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Not sure whats the proper way to approach this, but I just want her to try to trail ride a few times with me, but she is scared of them; but I assure her she wont get hurt and I will stick to easy trails. So I came up with an idea about it, for every easy trail she completes I can remodel a section of the house and maybe she will come to like it. haven't done this yet, but just a thought. Not sure of any other way so I am hoping for some feedback and ideas on what to try.
but before yall so quick to judge like another post I made, I tend to revolve anything I do to her and make her happy, so we travel a lot and go to places a lot and usually her picks...but one thing I would love for her to do with me is to maybe try a trail ride with me (a few times with me) and if she dont end up liking it, then fine. but just trying to get her to initially start is the hard part and refuses to try. I mean is this a closed book and should I just forget it, or is there a way to maybe change her thoughts on offroading?
I mean like most of you know, sharing the same interests with your spouse is usually one of the best things and most satisfying thing to do, so that is what I am trying to do for me. She does not really have a hobby though, and if she did, I probably would pick it up and do it with her.
I was also think maybe start her off mountain biking; i dont know. All I know is, she is a very timid scared person, and I think that is what is preventing her from doing anything outdoors with me (primarily motorized, hiking, mountain biking) So wondering if anyone been in the same situation as me and probably there was a way your spouse was able to overcome that fear and got interested?
Mountain biking and ATV riding aren't exactly the same thing. lol
Me personally, if MY husband said "For every trail riding thing you do on an ATV, I'll remodel part of the house" I'd jump on it, when it comes to an ATV. (I've ridden ATV's...it'd be a GREAT trade off to me. LOL ) But if you told me mountain biking...that'd be a hard 'no' from me.
Do you know of a place where she can practice on the ATV? She might be more comfortable with the trail riding thing, if she can get familiar with her ATV first.
Mountain biking and ATV riding aren't exactly the same thing. lol
Me personally, if MY husband said "For every trail riding thing you do on an ATV, I'll remodel part of the house" I'd jump on it, when it comes to an ATV. (I've ridden ATV's...it'd be a GREAT trade off to me. LOL ) But if you told me mountain biking...that'd be a hard 'no' from me.
Do you know of a place where she can practice on the ATV? She might be more comfortable with the trail riding thing, if she can get familiar with her ATV first.
ha ha yeah MTB is a bit different, but just something we can do together. I was even thinking of telling her doing the dishes for an entire 2 week instead of turns. just would mean so much to me if she ended up liking it. I understand there is a chance she will never like it, and after a few rides, then so be it and im fine, but just want her to try.
yeah I know a lot of places where its super flat easy, do cliffs or anything scary. but just trying to best way to make it "enjoyable" or not so "scary" for her. But not sure of "how" to get her to do something she is so scared of and make it enjoyable
If she's a timid person who doesn't like the outdoors, I don't know that you're going to get her to become a daredevil. And you definitely shouldn't keep score or withhold normal household duties to bribe her into your hobbies. How have you expressed your interest in having her join you?
You could try what Sassy mentioned--having her sit on an ATV at a dealership or in a parking lot. That way, there's an easy out, and she wouldn't feel stranded on a trail or feel like she has to go through with something she absolutely doesn't want to do to please you.
Don't be a bribing bully. If the house could use remodeling and you can afford it don't make it conditional.
Maybe she can go with you and watch you ride and see how easy and not scary it is. If she is exposed to it and still doesn't want to, leave her alone.
so I am not bribing yet.. lol i thought maybe more of a trade off or something. I mean I am still remodeling the house regardless. Was thinking something else we can trade off? kind of why I am asking here because I am not sure what to do. exchange for riding trails with me, treat her to the spa or something? I dont know.
do laundry for 2 weeks instead of take turns? lol
so here is the thing, she will ride with me, but I would like her to get her own and we can enjoy the day together us 2
If she's a timid person who doesn't like the outdoors, I don't know that you're going to get her to become a daredevil. And you definitely shouldn't keep score or withhold normal household duties to bribe her into your hobbies. How have you expressed your interest in having her join you?
You could try what Sassy mentioned--having her sit on an ATV at a dealership or in a parking lot. That way, there's an easy out, and she wouldn't feel stranded on a trail or feel like she has to go through with something she absolutely doesn't want to do to please you.
yes she is a very timid person, so I am not sure if thats something she can overcome. I mean if she will never like riding one in the long run, im fine with that but just would like to see if she would slowly ease into it.
I can try that. I can take a day just sit in the parkinglot and have her sit on it a few times get out etc little tiny baby steps
but no I am definitely not withholding house chores I know better lol. Just seeing if its a good idea to have some kind of trade off. like take her to the spa for doing something, or take her to another vacation of her choice etc. remodeling the house a bit quicker was just an idea is all
Well, OP, if she has a phobia about it, there's nothing you can do. How about going biking with her in local parks a few times, then work up to biking on easy trails, really easy, and then see what she says about tackling more challenging trails. I'm talking about bikes, not an ATV, which may seem intimidating, not to mention--noisy. Just figure, that if you can get her on a bike in a park, that's something. Rome wasn't built in a day. Just enjoy some basic, leisurely rides with her. Then move up to unpaved trails, but pretty flat ones. See how that goes. Baby steps.
If the reason you'd like her to do this is really so you can enjoy something together, explain that. You also need to then be open to the idea that doing something together thst you both enjoy might look like something else entirely. You need to be ok with that. Maybe you BOTH need to try new things.
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