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All those couples are atypical though and not a good representation of the general population. They are living completely different lifestyles, can afford and have access to many different resources the general public does not have. We're speaking in terms of the average couple (income, age, maturity level, general relationship patterns, typical lifestyles, etc.)
Alright Auraliea, when does it become nobodies business when a young woman gets married? EVERYONE'S story is unique.
It's not about whether she's particularly mature or not. There are people in these forums who are likely twice as old as this young woman, and, IMO, don't make the wisest choices. That's life.
My whole point is, no one should be diminishing her right to make her choices. To me, it gets uncomfortably close to the idea that women in general, are not capable of making adult choices, and need to be steered for their own good.
Alright Auraliea, when does it become nobodies business when a young woman gets married? EVERYONE'S story is unique.
It's not about whether she's particularly mature or not. There are people in these forums who are likely twice as old as this young woman, and, IMO, don't make the wisest choices. That's life.
My whole point is, no one should be diminishing her right to make her choices. To me, it gets uncomfortably close to the idea that women in general, are not capable of making adult choices, and need to be steered for their own good.
I won't take away from your point. But all of this just proves the earlier point I made before. If he didn't feel the need to share this relationship with the public, nobody could judge them or form their own opinions of it. Barely anyone would know these people existed. No one is going to have the same emotional investment they do in their relationship, so why share it? People are just going to form their opinions and judgments then go home without giving them a second thought.
I just don't believe truly happy and secure people feel the need to explain their happiness and their choices to others. They'd be too busy cherishing it. If it was me in that situation I would want to cherish that relationship in its purest most authentic form as possible, without it being tainted by the opinions and judgments of others. So I would keep it to myself. But that's just me. I feel when couples open themselves up to this type of scrutiny it can mess with the dynamic and cause second guesses.
I wish more parents would advise their young daughters to get married to more affluent seniors. Maybe luck out and find those with a generous pension to go alone with considerable assets. Double bonus.
I won't take away from your point. But all of this just proves the earlier point I made before. If he didn't feel the need to share this relationship with the public, nobody could judge them or form their own opinions of it. Barely anyone would know these people existed. No one is going to have the same emotional investment they do in their relationship, so why share it? People are just going to form their opinions and judgments then go home without giving them a second thought.
I just don't believe truly happy and secure people feel the need to explain their happiness and their choices to others. They'd be too busy cherishing it. If it was me in that situation I would want to cherish that relationship in its purest most authentic form as possible, without it being tainted by the opinions and judgments of others. So I would keep it to myself. But that's just me. I feel when couples open themselves up to this type of scrutiny it can mess with the dynamic and cause second guesses.
Everyone is different. When love is new, people are often over-joyed and thrilled. It's often a relatively short stage of being...but still valid. It enivitably gets old for the listener though. LOL
By 20 everyone has already found their identity. No one grows or changes their beliefs. Everyone should definitely move out of the house by 20 and mapped out their career and financial objectives.
I agree with Sassy that this is really their business, And I agree that we should assume the best. But then they sort of asked for people to weigh in by being so public about it.
I'm nearing 62, so I'm this guy's contemporary. I don't get it from his perspective. Do I find this woman attractive? Yes. If by some chance she were attracted to me (grammar nerds notice I used the subjunctive mood) would I want to act on our mutual attraction? Yes. But even a fling would feel odd to me as a healthy and fit 61 + yr old. I'm happy with a woman my age, but I could picture myself with a woman maybe 45. Meaning there's a place in my imagination where that image doesn't stand out like a cold sore. Beyond that kind of a gap, definitely a cold sore. And then imaging the next decade, or two. Can't see it. And that's thinking of myself only.
If I cared for her, I couldn't be comfortable with the future she'll almost inevitably face. I (he)
will be old soon, and likely frail or on the threshold of frailty in 15-20 years. I hope they've thought that through on their own and talked about it together. In detail.
At least she will be better off financially when/if something happens to her husband(grandfather). Not everything is going to be rosy in the latter stages but she will be well compensated for the time she spent with him. I really hope this couple gives updates every year about how their 'love' keeps growing.
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