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Location: As of 2022….back to SoCal. OC this time!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by srjth
If you're going to do a long-distance relationship with someone you met on the internet, you'd better be prepared for lots of deception, mistrust, and above all else, drama.
That is why the internet is only a tool to meet...& you meet up in real life to see if it will work or not. If you can't make some weekends work to spend some real time together to see if it has some potential or not, then you are wasting her time..........or she is wasting yours....or both.
If you meet someone in a grocery store, you don't keep the relationship in a grocery store... The only way to know if it can work as a real relationship is to date. Dating involves being in real life together & maybe someday....moving to where the other person is.
You do not have a girlfriend. What you have is a pen pal.
Lift up your eyes from the computer screen and talk to the actual people all around you.
Yes.
Quote:
Originally Posted by TashaPosh
That is why the internet is only a tool to meet...& you meet up in real life to see if it will work or not. If you can't make some weekends work to spend some real time together to see if it has some potential or not, then you are wasting her time..........or she is wasting yours....or both.
If you meet someone in a grocery store, you don't keep the relationship in a grocery store... The only way to know if it can work as a real relationship is to date. Dating involves being in real life together & maybe someday....moving to where the other person is.
I've seen people conduct long-distance online relationships where they have flown to each other to see each other whenever they could and carried on this way for a few years, only to find out that when the time came to move to where the other person was, neither of them could do it due to obligations they had at home or financial difficulties. So it's a big risk, imo. Unless you don't want to be bothered with a real relationship anyway, in which case, it's FUN!
Location: As of 2022….back to SoCal. OC this time!
9,297 posts, read 4,580,042 times
Reputation: 7613
Quote:
Originally Posted by srjth
I've seen people conduct long-distance online relationships where they have flown to each other to see each other whenever they could and carried on this way for a few years, only to find out that when the time came to move to where the other person was, neither of them could do it due to obligations they had at home or financial difficulties. So it's a big risk, imo. Unless you don't want to be bothered with a real relationship anyway, in which case, it's FUN!
If someone knows they can't move....or has no intention of ever moving....then they need to to be honest about what they are looking for & limit their search to people who are more local to their area. A few yrs would be too long for me to invest without seeing the guy on a more regular basis to back up what is happening on the phone or in video....anything beyond 6 months to a yr is too much time, IMO cause then it becomes..."why can't you meet" or "what are you hiding"....or what is this really about to you?
Check out youtube as others suggest. Full of examples of women who look nothing like themselves without makeup. Keep in mind, some of her images could be heavily photoshopped.
Location: As of 2022….back to SoCal. OC this time!
9,297 posts, read 4,580,042 times
Reputation: 7613
Quote:
Originally Posted by augiedogie
Check out youtube as others suggest. Full of examples of women who look nothing like themselves without makeup. Keep in mind, some of her images could be heavily photoshopped.
That's why you meet real life...or stop wasting time...& it works both ways. Men lie too...so she needs to see him in real life too. Get in video.
I'll try to be straight forward. I've been talking to a girl from England in a long distance relationship. She's great, love her personality and I know she likes me back. Trouble is....I found a picture of her with no makeup, and it wasn't a selfie or photoshopped. Out of all her pictures it's the only one I don't like. I'm just confused how she can look like a 10 in selfies but a 5 in that pic? Am I seeing reality or is it just 1 bad pic?
Let's assume this is a sincere, non - poop-stirring post, and describes a real scenario, versus a trolly lightning rod designed to stir up outage re: "10s" and "5s" and such. Just for argument's sake.
1. You don't know her personality, so you don't know if it's great. You know a crafted online persona... Which may or may not coincide with someone's actual personality.
2. You have never met or spent any time with her. So, the relationship only goes so deep. Until you actual meet, literally everything is a hypothetical.
3. When you enter into interactions with people that are never in person, you're at the mercy of how open and honest that pertain desires to be.
4. People, across all contexts, generally share flattering photos, and don't share unflattering ones. This is life.
5. Makeup can be used to drastically alter appearance ; this is why it is used theatrically. Most people understand this. Something as simple as altering your brow shape can make you look completely different. It seems unlikely that a hideous person will become ravishing with a few makeup tricks alone, so odds are, this person is like most others... Makeup will enhance features she wants enhanced. If that alone makes her half as attractive to you without makeup as without, that actually says more about you and the realisticness of your expectations. It is possible that you don't like how SHE looks, you like how heavy makeup looks. Because if the makeup she's wearing literally doubles her attractiveness, it's heavy makeup. A little lipgloss and mascara doesn't spur that kind of difference.
I appreciate the feedback. It did cross my mind to ask for pics but I don't want to make her uncomfortable. I do want to meet but I'd hate to go 5000 miles to meet someone I'm not attracted to. Yikes!
Welcome to the world of meeting people online. It's a risk you take. Many people do it, and finding out the connection's not there in real life is sometimes an u surprising outcome. Not everyone does it where a transatlantic distance is involved, but that's your call.
I will submit that you mention explicitly that you're attracted to her personality. Ostensibly, that attraction, should remain, assuming it carries over to in - person interactions. Sometimes it doesn't... People who are confident and comfortable and glib online are sometimes less so in person.
You do not have a girlfriend. What you have is a pen pal.
Lift up your eyes from the computer screen and talk to the actual people all around you.
This. Seriously, OP.
Find some activities in your community or neighboring communities that are well-attended by women, and get involved. Mix. Mingle. Chat. Enjoy. Be patient. You can also use online dating sites to scope out people in your general vicinity. If you're in a rural location, you may have to cast a wide net. But you shouldn't have to cast all the way across an ocean. Be practical and realistic.
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The only way to know if it can work as a real relationship is to date. Dating involves being in real life together & maybe someday....moving to where the other person is.
