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Old Today, 10:04 AM
 
202 posts, read 81,510 times
Reputation: 100

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BF and I have been together for 3 years, we moved across the country 9 months ago and have lived together since then. We've talked about marriage/our future and (originally) decided that we would get engaged after living together for a year.

We moved from the west coast to the east coast, and our lease is up in October, and I haven't been happy in our new state so there's a chance that we'll move back home.

For the most part since our move, our relationship has been good with the exception of some arguments we have had that have stemmed from my, frankly, lack of emotional maturity. I can rush, make mistakes, put the blame on others, and never make anything seem like it is my fault.

All of the above has frustrated my partner to no end. So a couple of weeks ago, BF and I basically had a 'come-to-Jesus talk' about how when our lease is up, we are going to have to make a decision about our relationship and whether or not we stay together or go our separate ways. Obviously this devastated me, as this is the guy that I envision spending my life with. I know he wants us to work out, but obviously has to think of himself first.

I want to mature/act my age, so I've read several (20+ articles) on how to become emotionally mature, as well as buying (and having read 1 of the 2) books on ways to become Emotionally Mature and strategies on how to improve. For the first week, I was doing well, and then last night I made some mistakes that caused me to break a glass, and just make excuses for myself. This greatly frustrated my BF and we had a small argument this morning.

I don't know why I seem to only be able to 'change' for a week and then revert back to my old ways and obviously, I want to change for myself because I need to start acting my age.

Does anybody have any advice on how I can hunker down and CHANGE and be able to make the effort so I can save myself, as well as my relationship? It seems that making the effort is the hardest part for me.

Any advice is GREATLY appreciated, and please be as harsh as you want. I don't want to take the easy way out

Last edited by lm0905; Today at 10:32 AM.. Reason: edited
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Old Today, 10:21 AM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
43,138 posts, read 41,752,473 times
Reputation: 82836
Quote:
Originally Posted by lm0905 View Post
Posted byu/Winendinen69
2 hours ago
How can I [25F] become emotionally mature so I don't kill me 3 year relationship with [28M]?
Personal issues
Hi all,

BF and I have been together for 3 years, we moved across the country 9 months ago and have lived together since then. We've talked about marriage/our future and (originally) decided that we would get engaged after living together for a year.

We moved from the west coast to the east coast, and our lease is up in October, and I haven't been happy in our new state so there's a chance that we'll move back home.

For the most part since our move, our relationship has been good with the exception of some arguments we have had that have stemmed from my, frankly, lack of emotional maturity. I can rush, make mistakes, put the blame on others, and never make anything seem like it is my fault.

All of the above has frustrated my partner to no end. So a couple of weeks ago, BF and I basically had a 'come-to-Jesus talk' about how when our lease is up, we are going to have to make a decision about our relationship and whether or not we stay together or go our separate ways. Obviously this devastated me, as this is the guy that I envision spending my life with. I know he wants us to work out, but obviously has to think of himself first.

I want to mature/act my age, so I've read several (20+ articles) on how to become emotionally mature, as well as buying (and having read 1 of the 2) books on ways to become Emotionally Mature and strategies on how to improve. For the first week, I was doing well, and then last night I made some mistakes that caused me to break a glass, and just make excuses for myself. This greatly frustrated my BF and we had a small argument this morning.

I don't know why I seem to only be able to 'change' for a week and then revert back to my old ways and obviously, I want to change for myself because I need to start acting my age.

Does anybody have any advice on how I can hunker down and CHANGE and be able to make the effort so I can save myself, as well as my relationship? It seems that making the effort is the hardest part for me.

Any advice is GREATLY appreciated, and please be as harsh as you want. I don't want to take the easy way out
Do you know how to look up your old posts here? Because all of them, even the work-related ones, have been exercising in how to do this. For years now people here have been trying to guide you in this.

Start here:

I am self-sabotaging my relationship

Also, is that your Reddit username at the top of your post? Because
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