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The reasons why were implied in the sentences preceding.
Otherwise why even bother mentioning kick boxing, etc?
And wishing they had waited implies that they would do things different if they could.
Right?
I did kickboxing when my kids were little. And yoga. And swam for the Master's team. And trained for triathlons. And did pilates, etc. The kids had their swimming lessons and art classes and their mini-camps for almost nothing in cost. The YMCA *includes childcare* in the membership fees. Two hours' worth in the morning and the same in the afternoon/evening. The break alone, in childcare, was worth the fees.
Kickboxing is not that exciting, btw. :P I wouldn't call it a "life experience."
This is something I never understand... why does becoming a wife and/or mother seem to mean the end of varied life experiences? The only thing I feel like I "missed" was living with a gaggle of roommates in a big city... but I did work hard to avoid needing roommates, and wanted to live alone in a medium city. I missed out on forming close friendships with a group of other women- I couldn't have gathered some lady-crowd to go "out" on any given night. I don't have a "lady-tribe/#squad." I have a few close friends and don't look for new ones.
But my mother travelled with me and alone. And I've travelled with my children and alone. I go out to karaoke and salsa dancing and lectures... (the flying, surfing, etc. doesn't appeal to me at all lol) and I don't know why enjoyable things are somehow taken off the table when a woman becomes a wife/mother. It doesn't need to be that way... is it a new virtue, to be an unnecessary martyr to motherhood? The kids don't need that and don't want it and don't like it either... Mom always up their rear. Let Mom enjoy herself and give everyone the opportunity to miss each other.
To be fair, I would have travelled MORE if I hadn't become a wife and mother at 21/22, but it wasn't such a drastic change that I lament it happening. And now, my friends who are just getting married and having kids are looking back to those "freedom" days with such nostalgia... to them, those days are over and they're completely tiny-person centric. It's like fun and raising children MUST be experienced only as consecutive seasons, rather than concurrent. If that's the case for so many, no wonder they're miserable.
Being a wife and mother IS a life experience. And it doesn't mean the end of other life experiences unless they make that CHOICE. If they don't want to stop, why make the choice to stop doing other things?
Very well said! I recall an almost too proudly independent woman that overabundant made it known on FB that she advised it's "It's good to be single, because you can travel" or something to that effect.
My comment was, "I know couples that travel, so...not sure what your'e talking about, lol" Her friends (married friends) concurred with me.
Not sure how being coupled up can keep you grounded indefinitely.
I’m thankful I’m married everyday and wouldn’t have it any other way.
I will say the single most challenging thing on our relationship and marriage has been having children. Again I love it but it’s certainly a challenge.
Their mistake wasn't becoming wife/mother.
Their mistake was doing it on a limited income or with limited imagination.
We do all that stuff and more...with kids.
So did my parents.
So do a lot of people.
But it depends on the situation. Some parents have no energy, time, or money to have hobbies. It's easier to do what Sydney mentioned without children. Pretty easy to understand.
But it depends on the situation. Some parents have no energy, time, or money to have hobbies. It's easier to do what Sydney mentioned without children. Pretty easy to understand.
Or... without a husband. Lol
My point was geared more towards the OP. I didn’t/don’t feel behind because I’ve yet to marry and have children. I just had other priorities. And from what I’ve heard and witnessed from my married friends ... I don’t
feel like I’ve been remiss for waiting. I have nothing against marrying and having kids. And I know that traveling with kids is possible, but to me.... it still puts a hitch in your giddy up to an extent. I witnessed a lot of couples who were traveling with children... and about 200 pounds of their gear. Clothes, strollers, car seats, diaper bags, formula..... I used a single carry on bag. Lol When I was working for the airlines... I could just hop on a jet on a whim and take off for a weekend or a week. I could spend money that in a lot of cases couples that are married with kids needed to use that money for other things.
How many average couples who married young and had kids could drop 30k learning to fly airplanes or just take time off work to travel? Bottom line... priorities!
It is more acceptable in 2019, than any other time in history, to make your own choices and do what's best for you. We are getting past doing what everyone else does, because "that's just what you do".
The key is, if you're not happy, it is on you to find what will make you happy, and it shouldn't require putting down other people's life choices, that have nothing to do with your life, in order to make you feel better.
One of my biggest mistakes in life came from doing what I believed was the right thing after my son was born because "that's just what you do" but I have two more kids that I cherish so I can't completely regret it. Life is definitely not one size fits all and some of us do indeed wear a size too big or too small before we figure out what we really do need.
How many average couples who married young and had kids could drop 30k learning to fly airplanes or just take time off work to travel? Bottom line... priorities!
To be fair, the kind of people who have children and can't afford them wouldn't have the money to drop $30K regardless. And those who can afford them and do have them probably don't want to. They save it up and drop it into a home instead.
I am equally appalled to see all the gear some people bring with them. But many don't... you just don't notice them because they don't have it. Travelling is not that expensive. Round-trip to Europe for a few hundred dollars is fairly frequent. Some babies/children are really easy to travel with and they get better with practicing consideration at home, then in public. One flight, the stewardess didn't notice I had a baby until I started breastfeeding her because she was in my wrap. It just looks like a black, drapey shirt and I had a cardigan on. She may have thought I was fat or doing that satchel-in-front thing. lol. Diapers, a slim wipe case, a spit up cloth, a binkie, and a change of clothes don't add much bulk to a backpack. I didn't have much "gear" at home either. That wrap saved me a lot of hassle, with all three kids. I like to travel and so, we did. It was not a huge ordeal. I was already a stay-at-home mom. I didn't have to take off work.
Last summer, I was on the first leg of a flight to North Africa with a layover in Paris. This poor mother and her THREE children, 3 and under, were alone because they wouldn't let her husband through... 5 months until his passport expiration. (He had to stay in NY to get an expedited one and they couldn't get the flights changed.) She was a pro and the kids were great... she just couldn't fit more than one other child in the bathroom with her AND didn't want to leave the others alone. She used a wrap too, a sturdy backpack leash that connected the oldest one's to hers (SO good; they didn't have this when mine were little), and breastfed. I was happy to help her out and lay out my legs so the little one didn't slide out of her seat as she slept. But really, she was fine. The kids were fine. They were all used to travelling with Mom.
To be fair, the kind of people who have children and can't afford them wouldn't have the money to drop $30K regardless. And those can afford them and have probably don't want to. They save it up and drop it into a home instead.
I am equally appalled to see all the gear some people bring with them. But many don't... you just don't notice them because they don't have it. Travelling is not that expensive. Round-trip to Europe for a few hundred dollars is fairly frequent. Some babies/children are really easy to travel with and they get better with practicing consideration at home, then in public. One flight, the stewardess didn't notice I had a baby until I started breastfeeding her because she was in my wrap. It just looks like a black, drapey shirt and I had a cardigan on. She may have thought I was fat or doing that satchel-in-front thing. lol. Diapers, a slim wipe case, a spit up cloth, a binkie, and a change of clothes don't add much bulk to a backpack. I didn't have much "gear" at home either. That wrap saved me a lot of hassle, with all three kids. I like to travel and so, we did. It was not a huge ordeal. I was already a stay-at-home mom. I didn't have to take off work.
Last summer, I was on the first leg of a flight to North Africa with a layover in Paris. This poor mother and her THREE children, 3 and under, were alone because they wouldn't let her husband through... 5 months until his passport expiration. (He had to stay in NY to get an expedited one and they couldn't get the flights changed.) She was a pro and the kids were great... she just couldn't fit more than one other child in the bathroom with her AND didn't want to leave the others alone. She used a wrap too, a sturdy backpack leash that connected the oldest one's to hers (SO good; they didn't have this when mine were little), and breastfed. I was happy to help her out and lay out my legs so the little one didn't slide out of her seat as she slept. But really, she was fine. The kids were fine. They were all used to travelling with Mom.
Bottom line... priorities.
Gosh... seems like I hurt some feelings. Lol
I worked as an airline ticket agent for 5 years ( most of it international flights) and more people that traveled with kids carried more gear for kids than didn’t. I checked in many traveling families... and their luggage. Are you trying to tell me that a travel is as cheap for a family of 3 or 4 than for one? Or chasing around 3 kids is easier than not chasing three kids around? She sounds like a great mom, and handled things as best she could.. no doubt, but she still had three kids under three to deal with. You yourself even called her “poor mother”. Might not have been an issue for her, but it’s not as easy or as cheap as traveling single. As previously stated I am neither anti-marriage or kids. I am trying to get pregnant myself as we speak. (Well not right this second cause I am posting here lol)
Kids need to sleep, kids need to eat, kids need attention... Nothing wrong with that and I am sure many people do it successfully, but they can be restrictive if your plans revolve around their needs. Just sayin. When I have kids... I’ll travel with them and I’ll be happy to do it no matter what it takes... that wasn’t my point.
Well , all depends yeah.
lf it all works out then yeah , maybe great , maybe not so in so many.
All l know is after 19yrs and it falling to pieces ya just look around and think just wtf ????
Then you get out into the world again and you realize there are so many out there that all just went through the same thing, same cycle too, and again your just thinking just wtf.
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Good post! 
