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Old 07-09-2019, 03:02 AM
 
10 posts, read 1,680 times
Reputation: 34

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You made it casual and set the tone by saying you were moving. Maybe he thought it would be an easy score but you didn't give signs of sleeping with him, so he cut it off after the last date. It's also possible he was dating someone else and found what he was looking for.
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Old 07-09-2019, 07:47 PM
 
10 posts, read 3,032 times
Reputation: 13
Whoever said I treated him as disposable that is not the truth. I didn't trick or lie about anything. I don't treat people as disposable. So I was only able to offer short term fling. I get offered those all the time by men who travel for business. Not a big deal. I communicated what I wanted, also we are both professionals who might move around for work. I don't see offering short term as me treating him disposable, I would end any relationship by at least texting.
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Old 07-09-2019, 08:01 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
43,268 posts, read 41,844,197 times
Reputation: 83118
Quote:
Originally Posted by retro_80s View Post
Whoever said I treated him as disposable that is not the truth. I didn't trick or lie about anything. I don't treat people as disposable. So I was only able to offer short term fling. I get offered those all the time by men who travel for business. Not a big deal. I communicated what I wanted, also we are both professionals who might move around for work. I don't see offering short term as me treating him disposable, I would end any relationship by at least texting.
A short-term fling is pretty much the definition of disposable???

Kinda like paper plates are short-term dishes. You're gonna toss it aside at some point in the near future.
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Old 07-09-2019, 08:37 PM
 
Location: In a place beyond human comprehension
7,634 posts, read 4,878,034 times
Reputation: 12528
Quote:
Originally Posted by retro_80s View Post
Whoever said I treated him as disposable that is not the truth. I didn't trick or lie about anything. I don't treat people as disposable. So I was only able to offer short term fling. I get offered those all the time by men who travel for business. Not a big deal. I communicated what I wanted, also we are both professionals who might move around for work. I don't see offering short term as me treating him disposable, I would end any relationship by at least texting.
Yeah OP, the more I read your posts, the more I realize that you kind of manifested this entire situation on yourself. How can you say you wanted to date casually, then complain about being disposable. Wanting a short term fling and that's it, is the definition of disposable. What else could that possibly mean? I think the real issue here is that your ego was bruised. Because you felt like he was fawning over you and he showed you in a not subtle way, that he wasn't. Dude clearly wasn't into as much as you thought. None of what you're saying makes sense anymore. You get out of this world, what you put in. You wanted a disposable casual fling, and that's how you were treated regardless of the fact that you two didn't even have sex. Point blank period.
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Old 07-09-2019, 10:59 PM
 
3,787 posts, read 1,375,666 times
Reputation: 1598
Ghosting in the Game of Dating is like Injuries in sports. When it happens it can cause a lot of pain which is one of the main reasons most people hate dating.
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Old 07-09-2019, 11:27 PM
 
Location: SoCal
83 posts, read 39,521 times
Reputation: 409
Quote:
Originally Posted by retro_80s View Post
So short story I go out with this dude 7 times. He was clearly more interested. He texted, double texted, was very nice etc. Not pushing anything out of the norm. Paid for every date and insisted he pays. And then nothing. After that, he just vanished.

Now I disclosed I am moving out of state at date 3 so that should not be a surprise or whatever. I was looking for something casual but not just hooking up at his place. And just as I was finally ready to have sex he decided to ghost me. Maybe he was looking for sex and ended up with someone who decided to go for it so there is no incentive? Still, have 7 dates and give up? I suppose he maybe didn't get the hint I was ready.

I believe that there are at least a few sections in The Canterbury Tales which focus on the horrors of epididymal hypertension (aka “Blue Balls”). Like everyone else, I have had book reports on Chaucer’s magnus opus during my schooling days but have never actually read it - the Cliff’s Notes are usually better than the real thing for the serious student.

Suffice to say, Blue Balls is an extremely painful condition which can lead to psychosomatic stress that creates even more pain, instability and mental confusion for the unfortunate victim: A vicious cycle of physical and mental pain akin to a biological vortex of pain.

The male body becomes a virtual echo chamber of pain between the gonads and brain as each sends pain receptors back to one another at elevated levels of pain...like a tennis match with no winner. The man often reaches a point of mental degradation that is very acute - leading him to nonsensical acts such as Chaucer’s knights who would raid neighboring villages just to release their aggression and with hopes of getting laid upon their victorious return.

The astute reader should conclude from your statement that the gentleman that you strung along for 7 dates with nary a move to 2nd Base was simply a sad victim of Blue Balls. On the third date - which is not atypical for a man to reach 2nd Base - you drank his wine and medium-well steak only to inform him that you were planning to move to another state while he had visions of cannon’s firing into the dark of the night.

The onset of Blue Balls for him was clearly an extreme case as his mentally weakened state somehow convinced him that going on another four futile dates with you was a good idea. The man is to be pitied.

There are only two conclusions to this story that I can see. First, he ran into an old flame or hired a hooker that relieved the pressure in his gonads and stopped the pain. Once his mental state was immediately revived, he looked up into the Heavens and declared: “Thank you God for releasing me from this Hell!”. The second alternative is quite dark, the pressure in his gonads was so great that after the seventh date he returned home only to have them literally explode while laying on his couch while watching late-night TV.

There is a good chance that the man’s corpse is laying in his living room at this very moment leaving behind an unspeakably horrible image for the unfortunate witness that ultimately discovers the sad scene.
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Old 07-10-2019, 12:14 AM
 
Location: Kaliforneea
1,260 posts, read 948,993 times
Reputation: 2097
Ehhhh, you were moving out of town anyways.

I would just play the Grease song "Summer Nights" and sing along with John Travolta & Olivia Newton-John. Not a big deal.
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Old 07-10-2019, 07:10 AM
 
Location: Whereever we have our RV parked
8,786 posts, read 7,704,486 times
Reputation: 15069
He wasnt getting sex and you're moving away and you're surprised he disappeared?
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Old 07-10-2019, 07:25 AM
 
Location: Canada
9,076 posts, read 8,345,715 times
Reputation: 19437
Quote:
Originally Posted by augiedogie View Post
He wasnt getting sex and you're moving away and you're surprised he disappeared?
Sex is not something you get, it's something you have with another.
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Old 07-10-2019, 09:52 AM
 
8,568 posts, read 7,141,255 times
Reputation: 9023
You wanted casual...that sounds about as casual as it gets.
Casual = no obligations.

You just sound offended that you didn’t get a goodbye message.

Quote:
Originally Posted by retro_80s View Post
I get it but to spend all this money and time ( average date 3 hours), plus uber all across the city ( we live on opposite sides of a major west coast city) to disappear without even saying a word.
That’s probably WHY he dispersed so suddenly once it was explicitly understood things would be going nowhere.

Last edited by rego00123; 07-10-2019 at 10:05 AM..
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