very nice, polite" cops I'd dealt with in the few occasions I've had to, were very different people when they were out of uniform.
I'm sure that there are many police officers who never do the terrible things I see stories about...but I also think that those who do, tend to face no real consequences for it, or at least nothing like what civilians would, and sometimes there's just no excuse for that. Any man could beat his wife. Not any man could easily get away with doing so.
But I also have experience with a soldier who developed serious mental issues, so when I dated another vet and he seemed hyper-vigilant and always seeing danger everywhere and felt like he had to be armed and ready to defend me or himself all the freakin' time... I was like, "Calm down, dude. You're making me nervous." Because the whole world made him nervous. It was exhausting. He (the second vet, that I only dated a while) was a really, really good man...just not right for me. I suspect that police officers can develop some of the same issues.
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