Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Quick background: I'm divorced (co-parent with ex equally) and been with my girlfriend for 2 years. We both have kids, don't live together, but get together with our kids frequently and even vacation together. Our kids get along well together, although her kids don't among each other.
Recently after a trip together, my daughter went back to her mom with a large bruise on her arm. While on a ride at a theme park, my daughter was smushed against my gf's daughter on the ride, and her girl pinched mine in a playful but aggressive way to get her off. It wasn't malicious and my daughter didn't seem too bothered by it.
Of course when my ex saw she was concerned that there was something more going on. She also shared that the kids told her that my gf's kids fight a lot, and sometimes they feel in the middle trying to defend one kid vs. the other. So my ex has her guard up now that my kids are being affected negatively around her kids.
She asked that I speak to my gf about her kids physical actions (which I'm OK with), but also asked that they get each other's phone #s in case they need to contact each other. I honestly don't feel comfortable with that, and feel that any concerns should continue to go through me (she said she wouldn't be reaching out about this). Do you think it is fair of my ex to expect to have her contact info?
Quick background: I'm divorced (co-parent with ex equally) and been with my girlfriend for 2 years. We both have kids, don't live together, but get together with our kids frequently and even vacation together. Our kids get along well together, although her kids don't among each other.
Recently after a trip together, my daughter went back to her mom with a large bruise on her arm. While on a ride at a theme park, my daughter was smushed against my gf's daughter on the ride, and her girl pinched mine in a playful but aggressive way to get her off. It wasn't malicious and my daughter didn't seem too bothered by it.
Of course when my ex saw she was concerned that there was something more going on. She also shared that the kids told her that my gf's kids fight a lot, and sometimes they feel in the middle trying to defend one kid vs. the other. So my ex has her guard up now that my kids are being affected negatively around her kids.
She asked that I speak to my gf about her kids physical actions (which I'm OK with), but also asked that they get each other's phone #s in case they need to contact each other. I honestly don't feel comfortable with that, and feel that any concerns should continue to go through me (she said she wouldn't be reaching out about this). Do you think it is fair of my ex to expect to have her contact info?
I think it's practical for your ex to have your current GF's number. You may not think it's fair, but I really can't think of a reason why. I absolutely would expect to have the contact info of someone who is around my children frequently in that kind of situation, especially overnight.
I feel for your kids. It can't be fun to be forced to hang around siblings who don't get along. And FYI any pinch that leaves a bruise isn't playful.
Quick background: I'm divorced (co-parent with ex equally) and been with my girlfriend for 2 years. We both have kids, don't live together, but get together with our kids frequently and even vacation together. Our kids get along well together, although her kids don't among each other.
Recently after a trip together, my daughter went back to her mom with a large bruise on her arm. While on a ride at a theme park, my daughter was smushed against my gf's daughter on the ride, and her girl pinched mine in a playful but aggressive way to get her off. It wasn't malicious and my daughter didn't seem too bothered by it.
Of course when my ex saw she was concerned that there was something more going on. She also shared that the kids told her that my gf's kids fight a lot, and sometimes they feel in the middle trying to defend one kid vs. the other. So my ex has her guard up now that my kids are being affected negatively around her kids.
She asked that I speak to my gf about her kids physical actions (which I'm OK with), but also asked that they get each other's phone #s in case they need to contact each other. I honestly don't feel comfortable with that, and feel that any concerns should continue to go through me (she said she wouldn't be reaching out about this). Do you think it is fair of my ex to expect to have her contact info?
You're their parent. When they are with you, kids are your responsibility. Therefore, your ex should call you. There's no law that says you can't have a compartmentalized relationship with your ex and gf.
Didn't realize children never got a bruise playing with other kids.
If your GF's kid pinched my kid hard enough to bruise there would be Hell to pay. Why are you not protecting your child from these children? It sounds like you are more interested in keeping your relationship with your girlfriend than caring about what happens to your daughter.
Status:
"I don't understand. But I don't care, so it works out."
(set 6 days ago)
35,623 posts, read 17,953,728 times
Reputation: 50641
I don't know about "hell to pay", because kids will be kids, and bruises occur. As long as these aren't continued bruises that happen frequently.
Any more than there would be "hell to pay" if a child came home once from school with a pinch bruise. You can get past it, if it happens very infrequently.
It does sound like your girlfriend's children are aggressive, with each other and with your kids. Maybe set up a parent meeting?
I think it's practical for your ex to have your current GF's number. You may not think it's fair, but I really can't think of a reason why. I absolutely would expect to have the contact info of someone who is around my children frequently in that kind of situation, especially overnight.
I feel for your kids. It can't be fun to be forced to hang around siblings who don't get along. And FYI any pinch that leaves a bruise isn't playful.
I think it's practical for your ex to have your current GF's number. You may not think it's fair, but I really can't think of a reason why. I absolutely would expect to have the contact info of someone who is around my children frequently in that kind of situation, especially overnight.
Yes, it would definitely make practical sense for your ex and your GF to have each other's numbers, just in case there's an emergency.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
