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I'm not male, but I am a human. If I said something like this,"So gets back to today saying, he didn’t say he didn’t wanna be with me, I just don’t understand him and if I can’t accept it, there is nothing he can do about it, so it’s up to you."
Here is what I would mean:
I didn't say I wanted to break up. I also didn't say I didn't. I am pretty ambivalent about it. Because I'm ambivalent, I'm not going to put a lot of effort into this. Take what I feel like giving you. I'm not going to work at this. I'm not going to worry about getting back to you immediately or soothing you because I didn't text you fast enough or used the wrong word according to you. I'm not responsible for your feeling good or bad. I'm happy to hang around for now for the sex (or whatever), but when something easier comes along I'll be gone. Oh, and I don't want to be the bad guy and do the actual breaking up so I'm leaving it up to you.
Oh, and yeah, as an American that has been to therapy with very good reason, I really find your passive-aggressive comment about therapy ignorant. Very few therapists believe in or use psychoanalysis which is a type of therapy used by Freudians. A good therapist can teach a person to function on their own, be a listening ear and help one see some things for what they are not what one's "head" tells them they are.
I need want him back.
I’ve tried to change him when I should have accepted him for he is.
I got greedy because he improved so much from the beginning and
I kept pushing for more
I think if I didn’t say anything last night there would’ve a hope but because I literally send a lot of text messages he now thinks I’m a Psycho b.
He broke up with you in a vague manner. I don't think there was ever any hope.
Once someone says they no longer want to be with you, let it go. What will you accomplish by begging or talking it over? At best, they may agree to stay... but they won't want to. Do you want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with you? Who is only with you because they feel bad or they worry you'll do something terrible? That's not a relationship... that's you trying to fool yourself, and them miserably going along to help feed your delusion. But soon enough you'll be back in this same place.
You want to know if he wants to be with you. No. The fact that he's not been contacting you as much lately, then makes excuses, tells all. Let me guess, he's been "busy" lately, right? People who want to contact you make time to do so, even if they're busy. In my experience and that of people I know, when a man says he's "busy" that's code for "I'm not that into you." If a guy starts saying that to me, whether he's a significant other or a friend, I know we're pretty much done.
I'm not male, but I am a human. If I said something like this,"So gets back to today saying, he didn’t say he didn’t wanna be with me, I just don’t understand him and if I can’t accept it, there is nothing he can do about it, so it’s up to you."
Here is what I would mean:
I didn't say I wanted to break up. I also didn't say I didn't. I am pretty ambivalent about it. Because I'm ambivalent, I'm not going to put a lot of effort into this. Take what I feel like giving you. I'm not going to work at this. I'm not going to worry about getting back to you immediately or soothing you because I didn't text you fast enough or used the wrong word according to you. I'm not responsible for your feeling good or bad. I'm happy to hang around for now for the sex (or whatever), but when something easier comes along I'll be gone. Oh, and I don't want to be the bad guy and do the actual breaking up so I'm leaving it up to you.
Listen commentators, with all due respect,
I don’t need to be psychoanalysis, either answer the question or just leave my thread alone.
Plus I’m British, we don’t all have therapist.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gemma25
True or not, you’re not helping with my question.
You're not listening.
We've answered your questions several times in several different threads. There is something very wrong with your thinking and your behavior. You are deeply insecure and there is nothing wrong with getting help on how to manage that. You will never find a satisfying relationship until you learn to get your self worth/esteem from YOURSELF and learn to think for yourself. This cycle will keep repeating itself until you get a grip.
He say he does not want to be with me
He said, “it’s up to up to me” And that’s what’s so confusing.
because raised with things I was not happy.
Translation, please.
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