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Old 05-14-2019, 04:33 AM
 
Location: Philippines
1 posts, read 709 times
Reputation: 12

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We're in LDR about 5 months, he said he still loves me when he broke up, I had a chance to talk to him after he dropped the bomb on me, I was never ready for it. I asked him if he doesn't love, if he found someone else, etc until it narrowed down to him no longer can handle the distance between us, he says he keeps falling in love with me but he knows he will never be able to see me, touch me, go out with, he just can't see how the things will unfold, ever. So instead of keeping what we have, fighting what we have, he decided to let go of me. I was so lost, I don't know where to start, a month later I still find myself crying over him. But I have this faith that everything will be alright, that if this is meant to happen then it happened for a reason, I'm gonna learn from it, I know I will move on with my life with or without him. Share your thoughts, thank you!
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Old 05-14-2019, 04:37 AM
 
Location: Tricity, PL
61,197 posts, read 86,065,277 times
Reputation: 130929
How far are you apart? Where he lives?
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Old 05-14-2019, 12:50 PM
 
108 posts, read 72,787 times
Reputation: 105
Sassy, I think I know where he coming from but I need to know more information from you:

How long have you been together before he broke it off? Has it been months? years? How is the money? Which countries do you both live in? I need to know this before coming to a conclusion.
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Old 05-14-2019, 12:54 PM
 
3,009 posts, read 2,201,760 times
Reputation: 10783
There are a lot of people who either can't or choose not to do LDRs. I'm sorry that seems to be the case here.
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Old 05-14-2019, 01:20 PM
 
108 posts, read 72,787 times
Reputation: 105
Quote:
Originally Posted by gus2 View Post
There are a lot of people who either can't or choose not to do LDRs. I'm sorry that seems to be the case here.
I know that there are people who simply don't do LDR's but they usually don't go into them in the first place if they didn't want it. In this case, by the sounds of it, they were OK with an LDR for some time before he broke it off. I want to know how long exactly they been together. I was once in a 3 year long LDR relationship that I rapidly saw coming to an end simply because we didn't have the money or means to meet each other in real life. We broke it off and stayed friends (before one day shutting her out of my life completely).

It sounds like she genuinely loved him. Thing is also, we don't know what went through his mental state during the course of the relationship. Did he want you to come to him? Or you to him? either way? This mostly comes down to financials and life circumstance which are things I would like to know more about.

Edit: I can't read apparently. 5 months? He broke it off really early in the relationship. Usually I give it a year or two to see where things go.
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Old 05-14-2019, 02:17 PM
 
2 posts, read 1,240 times
Reputation: 20
What possibly happened is that, he met someone that is closer in distance. He can still genuinely love you, however, feel the need to be in a relationship with someone closer. Let's be honestly, it is cheaper, however, cheaper is not always better. Sometimes people do things to keep them busy until they can do better. I am not saying that this is the case, I'm just saying. In the meantime, I pray that God will sustain you as you heal from this ordeal.
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Old 05-14-2019, 03:18 PM
 
6,711 posts, read 4,694,509 times
Reputation: 25745
LDRs are not very practical. Particularly if it is a LDR from the beginning. For people that are involved before one or both need to relocate, and if they have a plan for how long they will be apart, it may be just fine. Military families, people attending school, etc., can work because at least the participants have an idea of how long they will be apart.

If you haven't met in real life it's not a real relationship. Call it a virtual relationship or call it silliness, but calling it off is the sane thing to do. Why should anyone put their real life on hold for a relationship with someone that isn't around?
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Old 05-14-2019, 04:02 PM
 
108 posts, read 72,787 times
Reputation: 105
Quote:
Originally Posted by E-Twist View Post
LDRs are not very practical. Particularly if it is a LDR from the beginning. For people that are involved before one or both need to relocate, and if they have a plan for how long they will be apart, it may be just fine. Military families, people attending school, etc., can work because at least the participants have an idea of how long they will be apart.

If you haven't met in real life it's not a real relationship. Call it a virtual relationship or call it silliness, but calling it off is the sane thing to do. Why should anyone put their real life on hold for a relationship with someone that isn't around?
So basically in your opinion LDR's can work under very specific situations? 1. There has to be an end date of some kind 2. They preferably should be done with someone you met in person before saying it is a relationship and not the other way around? What about haven't met yet but there is a clear end date? Would you still have to meet before declaring a relationship?
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Old 05-14-2019, 06:44 PM
 
6,711 posts, read 4,694,509 times
Reputation: 25745
If people have not met in real life, have not spent time doing things together, have not seen each other in various situations, have not seen each other at their worst, I would certainly find it difficult to see it as a real relationship. It is very easy to put on a good act, to always be at your best when you are only texting and Skyping. Even people that live together for years find out new things about each other from time to time.

This is just my opinion. Some people may feel that a LDR is just as good as a relationship as one with with a person you can touch and do activities with, have meals with, meet their friends and relatives, enjoy sex with, etc. I don't see why people would want to settle for a life of crumbs instead of having a banquet.
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Old 05-14-2019, 07:11 PM
 
Location: a primitive state
11,368 posts, read 24,338,315 times
Reputation: 17366
I have a very sensitive friend who was in an LDR with a guy in Australia for a long time. It was unlikely they’d ever meet.

At some point, she moved into a house full of mixed gender friends from high school and the guy broke it off with her because he couldn’t handle the idea she might hook up with one of the guys in the house. She was temporarily devastated but soon realized what a paranoid and controlling person he was.

Within a year she met a cool, handsome, and compatible guy through mutual friends. They now live together quite happily.
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