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Over a year ago he died suddenly and unexpectedly. I would give up all that I have to be interrupted and receive a call from him about something random. And I wish I had kept some of those silly voicemail messages. Regretfully, I don't have a single recording of his voice on my phone. Oh how I wish I had not deleted his voice mail messages, I would love to hear his voice again.
Quite the story. I am sorry.
Sometimes we do not know what we have until its gone. Best wishes to you in the future.
Sometimes we do not know what we have until its gone. Best wishes to you in the future.
True, and thank you for your kind wishes.
Regarding the OP's issue with sharing location on phones, it never came up for discussion with my husband and I. But if he had asked me to share my location with him, I would have without hesitation, why wouldn't I if it brought him peace of mind? And vice versa.
When l read the post l wondered wtf you were talking about at first.
Never done it in my life wouldn't even know how and couldn't be bothered with it anyway.
I wanted to get your take on this. My wife and I periodically argue (not vehemently) about location sharing with the iPhone, and a few other things.
I'll preface this that while our marriage is far from perfect and we do have our challenges as a couple, concerns about infidelity or trust issues regarding dishonesty aren't among them. So it isn't as if one of us has a legitimate concern about the others conduct.
I asked my brother who has been married longer than I have and he said "Absolutely not. No one needs that information." I feel the same way. I didn't at first but a few random things about how she used it irritated me so I turned it off.
But my wife wants me to share my location. She has mostly mundane reasons for it, but in refusing to share it, you get to the topic of "why don't you want to share? That's shady that you'd want to conceal that from my wife."
I'll say that while we don't know each other's passwords to everything we've never hesitated to tell the other a password if they asked, and we could get on the other's phone and look at it. No one has ever demanded a password and no one has demanded to see the others phone. I don't have a problem with her being on my phone, she doesn't have a problem with me being on hers.
The other thing, what's your take on declining your spouses call? Obviously if its work hours it happens. But a big one happens when she's working a weekend night or if I'm travelling for work. She calls and if I'm eating I don't want to pick it up, or otherwise rush her off the phone. Her feeling is that "I'm your wife and you should answer the phone, i'm not as important as the stupid sports bar." My feeling is that I don't want my food getting cold and I don't want to leave the place to hear her. Drives me nuts. Or if I'm walking or go to the dog park. I've taken to not bringing the phone wiht me at all.
I just wanted to see what other people's thouhgts are on this.
You are chaffing at your electronic leash and collar. You have come to realize that instant availability to every inane little thing is meaningless and a PITA.
Every single one of us is living proof you can live just fine without ANY of this instant demand on our attention. All of our families lived this way before these technologies were mainstream. None of us would be here if you could not survive just fine without it.
Each of us has to decide if you are the slave or the master of this technology. I refuse to be a slave. I am readily available when I am. Unavailable when I'm not. Some people can't deal with that. I just don't care.
You have to decide how much power over your life that you will give this technology. If you decide it's less than what society or family deem the current standard, you will take flak for it. Eventually they will begin to realize that it's "just how you are" and the flak will die down.
OP, like you, in our marriage we have nothing to hide. Having said that, and maybe it's because I grew up as an only child, but there are just some things in life that I want to have my own "thing" on. One of them is my correspondence. My husband and I have our own emails and other accounts. We gladly share passwords etc. But I would never like the feeling that I'm being "watched" even though I have nothing to hide. It's the principle.
Another thing I abhor is talking on the phone while in a restaurant eating. I don't care if it's just a fast food joint. Don't want to do it. I would not be happy with a demand that my spouse wants me to be available to talk at his wanting. It's not right and it's controlling. If it was an emergency, a text to say the water pipe broke call me NOW is sufficient. To chat, no. Just wait.
I agree with the poster above. It's an electronic leash and collar.
We find it to be a convenience when it comes to timing for certain things (one example - when I'm driving home from work, he can see where I am to know when to put the burgers on the grill) and for safety's sake (one example, I would walk our dog after he left for work but before the sun would come up so it was pitch dark. One day, I had two extended meetings as soon as I go into work and couldn't respond to email/text/phone calls, and he was worried that something bad had happened to me while walking the dog. This was actually the catalyst for sharing locations).
And yes, sometimes there is the nosey factor.
But there are other couples who are vehemently opposed to it, and that's okay, too.
Declining Calls:
Yes, there are times when we decline one another's call. If we're able, we'll shoot a quick text "Eating dinner. I'll call you when I'm done." or "In line at the grocery store. I'll call you in a bit." otherwise we just assume the other will call back when they can.
I wanted to get your take on this. My wife and I periodically argue (not vehemently) about location sharing with the iPhone, and a few other things.
I'll preface this that while our marriage is far from perfect and we do have our challenges as a couple, concerns about infidelity or trust issues regarding dishonesty aren't among them. So it isn't as if one of us has a legitimate concern about the others conduct.
I asked my brother who has been married longer than I have and he said "Absolutely not. No one needs that information." I feel the same way. I didn't at first but a few random things about how she used it irritated me so I turned it off.
But my wife wants me to share my location. She has mostly mundane reasons for it, but in refusing to share it, you get to the topic of "why don't you want to share? That's shady that you'd want to conceal that from my wife."
I'll say that while we don't know each other's passwords to everything we've never hesitated to tell the other a password if they asked, and we could get on the other's phone and look at it. No one has ever demanded a password and no one has demanded to see the others phone. I don't have a problem with her being on my phone, she doesn't have a problem with me being on hers.
The other thing, what's your take on declining your spouses call? Obviously if its work hours it happens. But a big one happens when she's working a weekend night or if I'm travelling for work. She calls and if I'm eating I don't want to pick it up, or otherwise rush her off the phone. Her feeling is that "I'm your wife and you should answer the phone, i'm not as important as the stupid sports bar." My feeling is that I don't want my food getting cold and I don't want to leave the place to hear her. Drives me nuts. Or if I'm walking or go to the dog park. I've taken to not bringing the phone wiht me at all.
I just wanted to see what other people's thouhgts are on this.
My first thought - your wife is controlling...
How long are you married?
I don't share my location (I m not a kid or a dog that needs to be tracked), nor answer my phone during a meeting, when I am really busy at work, with a client, driving in busy traffic, while eating my meal in a restaurant. I do will call back as soon I can, though.
Insisting on all that is rude, inconsiderate and controlling.
We also have an agreement, if there is something super urgent - house on fire, an accident etc. yes call me ASAP no matter where I am or what I am doing. Everything else less important goes per text message - and when I see it it's up to me to respond immediately, or wait till I can.
I agree that tracking someone is a waste of energy but its for the individual to decide. I'm wondering why its such a big deal that you wont share your location? If it makes her feel better than why not?
Declining calls. If you're busy then its expected. But declining for no reason is a red flag.
So looking at the big picture....You don't want to share your location and you don't want to answer her calls...i would assume you're fooling around.
OP, like you, in our marriage we have nothing to hide. Having said that, and maybe it's because I grew up as an only child, but there are just some things in life that I want to have my own "thing" on. One of them is my correspondence. My husband and I have our own emails and other accounts. We gladly share passwords etc. But I would never like the feeling that I'm being "watched" even though I have nothing to hide. It's the principle.
Another thing I abhor is talking on the phone while in a restaurant eating. I don't care if it's just a fast food joint. Don't want to do it. I would not be happy with a demand that my spouse wants me to be available to talk at his wanting. It's not right and it's controlling. If it was an emergency, a text to say the water pipe broke call me NOW is sufficient. To chat, no. Just wait.
I agree with the poster above. It's an electronic leash and collar.
Funny, I go to walk the dog and I'll tell her, if she asks if I'm bringing my phone, "The dog has an electronic leash, I don't " (Dog has a gps/e-collar.)
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