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Old 07-08-2019, 06:08 PM
 
4,748 posts, read 1,430,185 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Butterflyfish View Post
If one is only dating casually, I don't really see the problem with ghosting. There is no obligation to contact someone to explain that you are not going to contact them again, in my opinion anyway.
This was 7 dates, not one or two. It makes a difference.
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Old 07-08-2019, 06:53 PM
 
7,428 posts, read 2,932,536 times
Reputation: 12319
Quote:
Originally Posted by SVTLightning View Post
She said he was nice and paid for everything, not exactly POS material in my opinion lol

As for the ghosting, maybe he got into a car wreck? Have you seen him online since?
Hmmm I think she could message either one of us his number, then we could ask him for her. Agreed?
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Old 07-08-2019, 08:45 PM
 
850 posts, read 1,099,264 times
Reputation: 676
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
I'm wondering what the point of a short-term casual dating thing would be, knowing that it would only last a few months, or whatever. Is it just me? Maybe he felt the same way, and found someone he got along with well, who was looking for an LTR.

But in any case, I do think ghosting is rude. But OP, what if he'd called or texted you, that he'd decided that "casual, short term" didn't work for him, so he was moving on? What could you possibly have responded to that? There's not much one can say, other than, "I understand. Thanks for letting me know."
agree, maybe it's the more "polite" option, and definitely better than keep going on bc they don't know what to say or want to be the bad guy, and are hoping you'll break up with them.

also agree that it's kind of pointless to date someone if one of them is moving away soon.
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Old 07-08-2019, 08:46 PM
 
Location: Polynesia
2,257 posts, read 1,227,929 times
Reputation: 4023
Quote:
Originally Posted by redplum33 View Post
This was 7 dates, not one or two. It makes a difference.
It wouldn't make a difference to ME. Not if it was understood by us both that it was strictly casual and nothing long term was ever going to come of it. But that's just me, I guess.
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Old 07-08-2019, 08:52 PM
 
Location: Polynesia
2,257 posts, read 1,227,929 times
Reputation: 4023
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
I'm wondering what the point of a short-term casual dating thing would be, knowing that it would only last a few months, or whatever. Is it just me? Maybe he felt the same way, and found someone he got along with well, who was looking for an LTR.

But in any case, I do think ghosting is rude. But OP, what if he'd called or texted you, that he'd decided that "casual, short term" didn't work for him, so he was moving on? What could you possibly have responded to that? There's not much one can say, other than, "I understand. Thanks for letting me know."
I can see a point of casual dating if it is just for companionship without any expectations or emotional investment. For example it makes perfect sense for young people in high school and/or college who are not prepared for anything serious. At the other end of the spectrum, there are people in my age group and older (I'm 62) who have no interest in anything serious, but might enjoy having someone to have dinner with or attend an event with.
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Old 07-08-2019, 08:57 PM
 
850 posts, read 1,099,264 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Butterflyfish View Post
It wouldn't make a difference to ME. Not if it was understood by us both that it was strictly casual and nothing long term was ever going to come of it.
It doesn't seem like it was, just that she was moving. Plus she said he was more into her, so maybe that's why he disappeared, if he didn't think she was that into him. But if she just wanted to have a fling before she left, she probably should have communicated that earlier instead of waiting 7 dates and then being disappointed that he didn't get it or make a move.
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Old 07-08-2019, 08:59 PM
 
Location: Polynesia
2,257 posts, read 1,227,929 times
Reputation: 4023
Quote:
Originally Posted by bikegal View Post
It doesn't seem like it was, just that she was moving. Plus she said he was more into her, so maybe that's why he disappeared, if he didn't think she was that into him. But if she just wanted to have a fling before she left, she probably should have communicated that earlier instead of waiting 7 dates and then being disappointed that he didn't get it or make a move.
I agree completely. That is the most likely what happened.
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Old 07-08-2019, 09:18 PM
 
2,111 posts, read 1,689,369 times
Reputation: 2539
Sounds like he made right call.

After 7 dates and you not only sounding not serious but then mention your moving too. I would have interrupted that as you letting me down easy or keeping me in back pocket.

He probably didn't even act in spite.
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Old 07-09-2019, 01:47 AM
 
10 posts, read 3,032 times
Reputation: 13
Quote:
Originally Posted by picardlx View Post
Sounds like he made right call.

After 7 dates and you not only sounding not serious but then mention your moving too. I would have interrupted that as you letting me down easy or keeping me in back pocket.

He probably didn't even act in spite.
I said I am moving on our 3rd date, he could have ended it there if he didn't want short term fling.
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Old 07-09-2019, 01:59 AM
 
Location: around
681 posts, read 236,134 times
Reputation: 607
Your wondering if things are this disposable yet you were only after casual , somem you throw away when you move , someone to sleep with just to fill in a few months. Umm ?
And l'm wondering what makes you think he took off just because you hadn't slept together , maybe he just wasn't so crazy about you as he got to know you more but you were moving anyway so of course it's just a fill in to him too but now maybe the real deal came along.
But hey you wanted disposable yourself anyway so whatever the case can't expect him to just hang around until your ready to jump on the plane right.
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