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Your confidence should be based on you, not what others think about you. Go for what you want, not what you think others think you should want.
This. You ignore the flack, unless you're behaving offensively in some way, that you're not aware of.
But OP, you haven't responded to the questions at the beginning of the thread; what are you doing to get out and meet new people, mix and mingle, and make some friends and build a social life? Do you have friends? Have you been able to make friends before (school, college, neighborhood)? How do people treat you at work? Are you shy or introverted, or socially awkward? We have no idea what the problem could be. Some physically unattractive people are able to overcome that limitation by coming out of their shell, and making efforts to be engaging, and fun or interesting.
Could you give us a little more info to go on, as we try to offer advice?
In the past, people who have posted pics of themselves for feedback end up with their thread transferred to the "Beauty" forum. It's not considered to be a "Relationships" topic.
And the sticky in the Fashion & Beauty forum warns not to do it. City-Data is many things, but outside geographic and real-estate issues, meant to be helpful isn't one of them.
And the sticky in the Fashion & Beauty forum warns not to do it. City-Data is many things, but outside geographic and real-estate issues, meant to be helpful isn't one of them.
Not the site's fault. Blame the people who can't control themselves when talking about a controversial topic.
Weight? I don't think most conversations about individual's looks historically went bad here. They usually are polite and sometimes valuable on other sites.
Maybe not a popular opinion but I don't think there are many differences in attractive vs unattractive. Unless you are really going out of your league. And I mean really. If you don't know how to play the game it will be hard regardless of the looks.
l dunno what it is about forum people but it's always all about attractive, as if 90% of the population and couples out there are models or close.
Yet the reality is vise versa .
As l've said a dozen times in forums, doesn't anyone look at the typical couples on the street or in any shopping mall or in people they know.
Average can be anything , tall short chubby fat skinny and attractiveness wise well l'd say average would be well well well below even close to what you'd call attractive .
l dunno , people asking or talking this kinda stuff must walk round with their eyes closed , really.
l dunno what it is about forum people but it's always all about attractive, as if 90% of the population and couples out there are models or close.
Yet the reality is vise versa .
As l've said a dozen times in forums, doesn't anyone look at the typical couples on the street or in any shopping mall or in people they know.
Average can be anything , tall short chubby fat skinny and attractiveness wise well l'd say average would be well well well below even close to what you'd call attractive .
l dunno , people asking or talking this kinda stuff must walk round with their eyes closed , really.
Because attraction is not all about looks, but looks are the easiest thing to blame if a person can’t find a date, and even easy to reverse blame onto other people (“No one will date me, they must all be shallow and looking for Chad.”) It’s much harder to realize and admit that the reason someone can’t get a date is that there’s just Something off about their personality and core being...boring, uninteresting, unsettling, unexciting. It’s not that the whole dating world is shallow, it’s that the whole dating world sees the faults that the person having trouble probably doesn’t. As one person on these boards put it once, “I should start up a drive-through psych clinic, these sad-sack guys are all the same.”
(And lest you think I’m being harsh to “other” people, she was talking about me when she said that.)
Because attraction is not all about looks, but looks are the easiest thing to blame if a person can’t find a date, and even easy to reverse blame onto other people (“No one will date me, they must all be shallow and looking for Chad.”) It’s much harder to realize and admit that the reason someone can’t get a date is that there’s just Something off about their personality and core being...boring, uninteresting, unsettling, unexciting. It’s not that the whole dating world is shallow, it’s that the whole dating world sees the faults that the person having trouble probably doesn’t. As one person on these boards put it once, “I should start up a drive-through psych clinic, these sad-sack guys are all the same.”
(And lest you think I’m being harsh to “other” people, she was talking about me when she said that.)
Agree, it's not always about a person's looks. The problem may lie in the individual's personality or the way they perceive women. If a guy thinks that women fall into stereotypical categories or that they all want a "Chad" then that attitude will come out in their words and actions even if they intentionally don't say anything like that.
I think if men (or women) who are having issues finding a partner for an extended period of time examined their personality and actions, they might find that that's the issue. If it is, they need to be open to change. Perhaps counseling would help.
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