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Old 07-10-2019, 04:41 PM
 
Location: new to the BA & l o v e it
1,266 posts, read 293,410 times
Reputation: 1126

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Quote:
Originally Posted by That_One_Girl View Post
True but there are many positive things you could do with your life that don't even come close to having that big of a list of negatives.
A N D... lots of couples have a *very* happy life together without kids.

 
Old 07-10-2019, 04:46 PM
 
Location: In a place beyond human comprehension
7,725 posts, read 4,942,207 times
Reputation: 12730
Quote:
Originally Posted by TashaPosh View Post
That's how you are reading it...........but read my posts & you will see I said I believe him & this is *my* decision to make. I only *WISH* we could make it later....because it's hard for me to make a final decision on something I would not be ready for right now anyways. I said all of that too.

If he got a vasectomy tomorrow....I'd still feel as I have been feeling when I think about all of it. A little sad and *final* at the loss....but still very happy & in love....
Then do your own thing OP. You are all the assurance you need.
 
Old 07-10-2019, 05:46 PM
 
Location: new to the BA & l o v e it
1,266 posts, read 293,410 times
Reputation: 1126
Quote:
Originally Posted by Auraliea View Post
Then do your own thing OP. You are all the assurance you need.
As someone said...there is loss either way......& it's only a matter of coming to terms with it. Nothing is ever perfect.....it just so happens I fell in love with an older man. Thank you!
 
Old 07-10-2019, 05:51 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
43,652 posts, read 42,257,113 times
Reputation: 84111
Quote:
Originally Posted by TashaPosh View Post
That's how you are reading it...........but read my posts & you will see I said I believe him & this is *my* decision to make. I only *WISH* we could make it later....because it's hard for me to make a final decision on something I would not be ready for right now anyways. I said all of that too.
That's the thing ... there is no "we." There is no decision for the two of you to make together.

HE has already decided what he's doing.

If you stay with him, you are either choosing to be child free, or you are choosing to delay heartbreak. That's it.
 
Old 07-10-2019, 06:02 PM
 
Location: new to the BA & l o v e it
1,266 posts, read 293,410 times
Reputation: 1126
Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle View Post
That's the thing ... there is no "we." There is no decision for the two of you to make together.

HE has already decided what he's doing.

If you stay with him, you are either choosing to be child free, or you are choosing to delay heartbreak. That's it.
I know that by choosing him I'm choosing to be child free....because I'm in love with an older man who is no longer planning to have kids......

There doesn't have to be heartbreak....maybe just a little bittersweet.
 
Old 07-10-2019, 06:14 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
43,652 posts, read 42,257,113 times
Reputation: 84111
Quote:
Originally Posted by TashaPosh View Post

There doesn't have to be heartbreak....maybe just a little bittersweet.
I don't mean heartbreak about being childfree. It's an either/or situation.

Either you'll be happy and child free, or the heartbreak comes when you stay with him and then realize 6-7-8 years from now that you do, in fact, want kids. If that happens 8 years down the road, you're either dealing with that loss or the loss from breaking up with him after all that time.

But this is not something the two of you are deciding together. It's ALL on you. That's why I said earlier this decision is forcing your hand. You may not be ready to decide, but you kind of have to.

Like it or not, it's basically the universe telling you that it's too soon to move in together.
 
Old 07-10-2019, 06:40 PM
 
Location: Texas
9,906 posts, read 3,797,760 times
Reputation: 20216
Yes, I'd break up over that issue. There is no way to compromise on it.
 
Old 07-10-2019, 07:29 PM
 
Location: new to the BA & l o v e it
1,266 posts, read 293,410 times
Reputation: 1126
Quote:
Originally Posted by PriscillaVanilla View Post
Yes, I'd break up over that issue. There is no way to compromise on it.
For someone who wants & values having a child...& wants to risk finding someone out there again to have a child.. over a wonderful relationship now....that would be the thing to do.
 
Old 07-10-2019, 07:33 PM
 
Location: new to the BA & l o v e it
1,266 posts, read 293,410 times
Reputation: 1126
Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle View Post
I don't mean heartbreak about being childfree. It's an either/or situation.

Either you'll be happy and child free, or the heartbreak comes when you stay with him and then realize 6-7-8 years from now that you do, in fact, want kids. If that happens 8 years down the road, you're either dealing with that loss or the loss from breaking up with him after all that time.

But this is not something the two of you are deciding together. It's ALL on you. That's why I said earlier this decision is forcing your hand. You may not be ready to decide, but you kind of have to.

Like it or not, it's basically the universe telling you that it's too soon to move in together.
I could also risk leaving my Bf over this....& never find another relationship. Or...what if he said for me, he would have a baby? Then what...? We can look at life in so many different ways....I'm not a betting girl. I look at all that is in front of me...& I'm so lucky to have the love I have now. Is it likely it would happen TWICE...all in time to *maybe* have a baby? I don't think so.........
 
Old 07-10-2019, 07:48 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
43,652 posts, read 42,257,113 times
Reputation: 84111
Quote:
Originally Posted by TashaPosh View Post

I'm so lucky to have the love I have now.
Yes, that is true!

It just sounds like deep down you aren't ready to move in with him.
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