U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old Yesterday, 01:37 PM
 
9 posts, read 703 times
Reputation: 13

Advertisements

So short story I go out with this dude 7 times. He was clearly more interested. He texted, double texted, was very nice etc. Not pushing anything out of the norm. Paid for every date and insisted he pays. And then nothing. After that, he just vanished.

Now I disclosed I am moving out of state at date 3 so that should not be a surprise or whatever. I was looking for something casual but not just hooking up at his place. And just as I was finally ready to have sex he decided to ghost me. Maybe he was looking for sex and ended up with someone who decided to go for it so there is no incentive? Still, have 7 dates and give up? I suppose he maybe didn't get the hint I was ready.

I go online to see is this a thing and apparently, it is. Ghosting is not just after 1 or 2 dates. It can happen anytime. Some say even after a whole year. Online stories might be the worst of the worst but this is so disheartening. Is it really that hard to break it off with someone? If you invested time and money in that person why can't you have the courtesy to at least make up some excuses to end things?

I feel like dating is a contest who can care less and we should assume they will vanish and plan accordingly. I literally have to date more than one person since at least one will do this stuff.

Is this really a current state of dating? Am I exaggerating? Where you ghosted after more than 5 dates?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old Yesterday, 01:48 PM
 
Location: In a place beyond human comprehension
7,618 posts, read 4,865,651 times
Reputation: 12495
Could be. But it also be that you're just dating crappy people. When it comes to dating, you have to go through a lot of wrongs before you meet the right person. Or at least, that's what they say. Someone I was a close to disappeared on me after a few years and several friendships I had have faded as well. So I think part of it is natural but it doesn't make it easy to deal with. I do think in the age of online dating it does make people more quick to toss someone aside as opposed to taking their time. However, I don't think there is THAT much of a difference. The key is to find people are like you and learn how to weed out the ones who aren't
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old Yesterday, 01:53 PM
 
7,374 posts, read 2,917,987 times
Reputation: 12262
Quote:
Originally Posted by retro_80s View Post
I feel like dating is a contest who can care less and we should assume they will vanish and plan accordingly. I literally have to date more than one person since at least one will do this stuff.

Is this really a current state of dating? Am I exaggerating? Where you ghosted after more than 5 dates?
You assumed he would vanish and planned accordingly, then he vanished and you’re r surprised? Maybe he had the same plan, date more than one, and just ghosted you before you could ghost him after 7 dates w/o sex.

IDK, he probably got the same: Who Cares? Vibe from you that I’m getting from reading the story.
“I’m probably moving.” “”I’m hinting at sex.”
Maybe he didn’t think you’d care if he showed up any more or not. Who knows, no one cares enough to ask him I guess. You’ll have to try that other guy you have waiting “just in case” has happened.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old Yesterday, 01:56 PM
 
4,688 posts, read 1,415,106 times
Reputation: 6505
He got tired of waiting. Be thankful this happened. He sounds like a POS.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old Yesterday, 02:00 PM
 
Location: Fuquay Varina
4,553 posts, read 6,639,734 times
Reputation: 11272
Quote:
Originally Posted by redplum33 View Post
He got tired of waiting. Be thankful this happened. He sounds like a POS.
She said he was nice and paid for everything, not exactly POS material in my opinion lol

As for the ghosting, maybe he got into a car wreck? Have you seen him online since?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old Yesterday, 02:07 PM
 
601 posts, read 200,314 times
Reputation: 1823
You said he was more into you than you were in him. Plus you're moving. I'm surprised he even put 7 dates in.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old Yesterday, 02:08 PM
 
5,103 posts, read 2,746,040 times
Reputation: 9375
Sounds like a nice guy and you had a good time... you’re moving away and had a clean break so what is the problem OP?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old Yesterday, 02:29 PM
 
9 posts, read 703 times
Reputation: 13
Quote:
Originally Posted by SWFL_Native View Post
Sounds like a nice guy and you had a good time... you’re moving away and had a clean break so what is the problem OP?
The problem is that he said he would like to see me, he even said what day works.
I did mention my possible trip to another state I am moving so maybe he finally realized I really am moving. From my past experiences when men check out after date 2 or 3 if sex is what they are after and it's not happening. Guys who invested 7 dates generally wanted to get something out of it.

I mean I know it is probably not the best to assume the worst but if we keep our hopes up and believe in people but if they keep disappointing me that would get old fast. I don't want to be one of those jaded women.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old Yesterday, 02:34 PM
 
9 posts, read 703 times
Reputation: 13
Quote:
Originally Posted by RbccL View Post
You assumed he would vanish and planned accordingly, then he vanished and you’re r surprised? Maybe he had the same plan, date more than one, and just ghosted you before you could ghost him after 7 dates w/o sex.

IDK, he probably got the same: Who Cares? Vibe from you that I’m getting from reading the story.
“I’m probably moving.” “”I’m hinting at sex.”
Maybe he didn’t think you’d care if he showed up any more or not. Who knows, no one cares enough to ask him I guess. You’ll have to try that other guy you have waiting “just in case” has happened.
But I don't ghost people, didn't even think ghosting after that many dates is a thing or that people act that cowardly. I would at least sent a text saying why I am no longer interested. Heck, I would say I already moved or something but would not just check out.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old Yesterday, 02:39 PM
 
7,374 posts, read 2,917,987 times
Reputation: 12262
Quote:
Originally Posted by retro_80s View Post
But I don't ghost people, didn't even think ghosting after that many dates is a thing or that people act that cowardly. I would at least sent a text saying why I am no longer interested. Heck, I would say I already moved or something but would not just check out.
Ask him?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply

Quick Reply
Message:


Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top