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So I asked a guy from one of my activity groups out for coffee. He hadn't been at our group in a while so I did it over FB Messenger. He responded within 12 hours that he'd be up for coffee - but we were both traveling a lot over the next month so agreed to postpone until things were less chaotic. We exchanged a few breezy messages while we were on our respective jaunts.
I IM'd him when we are both back in town, and it looks like he received the message, but he never responded. After a week, I just sent him a quick IM that there were no hard feelings and left it there.
I asked him out because there seemed to be some mutual attraction and shared values/interest. We got along pretty good in our interactions. And because we attend the same group activity, I didn't want things to be weird and I gave him multiple outs for turning me down. But a month later he just doesn't respond at all? We're not kids, and this just seems pretty crappy.
I'm not that chapped about it, but I was looking forward to our date and am kind of left wondering why he would act like that. It's just WEIRD. He seemed like a decent and pretty mature person, but his behavior doesn't jive with that, frankly. And it's not like this was a fraught situation or the stakes were that high.
He got cold feet? Maybe he hasn't been at your group for awhile because he has times where he isn't feeling very social.
I get that. It might be even as I'm leaving my car to got to the appointed meeting place, all of a sudden I get scared for no reason and think: "What the hell did I say I'd do this for?!" Usually if I really don't want to do something I'll say I'm really busy right now though.
He didn't say no, ask him again if you really wanted to see him?
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,938 posts, read 36,797,099 times
Reputation: 40634
Quote:
Originally Posted by Auraliea
Just another one of those things.
Just
Yup, happens all the time. Heck, I was recently asked (by someone I'd been out with a few times a year ago) and agreed and then she fizzled and disappeared after asking me. I happens. Not worth thinking about.
Yup, happens all the time. Heck, I was recently asked (by someone I'd been out with a few times a year ago) and agreed and then she fizzled and disappeared after asking me. I happens. Not worth thinking about.
Yeah, I know. Your situation is just as strange. But I went to great lengths to make sure I did this so that things would not be weird because I have a deepseated fear of "pooping where I eat" as this group is very important to me. And then he kinda goes and makes it weird by going dark on me for no reason whatsoever.
So I asked a guy from one of my activity groups out for coffee. He hadn't been at our group in a while so I did it over FB Messenger. He responded within 12 hours that he'd be up for coffee - but we were both traveling a lot over the next month so agreed to postpone until things were less chaotic. We exchanged a few breezy messages while we were on our respective jaunts.
I IM'd him when we are both back in town, and it looks like he received the message, but he never responded. After a week, I just sent him a quick IM that there were no hard feelings and left it there.
I asked him out because there seemed to be some mutual attraction and shared values/interest. We got along pretty good in our interactions. And because we attend the same group activity, I didn't want things to be weird and I gave him multiple outs for turning me down. But a month later he just doesn't respond at all? We're not kids, and this just seems pretty crappy.
I'm not that chapped about it, but I was looking forward to our date and am kind of left wondering why he would act like that. It's just WEIRD. He seemed like a decent and pretty mature person, but his behavior doesn't jive with that, frankly. And it's not like this was a fraught situation or the stakes were that high.
Whatever.
Maybe it's not you, maybe he has lost his phone, or something like that. Just sayin', it could be a simple technical problem. Do I think that is likely? No, not really. But it is a possibility.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,938 posts, read 36,797,099 times
Reputation: 40634
Quote:
Originally Posted by JrzDefector
Yeah, I know. Your situation is just as strange. But I went to great lengths to make sure I did this so that things would not be weird because I have a deepseated fear of "pooping where I eat" as this group is very important to me. And then he kinda goes and makes it weird by going dark on me for no reason whatsoever.
Don't invest so much thought/energy into things outside your control. You can only control you and your actions. Serenity prayer. I'm not religious/superstitious, but there is tons of wisdom in its concept. You did what you did, he did what he did, move on... the end.
So I asked a guy from one of my activity groups out for coffee. He hadn't been at our group in a while so I did it over FB Messenger. He responded within 12 hours that he'd be up for coffee - but we were both traveling a lot over the next month so agreed to postpone until things were less chaotic. We exchanged a few breezy messages while we were on our respective jaunts.
I IM'd him when we are both back in town, and it looks like he received the message, but he never responded. After a week, I just sent him a quick IM that there were no hard feelings and left it there.
I asked him out because there seemed to be some mutual attraction and shared values/interest. We got along pretty good in our interactions. And because we attend the same group activity, I didn't want things to be weird and I gave him multiple outs for turning me down. But a month later he just doesn't respond at all? We're not kids, and this just seems pretty crappy.
I'm not that chapped about it, but I was looking forward to our date and am kind of left wondering why he would act like that. It's just WEIRD. He seemed like a decent and pretty mature person, but his behavior doesn't jive with that, frankly. And it's not like this was a fraught situation or the stakes were that high.
Whatever.
Sorry that happened. It probably has nothing to do with you. You just never know what is going on in someone's life. Perhaps he has a health scare, or a loss in the family, or job stress. Or maybe he met someone else. You just never know. Don't take it personally.
Nah, for me that's a rookie mistake.
When somebody goes cold on you, then drop it like a rock.
Maybe it is cold feet, but maybe it isn't, maybe there's a reason you don't know, illness, family drama or something and he would have messaged you later.
Maybe he's read some of the stupid sh** on here and is playing some soty of game and trying not to seem too keen.
But now you sent what can easily be construed as a passive aggressive message and maybe burned bridges.
Maybe now you'll never know.
But then again, equally, maybe now you don't need to care
Quote:
Originally Posted by JrzDefector
After a week, I just sent him a quick IM that there were no hard feelings and left it there.
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