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Old 05-14-2019, 05:52 PM
 
10,341 posts, read 5,866,286 times
Reputation: 17886

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Sorry, I wouldn't trust anyone with that much experience lying to me. I have found if a guy gets caught lying, he just gets better at it. (If he's a liar).

“The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior.”
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Old 05-14-2019, 06:02 PM
 
6,456 posts, read 3,978,943 times
Reputation: 17205
Quote:
Originally Posted by ADogNamedSam View Post
Check his glove compartment for a "burner" phone.
This. He's super-open about letting you look at his phone? Then he probably has another one. Yup, I've heard that story before.


Quote:
Originally Posted by mariesm View Post
Thank you. I don’t know why everyone jumps to “break up with him” right away. If you’re in a relationship with someone you love dearly and you know they love you, you’re not going to end that relationship with them because they made a mistake in the beginning of the relationship. Relationships are work and they always will be work. There’s always room for improvement and growth. So many relationships and marriages end right away because people think a mistake means it’s the end of a relationship. Depending on the mistake this isn’t necessarily true. My boyfriend has been very supportive and helpful during my healing process but that’s just it, it’s a process and I know it will take time. I guess I just came into this forum for comfort and I thank you because you’re the only one that’s provided that.
He "loves" you but he goes after other women not once, but twice (telling them he wants to marry them when he's already in a relationship, no less). He lies to you not once, but twice. That's a pretty damn big "mistake." Twice. But, go ahead and wait for the next time if you want. Because you're going to anyway.


Quote:
Originally Posted by mariesm View Post
Well that’s your opinion which you are entitled to. So thank you for your input.
No, really, why did you post if you don't want other people's opinions?
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Old 05-14-2019, 06:02 PM
 
9,375 posts, read 6,977,761 times
Reputation: 14777
So in a millennial world texting = cheating ?


Just asking for a friend...
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Old 05-14-2019, 06:07 PM
 
Location: In a place beyond human comprehension
8,923 posts, read 7,721,626 times
Reputation: 16662
Quote:
Originally Posted by RbccL View Post
Sorry, I wouldn't trust anyone with that much experience lying to me. I have found if a guy gets caught lying, he just gets better at it. (If he's a liar).

“The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior.”
I agree.

Certain things shouldn't be overlooked or "forgotten" so to speak. It irritates my soul when people try to use the, "everyone has a past," excuse in certain circumstances.
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Old 05-14-2019, 06:19 PM
 
108 posts, read 73,192 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SWFL_Native View Post
So in a millennial world texting = cheating ?


Just asking for a friend...
It was the context of the messages. Saying "We will get married" and sending other very inappropriate messages is cheating in my opinion.
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Old 05-14-2019, 06:39 PM
 
2,020 posts, read 1,124,293 times
Reputation: 6047
Quote:
Originally Posted by LandscapeAritst View Post
It was the context of the messages. Saying "We will get married" and sending other very inappropriate messages is cheating in my opinion.
Exactly.

The guy is a classic con. He probably uses the same words for all of his women until he ropes one in.
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Old 05-14-2019, 06:40 PM
 
2,020 posts, read 1,124,293 times
Reputation: 6047
Quote:
Originally Posted by SWFL_Native View Post
So in a millennial world texting = cheating ?


Just asking for a friend...
Post your texts to other women and we will let you know.
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Old 05-14-2019, 06:44 PM
 
Location: Southern California
12,773 posts, read 14,983,025 times
Reputation: 15337
I wish a TON more women were strong so these men will know that they can't treat women like this. This is so incredibly infuriating.

Quote:
Originally Posted by AnnaGWS View Post
Dump him and don't look back. I would not even give him the satisfaction of another conversation with you. You are allowing this to happen to you. Just stop talking to him. You will feel bad now, but in a couple of months you will feel great.

This is not about you being good enough. It is about him being a lying, cheating pig. You deserve better. Go find a man who is honest, loving, and faithful.
Couldn't have said the words better myself! However...the last sentence stating, "You deserve better. Go find a man who is honest, loving, and faithful." I'm not so sure if YOU deserve that because you obviously don't think highly of yourself & have enough self-esteem to be a strong woman since you keep allowing yourself & enabling him to treat you like trash, so go ahead & stay, you're the one who has to hurt & wonder what he's up to now, wonder who he's texting now, wonder who he's going to really see when he says he's going out, etc., etc., etc.

Didn't your parents teach you anything like how NOT to allow anyone to treat you any kind of way?! I'd rather be ALONE in which I'd be MUCH HAPPIER than see a lot of the guys I see when I'm out & about & definitely including this guy YOU have here! So keep him, he's no prize!

You shouldn't have continued dating him when you found out about the 2 girls he was texting 2 mos in. Now where has it gotten you in staying? It's a wasted year now & he's still never straightened up his lying, sneaky @sS yet. It's who he is. You could be the hottest girl on 2 feet, but he's obviously not the faithful type. And having a baby by him won't hold him down...never does, so don't make that mistake.

Quote:
Originally Posted by mariesm View Post
No I do not want to dump him because we live together and have a dog. He knows what he did was wrong, I didn’t let him off easy, and I made it clear if it happened again he would be single. We are happy, we’ve always been happy. I’m not going to dump him because he did something wrong 10 months ago and something I know I will get over.
So you live together & have a dog together, so the hell what. Be your own woman & kick his @$S to the curb. This only shows that you need him & he knows that, so he'll treat you horrendously. He gets to have his cake & eat it too. You're allowing him to keep sleeping w/ you & have your companionship, which he doesn't deserve AT ALL & whenever you get mad at him here & there over whatever new BS he's done, it's no big deal to him, he's off sleeping w/ God knows how many others anyway then crawls back to you like the waste of space slime that he is & giving you his empty, fake-@s$ apologies.

Quote:
Originally Posted by mariesm View Post
I do yes, but I also have a therapist who in my opinion is more helpful because they provide an unbiased opinion to the situation
All us here give unbiased opinions too & no one needs a Masters or a PhD to tell you that he's a bum loser. What the hell is this crazy therapist telling you?! Whoever it is needs to be encouraging you to get rid of this a-hole. This therapist has been taking your $$ telling you what you want to hear & not helping w/ squat.
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Old 05-14-2019, 07:41 PM
 
1,058 posts, read 676,440 times
Reputation: 1844
You are not going to be able to trust him. You didn't do anything wrong. Dump him and move on.
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Old 05-14-2019, 10:42 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
49,927 posts, read 59,944,601 times
Reputation: 98359
Quote:
Originally Posted by mariesm View Post

It will just take lots of time and patience!
Well, it will take much more than that.

You’re saying a lot of the right things, but it feels like you’re trying to talk yourself into it. It’s hard to be confident when someone has betrayed you like that. You’re both too young for this, and it likely won’t be the last time. You’re playing house when just a short time ago he clearly wasn’t ready for this level of commitment.

I think your BF has more growing up to do.
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